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August 25, 2002
FCC Probes Pattern of News Show Hype

(2002-08-25) -- Insiders at the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) say the agency is probing claims that CNN, MSNBC and network news operations routinely hype interviews, reports and talk shows they know are losers, while top executives privately watch reruns on Nickelodeon, or go out to Red Lobster with the family.
"Much like the SEC investigation into corporate execs who made rosy projections while privately selling off millions in stock, this probe seeks to determine if news editors and producers know that some of their on-air material will be a waste of viewers' time," according to an unnamed source. "Clearly, for instance, MSNBC knew that the new Donahue show was a dog, but they continued to promote it like it was the next Bill O'Reilly or something. But that's just the tip of the iceberg."

Sources say they have thousands of hours of videotape proving that news events -- from hurricanes, to child abductions, to Larry King interviews -- are sold to unsuspecting viewers with lavish promises. Depositions from actual victimized viewers show a pattern of news promo excesses resulting in millions of hours of wasted TV time -- time valued in the billions of dollars.

"The net impact on the Gross Domestic Product (GDP) of this nation is almost incalculable," the source said. "But perhaps worse is the breach of trust between major media organizations and the American viewing public.

Off the record, TV news execs say they aren't culpable, since "viewers can always change the channel if they don't like it."

But FCC attorneys are preparing to make the case that teaser promos "hook" the viewers, who then continue to believe that the network will deliver on its promise of "must see TV". Yet when the hour is over, the viewer is left with a hollow feeling, and 60 wasted minutes of life he can never get back.

by Scott Ott | Donate | | Comments (1) | More Satire | Printer-Friendly
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A trippa di zianata - "your aunt's tripe"

Posted by: t-shirts-man at April 6, 2004 05:22 AM