(2002-12-23) -- Former executives at Enron, WorldCom, Arthur Anderson and other disgraced companies have asked that universities which have been recipients of their generosity cease using their names on buildings and fellowships.

"I'm ashamed of what I did at Enron," said former CEO Kenneth Lay, whose name graces a professorship at the University of Missouri-Columbia. "But even I have my standards. When I found out what happens in those university classrooms under the guise of so-called higher education, I called the development office and told them to get my name off that professorship."

Mr. Lay is not alone--college development offices are fielding collect calls from prison cells where formerly-wealthy donors now have time to ponder what colleges really teach.

"I've seen the stats and the stories," said an inmate at a minimum-security correctional institution. "Kids show up at these universities with high ideals and hopes, and four years later, they're a bunch of drunks and dopers, who have lost all sense of right and wrong. Where do you think most of us crooked execs got our start? Most of us are college grads."