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September 25, 2002
Gore 'Not Better Off Than 2 Years Ago'

(2002-09-25) -- In a fundraising speech in Santa Fe, New Mexico, today Al Gore asked, "Are you better off than you were two years ago?" He then answered his own question.

"I don't know about you, but I'm not better off," said the failed presidential candidate. "Two years ago things were sweet for me and Tipper. Back then, we had attendants, and pollsters and aides and spokesmen and pundits swarming around, hanging on my every word. Back then, Tipper was picking out china patterns for the new house we felt sure we were getting. Back then, we weren't burdened with the painful knowledge of how the electoral college works...No, my fellow Americans we are not better off today than we were two years ago. Can I get an 'Amen'?"

"It's a time in American history in which there is more change than ever before," Mr. Gore said. "Bad economy. Trouble everywhere you look. People are apprehensive and uneasy... And all that's just in the Gore household. Who knows what's happening out there among the little people?"

by Scott Ott | Donate | | Comments (5) | More Satire | Printer-Friendly
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That's cold. Real cold. Funny, but cold.

Posted by: Carey Gage at September 25, 2002 02:01 PM

Hilarious. You could scarcely find a better candidate for satire. Cold? No, cold is the way he attacks anyone unfortunate enough to be in the way of his lust for the Presidency.

Posted by: Rick at September 25, 2002 02:10 PM

Like Bush attacked McCain in New Hampshire?

Posted by: Lee at September 27, 2002 12:41 AM

Being stuck with presidential china patterns that he could never use for the rest of his life would serve this power-mad nipplehead just fine.

Posted by: Keaton at September 27, 2002 12:23 PM

I know I'm better off than I was two years ago. He's not the President!

Posted by: Ralph Gizzip at September 27, 2002 09:16 PM