ScrappleFace500.gif
Top Headlines...
:: Limbaugh Ruling Inadvertantly Overturns Roe v. Wade
:: Kerry Protests Dig At Tomb of Genghis Khan
:: Kerry: Iraq Report Proves Saddam More Patient Than Bush
:: VP Debate Ends: Viewers Eager to Learn Who Won
:: Cheney Debate Strategy: 'Try to Look Stoic'
:: Bin Laden Deputy Thanks Kerry for 'Great Ideas'
:: Kerry Wins Debate, Appears 'Almost Senatorial'
:: Kerry Battles Bush Without Plan to Win Peace
:: Kerry Called Up in Draft, Misses Debate
:: Rev. Jackson Brings Black Windsurfers Into Kerry Camp

September 27, 2002
Gephardt's Solution: "Cancel the Elections"

(2002-09-27) -- U.S. House Minority Leader Richard "Dick" Gephardt (D-MO), concerned that Republicans have politicized the issue of national security, introduced legislation to cancel the November elections.

"Eleven years ago," Gephardt wrote in The New York Times, "the Persian Gulf war debate on Iraq took place after an election, which helped keep politics out of it. Because of the urgency the current administration has placed on Iraq, we are asked to vote on the issue this fall."

In a phone interview, Gephardt said, "We can't do it that fast, so we should cancel the elections. With no campaigning to poison the atmosphere of democracy, members of Congress could speak their minds, vote their consciences and do what's right."

"We cannot have elections where the primary issue is a Constitutional one, like providing for the common defense," Gephardt added. "The founding fathers never intended to allow voters to decide based on issues of life or death. Elections are about personality, and great slogans like 'It's the economy stupid'."

Gephardt said Congress could either move these mid-term elections to 2004, or change the calendar and declare that this year is actually 2001. He said there was precedent for the latter in our system of changing the clock for Daylight Saving Time.

"You could call this Election Saving Time," he said.

by Scott Ott | Donate | | Comments (2) | More Satire | Printer-Friendly
Buy "Axis of Weasels," the first book by Scott Ott. $12.95 + S&H;
Email this entry to: Your email address:
Message (optional):
Skip to Comments Form

The United States managed National Elections during the Civil War and WWII with no insurmountable problems. The public had no trouble making intelligent decisions during a crisis (re-electing Lincoln in 1864 and FDR in 1944). Gephardt seems to be saying that America's current population is the most dim-witted in the nation's history.

Does he have any idea the extent to which he's just insulted every voting-age citizen? I sincerely hope the voters do.

Posted by: Gary Herring at September 27, 2002 09:30 PM

As a long term union member, Dick Gephardt is always there when it comes to asking for campaign funds, but he's nowhere to be found when organized labor needs help.

I won't vote for Republicans, but if Gephardt is the nominee, I won't be voting Democrat either.

Maybe someone should let the Democrats know.

Posted by: Union Man at February 28, 2003 12:40 PM