(2002-09-08) -- Reports from inside the McDonald's corporation indicate the world's largest restaurant chain is desperately looking for ways to increase sales. Proposals include rehabbing older restaurants, and introducing new menu items for under $1 (U.S.). ScrappleFace has received a copy of notes from a brainstorming session among top-level McDonald's execs about how to increase McDonald's appeal with consumers. We reproduce the notes here, unedited:

• Charge less for the food.
  
• Make the food taste better
  
• Clean the restroom at least once per week.
  
• Get rid of 'that smell'
  
• Diction lessons for teenage associates.
  
• Start ugly rumors about roaches at BK, Wendy's, etc.
  
• McEscargot