In a related story, Muslim clerics in Saudi Arabia have launched a new marketing initiative aimed at stopping all war and guaranteeing peace for the world.

"It's not a new idea," said Sheik Muhammed al-Fasaid, Grand Mufti of the No More Enemies mosque in downtown Riyadh. "We have been trying to bring peace to the world for over fourteen hundred years. Once we slaughter or convert all of the apes and pigs, there will be no more enemies, and thus no more enemies."

Sheryl Crow's publicist came out with a statement.
"In a time where singers come and go overnight, Sheryl Crow is a rarity - on top for almost a decade."

More details of the No More Enemies movement have just been announced. Rodney King will chair the "Can't We All Just Get Along" oversight board.

A nationwide celebration is scheduled for Saturday night, as people are urged to climb on their rooftops and sing the Beatle's classic, "Let It Be", followed by an interminable chanting of NA NA NA NA NA NA NAAAA NA NA NAAAA HEY JUDE.

After a brief potty break on Sunday morning, celebrants should walk towards Main St., linking arms and singing, "All we are saying, is give peace a chance." Wrap-up meetings will take place at Starbucks, where "NO BLOOD FOR OIL" buttons will be handed out.

Dudes--lighten up! All she wants to do is have some fun.

Scrap - If Letterman's writers could come up with material this good, I would watch him. Have you ever been invited on a talk radio show?

Hysterical! But then one recalls that The Crow Doctrine was official US foreign policy for the 8 years of Clinton/Gore. Kumbaya. Karma. Krap.

But the best way to "not have enemies" is to declare war on them and kill them.

Crow's foreign policy insights were immediately attacked by Ms. Sarandon and Ms. Streisand as "focusing on the negatives."

"Not having enemies is only a first step, not a destination" Miss Streisand said, "and it creates a negative energy -- 'not' brings its own micro-karmic damage as does 'enemies'. All we are saying is 'have friends, make peace, create love' -- a totally positive force. It's hard for me to believe that Ms. Crow would miss this simple distinction -- I know she's young and she definitely is a developing talent with prospects of being a very decent, if not exceptional, voice. Once she's done with music lessons and has the benefit of more time to study international relations as I have, I'm sure we can look to her for more positive comments. The 'no enemies' idea with it's double negative put me into a brown field that took three days to break down. Is she a Republican -- does anyone know? She sort of sings like one, though I very much like her voice. Has she recorded anything yet?"

Kind of reminds me that the guy who sang "Imagine No Possessions" was a multi-millionaire living in the Dakota.

Zevon said it best: send lawyers, guns and money.

LMAO! You made my day.

I think we should send Al Sharpeton, Jimmy Carter, Jesse Jackson, and James Carville to Iraq. They could negoitiate their way out of the rapture!

All we are sayyying, is give peace a chance!
All we are sayyying, is aa peaase saa daam !

I always thought rock'n roll was about "kicking ass!"
Guess not.
Where's the pro war celebrity voice? Looks like Charleton and Ted are it!

"Enemies!" Ah, nuts. I thought she said enemas. I was hoping to bypass my weekly cleansing.

Hey Catfish...don't forget Jeff Spicoli! He's already familiar with the job!

It's so nice to live in a simple world where any given problem has, not one, but two possible solutions:

* beat 'em
* join 'em

no wonder democracy's dead.

Jon...you forgot the third choice..."Get the hell out of the way".

Niccceee pagee