Minnesota GOP Candidate Declared Legally Insane
(2002-11-01) -- The Senate candidacy of former St. Paul Mayor Norm Coleman ended in tragedy and shame today as members of his own party placed him in a hospital for the mentally deranged.
"It was heartbreaking," said a Minnesota GOP campaign worker. "But Coleman just went stark-raving nuts."
GOP officials were alerted to Mr. Coleman's condition when he issued a plea to Republicans to refrain from negative advertising in his campaign against surrogate-candidate Walter F. Mondale.
In a related story, the new ballots for the Minnesota Senate election have been printed. Here is the text from the ballot:
Who should represent Minnesota in the U.S. Senate? (check one)
Not Norm Coleman_____
Not Walter Mondale_____
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Mondale has also promised to make the metric system a reality in America by the end of his first term.
He also vowed to vote against any legislation that would reclassify ketchup as anything other than it's rightful categorization as "soup base."
Former Democrat Norman Coleman today announced he was switching back to the Democratic Party just days before the Election. "The Democratic Party clearly needs reform."
A spokesman for Walter Mondale announced shortly thereafter that Paul Wellstone's family has urged Mondale to switch to the Republican party. "Paul would have wanted that."
Bravo! Bravo! Hurray for Mr Coleman.
Wake up and smell the roses!