ScrappleFace: Sample of Scott Ott Parody Bookette

Sample of Scott Ott Parody Bookette

Here's an excerpt from the first page of "All I Ever Needed to Know About Chicken Soup I Learned from the Celestine Women of Venus," by Scott Ott

If you like it, click the Pay Pal button below and pay just $3.50 in one easy installment, and your 12-page bookette will be emailed to you (usually within 48 hours or less).

Note: If you don't know how to use PayPal, don't want to, or fear that Tom Ridge may track your transaction, email The Editor and you can make an alternative payment arrangement.

Excerpt...

This book is for all those who know in their hearts that there is more to this life than mediocrity. It is for those who yearn to break free from the fears that keep us from reaching our potential. It is, especially, for those who are susceptible to clever marketing and shallow, pandering psychobabble designed to make you feel good about yourself for no good reason.

As the Chinese sage said, "The journey of a thousand miles begins with an empty bladder, and we're not stopping on the Turnpike."

This is not a book of wisdom from one who "has it all figured out." Instead, I want to meet you in these pages as "one hungry beggar showing another hungry beggar where to find bread." But even though I'm a hungry beggar, I promise not to beat you up and take your money. (Except for the cost of this book, of course.) Instead, I want us to walk arm in arm through this journey we call life, looking at all the sights along the way, pointing out the guideposts, stopping for a bean burrito.

The point is, we're all just people...people who need people...the luckiest people...

And yet we speak different languages, we each have different gifts, we each possess our own unique...nostrils. (No two are alike, you know.) And if we could just put our finger on what it is that makes us special, we'd find a gold mine of possibilities.

This is not just another pseudo-spiritual self-help book that fills you with phony, false hope but leaves you largely unchanged. (At least that's what I said in my proposal to the publisher, and even I'm starting to believe it.) No, I want to fill you with genuine false hope...the kind that makes your heart pound -- the kind that even makes your dog pound.

Okay, that's enough free stuff. If you want to read the rest, just click here and pay $3.50 via Pay Pal.

Comments

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Hey just wanted to suggest that maybe you should have a way for people to pay the traditional means. yeah, yeah, i know people say that online buying can be secure, but i am going to wait awhile to see how things really shake out before i give out my credit card, etc., in cyberspace.

So how about "Send me $3.50 plus X shipping and handling, and you can have the book?"

Anyway, keep up the good work.

Aaron

"May your life be interesting."
-Ancient Chinese Curse

Posted by: Aaron at May 7, 2003 02:44 PM

#2 ... ya baby!

Posted by: Frodo at June 7, 2003 12:03 AM

Scott, will you hold me?

Posted by: Butters at February 14, 2004 08:43 PM

Scott, will you marry me ?? I have 3 dogs and live in Camelot. Very Sincerely, Nancy Lee Bell......okay, okay, skip marriage, just send me a free copy of your book........then I'' promote it in my rabid conservative's K-9 cocktail bar and brothel in beautiful, republican IDAHO where drinking and other stuff like having doggies is still free and encouraged !!!

Posted by: Nancy Lee Bell at April 6, 2004 02:50 PM

Hey, I paid the $3.50, now how do I get to read it?

Posted by: Larry Little at April 7, 2004 01:50 PM