by Scott Ott
(2005-09-19) -- China announced today that six-nation talks had succeeded in securing a pledge from North Korea to abandon its nuclear weapons program and its pathological dishonesty in exchange for security, cash and power.
In an 11th-hour breakthrough North Korea reaffirmed some of the promises it made during the administration of U.S. President Bill Clinton, which it immediately violated, adding however that "this time we really, really mean it."
White House spokesman Scott McClellan hailed the new compact, that includes a commitment from North Korea to accept international nuclear inspectors, similar to those it kicked out in 2002, and to adhere to the Nuclear Nonproliferation Treaty which it had previously pretended to do since 1994.
"Winning these commitments from North Korea is part of President Bush's overall effort to restore the Clinton-era atmosphere of trust on the Korean peninsula," said Mr. McClellan. "For our part, we'll continue to prop up Kim Jong-Il's decadent, oppressive dictatorship in exchange for his commitment to remain in power thanks to the legitimacy that this deal gives him."
Under the terms of the draft agreement, North Korea's official name -- the Democratic People's Republic of Korea (DPRK) -- will change to the more accurate Tyrannical Megalomaniac's Empire of Korea (TMEK), an honest acknowledgment of Kim Jong-Il's dictatorial cult-of-personality rule.
The draft treaty also opens the door for N. Korea to build a light-water nuclear reactor at some future date, and to engage in "harmless, white lies" as part of the U.N.-approved protocol of diplomatic deception practiced by all nations.
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