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Pennsylvania Boosts Tax on Poor Math Students
by Scott Ott

(2004-07-04) -- The Pennsylvania legislature yesterday approved a $1 billion tax increase on people who don't understand basic math concepts, by approving the expansion of slot machine gambling in the Commonwealth. The measure was hailed by Democrat Gov. Ed Rendell as "the best way to transfer money from stupid working people and retirees to intelligent politicians."

"For far too long Pennsylvania's cash has been in the hands of people who probably should have flunked out of high school," said Mr. Rendell. "We have now freed up that cash for use by politicians, most of whom are so smart they would never drop a quarter in a slot machine."

Answering critics who say increased gambling will create a surge in social problems and crime, Mr. Rendell said, "My critics will be comforted to know that we'll now have more money for government programs to address those social issues and to rehabilitate the new wave of criminals."

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