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September 04, 2002
Democrats Copyright 2004 Slogan

(2002-09-04) -- The Democratic National Committee (DNC) has reportedly copyrighted the slogan "Ain't It Awful" for use in the 2004 elections.

"We needed a memorable phrase to capture the essence of what it means to be a Democrat in the new millennium," said DNC Chairman Terry McAuliffe. "With the stock market dipping, crisis in the Middle East, corporate fat cats lying about profits, schools in crisis, Britney on hiatus, millions without access to clean water or good food, pollution everywhere, a potential invasion of the sovereign peaceful Islamic republic of Iraq...we felt that 'Ain't It Awful' reflects how Joe Six-Pack, the average American, feels...or should feel."

"Too many Americans still feel good about the future of the economy and our nation. They think that American ingenuity and Divine Providence will work together to eventually solve the great problems that plague our society," McAuliffe said. "When people feel hopeful like that, they don't vote Democrat. Originally, we were going to use the slogan 'It's All Bad,' but a lot of young people still use the word bad to mean good. And we don't want to leave them with the wrong impression of our beliefs."

At the next Democratic convention, Al Gore give a rousing speech using the slogan to punctuate a long list of things that are wrong with America -- similar to the way Jesse Jackson used the phrase "Keep Hope Alive" at a previous convention. Convention delegates will join Gore in shouting "Ain't It Awful" after each depressing item.

In a related development, the makers of Prozac have signed on as sole sponsors of the 2004 Democratic convention. Banners and TV ads will include the Prozac logo, and free samples will be distributed to delegates.

by Scott Ott | Donate | | Comments (0) | More Satire | Printer-Friendly
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