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October 18, 2002
U.S. Asks U.N. for 'Fill in the Blank' Resolution

(2002-10-18) -- The United States asked the U.N. Security Council today to approve a 'fill in the blank' resolution authorizing military strikes on despotic regimes which possess weapons of mass destruction.

"It's really just a time-saving device," said U.S. Secretary of State Colin Powell. "We don't want to tie up the Security Council's time with a bunch of resolutions that are basically the same, just aimed at different countries."

Mr. Powell said it would be like an ordinary use-of-force resolution, except the nation's name would be left blank.

"We could go to Kinkos and run off a good supply of these resolutions," said Mr. Powell. "Then we can just fill them in as we need them. You know, 'authorized to attack Iraq, North Korea, Pakistan and any others who threaten regional peace and world security'."

The U.S. request comes after news that North Korea has a nuclear weapons program which Pakistan's chief nuclear expert helped them to develop.

The French delegate said he would prefer two resolutions--one authorizing the use of force on nobody, and the second resolution consisting of nothing but the blank.

by Scott Ott | Donate | | Comments (4) | More Satire | Printer-Friendly
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And I've got a UN Security Council resolution authorizing me to eat ice cream snacks right out of the freezer at my local grocery store.

Posted by: Jonathan Cohen at October 18, 2002 09:53 PM

While we're at it, can I get one that says Hellen Hunt has to go on a date with me?

Posted by: Eric Cox at October 22, 2002 02:57 AM

kewl website

Posted by: Mary at February 4, 2004 07:49 PM

kewl website

Posted by: Mary at February 4, 2004 07:49 PM
0A
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