ScrappleFace500.gif
Top Headlines...
:: Limbaugh Ruling Inadvertantly Overturns Roe v. Wade
:: Kerry Protests Dig At Tomb of Genghis Khan
:: Kerry: Iraq Report Proves Saddam More Patient Than Bush
:: VP Debate Ends: Viewers Eager to Learn Who Won
:: Cheney Debate Strategy: 'Try to Look Stoic'
:: Bin Laden Deputy Thanks Kerry for 'Great Ideas'
:: Kerry Wins Debate, Appears 'Almost Senatorial'
:: Kerry Battles Bush Without Plan to Win Peace
:: Kerry Called Up in Draft, Misses Debate
:: Rev. Jackson Brings Black Windsurfers Into Kerry Camp

October 02, 2002
Attack Nixed: Iraq Has 'Nuculer', Not Nuclear Weapons

(2002-10-02) -- President Bush today announced that Iraq has "nuculer, not nuclear, weapons...there will be no invasion."

The news comes as a relief to Americans and others who had feared Iraq's nuclear capability.

"My advisors tell me that 'nuculer' isn't even a word," said Bush during a White House news conference. "So, if it's not a word, I guess it wouldn't make much of a weapon."

by Scott Ott | Donate | | Comments (9) | More Satire | Printer-Friendly
Buy "Axis of Weasels," the first book by Scott Ott. $12.95 + S&H;
Email this entry to: Your email address:
Message (optional):
Comments
Skip to Comments Form

Chortle. That one bothers you too, eh? Every time I hear it, I wonder if he pronounces 'spaghetti' as 'pasketti'...

Posted by: Kathy K at October 2, 2002 06:38 PM


Maybe its a one fedora size fits all composite buzz word.

Nuke ruler. New nuclear ruler. Or even nuke new nuclear ruler.

Posted by: emuonacid at October 2, 2002 11:18 PM

Its "BIS-ketti", not "pasketti"...pasketti is just stupid.

Posted by: Tys Miha at October 3, 2002 08:40 PM

Tys, of course it's pasketti. BIS-ketti is so not right.

Posted by: Dave Roberts at October 4, 2002 12:49 PM

Sure, BIS-ketti sounds wrong if you say it THAT way, but I was only empasizing the "bis" as opposed to "pas" in my post. Phonetically, its pronounced (bis-KET-tee) not (pah-SKET-tee).

Posted by: Tys Miha at October 4, 2002 05:53 PM

Absolutely wonderful! You might also want to look at this...

Posted by: Frank at October 6, 2002 08:29 AM

Are you naive enough to believe that Saddam could not turn so-called "peaceful" Atlantic nut clams into weapons of mass destruction?

Official reports say that men of middle-Eastern appearance have been detected carrying copies "A Field Guide to Seashore Life" onto
airliners, and that Islamic students have attempted to enroll in courses at the Woods Hole Marine Biological Institute.

One classified study recently leaked by the White House says that Saddam ALREADY HAS aquaria full of nut clams, _Nucula proxima,_ in his presidential palace.

According to this study, if Iraq could get a supply of weaponized AIDS virus, and if they could infect _Nucula_ with it, and if clams could fly--Iraq could rapidly deploy nucular biological weapons.

Posted by: Anonymous coward at October 6, 2002 09:51 PM

Shine on, Anonymous coward.

Posted by: Cicadi at October 11, 2002 10:06 AM

what we have here is-a hick not a president

Posted by: i love me at January 16, 2003 03:16 PM