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December 16, 2002
MLB Dictates Terms for Re-Admitting Rose

(2002-12-16) -- Major League Baseball (MLB) announced today that the ban it imposed on fallen star Pete Rose would be lifted if Rose would confess to betting on baseball.

Mr. Rose has consistently denied doing that.

In a news release faxed to sports departments nationwide, MLB said, "We take gambling quite seriously. It is one of the worst infractions a professional player can commit. Therefore, if Mr. Rose admits he did that, we will lift the ban."

The news release concluded, "The only way for Pete Rose to get into the MLB Hall of Fame is to admit he doesn't belong there."

by Scott Ott | Donate | | Comments (2) | More Satire | Printer-Friendly
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Excellent point. The gambling rule in baseball Rule 21(d)gives a one year suspension for gambling but a lifetime ineligibility for gambling on one's own team. Since Rose agreed to the lifetime ban it's pretty clear he bet against the Reds when he was their manager. So your final sentence is dead solid perfect. Now, after he's dead will he be eligible for the HOF since he will have completed his lifetime suspension?

Posted by: MD at December 16, 2002 02:41 PM

Well, if Rose ALSO admits that he says he believes in God but doesn't mean it, he will be eligible for the Boy Scouts of America.

Posted by: the talking dog at December 18, 2002 04:53 PM
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