(2002-09-05) -- French Prime Minister Jacques Chirac has petitioned the United Nations to make France a colony of Iraq.
"Our people long to be ruled by a strong, benevolent leader, like we were during the German occupation in the 1940s," Chirac said. "Saddam Hussein's people love him, and we yearn for his brand of firm, yet fair, statesmanship. I would be proud to be the governor of French Babylon.
Chirac also announced France's intention to remunerate the United States and Great Britain for all of the men, machines and munitions spent in the effort to liberate the country from the Nazis during WWII.
"We appreciate what the other Allies, with good intentions, did for us," Chirac said. "But as we look at the lifestyle of the Iraqi people, we realize we might have been better off if the Yanks and Brits had stayed home....Heil Hussein!"
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