(2005-04-30) — While he was campaigning for president, Sen. John F. Kerry, D-MA, often noted that he had a plan to save Social Security.
Today, in his boldest move yet, he threatened to unveil his plan unless President Bush backs away from his proposal to reform the taxpayer-funded retirement system.
Mr. Kerry, during his 2004 [...]

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(2005-04-29) — America’s premier talk radio host, Rush Limbaugh, may face new legal troubles today after the Florida Supreme Court voted 4-3 to reject an appeal to keep his personal medical records private.
An assistant state attorney announced that in addition to an ongoing investigation into accusations of so-called ‘doctor shopping’, Mr. Limbaugh now [...]

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(2005-04-29) — In the same week that scientists reported spotting an ‘extinct’ ivory-billed woodpecker in an Arkansas swamp, experts in Congress say they caught a fleeting glimpse of another creature thought to be extinct, the red-blooded taxcutter.
The taxcutter (Itzur munyus), whose numbers had been decimated by the predation of the lily-livered deficit hawk (Rino popularis) [...]

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(2005-04-28) — Republicans in the House and Senate today introduced bills which would redefine the word “majority” to mean “a group compelled to do the will of a smaller group.”
The change in definition is designed to bring the word back in line with current usage and practice, according to an unnamed Senate source.
The new definition [...]

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(2005-04-25) — After the success of a nationwide event, dubbed ‘Justice Sunday,’ many conservative churches are considering the addition of a ‘most holy telecast’ from a political action group to the weekly Sunday morning order of worship.
“When I saw Sen. Bill Frist on that giant screen talking about Democrat efforts to block conservative judicial nominees, [...]

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(2004-04-22) — Embattled U.N. Ambassador nominee John Bolton stunned the Senate Foreign Relations Committee today by withdrawing from consideration for the U.N. post in order to challenge Ohio Republican George Voinovich for his Senate seat in 2006.
“You must become the change you wish to see,” said Mr. Bolton, quoting his ‘tranquility mentor’, Mahatma Gandhi. “And [...]

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(2005-04-22) — Republican members of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee revealed today that they have stalled the confirmation of John Bolton as U.N. Ambassador to investigate claims by Jose Canseco that the former Major League Baseball slugger had injected Mr. Bolton with steroids on several occasions.
If Mr. Canseco’s allegations prove true, it would help to [...]

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