Officials say this is one of many billions of ‘selfies’ capture by the NSA’s recently-revealed Homeland Defense Selfie Database. Experts cautioned that Americans shouldn’t draw conclusions from isolated images, nor should people be concerned about violations of their right to privacy, because the government is protecting that. President Obama today said unspecified terror attacks may have been thwarted by a recently-revealed NSA program to track every photographic self-portrait by Americans shot with a handheld camera phone and uploaded to Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest or elsewhere on the internet.
The existence of the secret NSA-HDSD (Homeland Defense Selfie Database) emerged over the weekend, and the trove is said to contain hundreds of billions of arm’s-length shots, bathroom mirror shots, and even “inadvertent selfies” snapped by people trying to take pictures through car windows.
NSA officials would not comment on the program, nor confirm reports from an unnamed leaker that even ephemeral SnapChat pictures are swept up in its dragnet.
“Terrorists are at their core, narcissists,” Obama said. “They want to make a big name for themselves posthumously, and many of them can’t resist snapping a selfie standing in front of their intended targets…you know, throwing a gang sign or making the classic kissy face or pouty face.”
The White House assured the American public that the program is reviewed every 90 days by a FISA Court judge, and that selfies by innocent non-combatants are “disposed of in a timely manner for the most part.”

June 7th, 2013
Scott Ott 
President Obama preemptively praised an unnamed NBA player as a “civil rights trailblazer” when he learned the pro athlete will soon ‘come out’ as a Brony.”
President Obama embraced diversity as far back as last August when he hugged Charlotte Mayor Anthony Foxx, who he has now nominated as Transportation Secretary.”
Sen. Max Baucus told the HHS Secretary Wednesday he thinks Obamacare implementation is “a huge train wreck.” The White House released a statement noting that Sen. Baucus “looks just like late night TV star David Letterman.”
Downtown Boston remains desolate as mayor announces surrender to unnamed terrorists.
Chris Dodd, CEO of MPAA, explains the new ‘Check the Box’ movie rating system, demonstrating a stereotypical gesture that would be flagged to let parents better protect their children.
With Dylan Quick, the alleged Texas mass stabber, now in custody, Congress renews debate on “sensible knife-handle limits” that would prevent men like Quick from “getting a grip.”
Michelle Obama tells Chicagoans that she’s just like a 15-year-old girl who was gunned down recently in the city, so it’s time for Chicago to get serious about banning stolen handguns.
Some senators worry that a bill to screen for potential mass-shooting victims could lead to empty classrooms and theaters, or worse, the specter of armed security personnel or even armed, law-abiding citizens depriving people of their natural right to remain defenseless.
President Obama starts historic national conversation about “the often magnificent beauty of some of America’s most accomplished professional women.”



