ScrappleFace: N. Korea to Get Oil In Exchange for 'Magic Beans'

N. Korea to Get Oil In Exchange for 'Magic Beans'

(2003-01-13) -- The Democratic Peoples' Republic of Korea has reportedly struck a deal with the United States to receive billions of dollars worth of energy and food in exchange for "three very special magic beans."

In the arrangement, worked out on behalf of the U.S. by New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson, North Korea will return to its former policy of pretending not to develop nuclear weapons.

"It's hard to say what the magic beans do," said Gov. Richardson, "but the North Koreans promised us it would be very exciting to watch."

During the Clinton administration, Gov. Richardson served as U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations, and is best known for his tough talk which forced Saddam Hussein to turn over all of Iraq's weapons of mass destruction in 1998.

In the new "framework agreement", the North Korean government has also promised to stop threatening to turn America into a "sea of fire," and writers of U.S. government memos will cease referring to Kim Jong Il as King Kong II, Porky Pig or Little Elvis.

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Can we still call him Doctor Eeevil?

Posted by: Ken at January 16, 2003 02:43 PM

Who?, George W?????

Posted by: miceal at January 24, 2003 06:27 AM

(1-25-03) New Mexico Governor (D) Bill Richardson announced today that, at Bill Clinton's request, he has hired Monica Lewinsky to assist him in further negotiations with North Korea.

"I'm sure that Monica's experience at Revlon will be useful in our discussions with Kim Jong Il," said Richardson. "She has a natural fashion sense and a style that we think Mr. Il will appreciate."

Miss Lewinsky stated, "I guess I'll play the 'good cop' roll, but I plan to also be like a best friend..like someone Kim could really open up with. I plan to give him some candid fashion and makeup advice like only a best friend would."

Miss Lewinsky said she wants to change Mr. Il's eyeglasses and hair first. "He has that 'Coffee Talk with Linda Richman' look. That is so yesterday. I'm going to suggest some sunglasses like Kid Rock, and maybe a sun-tipped hair weave. Then we'll get him the latest pudge-hiding clothes from the Gap. We're going for that Marina District Asian-techno-zoomer look. I'm so glad to feel useful to my country again."

Posted by: N. Facol at January 25, 2003 12:38 PM