August 11, 2005
GOP Senate Hopeful Offers to 'Pinch Hit' for Hillary by Scott Ott (2005-08-10) -- Jeanine Pirro, the Republican Westchester County District Attorney who announced her candidacy for the U.S. Senate from New York yesterday, extended an olive branch to her likely 2006 opponent by offering to "pinch hit" for Sen. Hillary Clinton while the latter runs for the White House in 2008. "Since Hillary and I are both strong on defense, support abortion rights and want to expand federal funding for stem cell research," said Mrs. Pirro, "I thought I might just sit in for her in D.C. while she's out campaigning for the presidency. After all, the only major difference between us is that I'm not planning to be president in 2008" A spokesman for the New York State Republican party said he was excited that "we've found a Senate candidate who's so much like the popular Mrs. Clinton, but a bit easier on the eyes." "Our focus groups tell us that New York Republican voters want candidates who aren't so...you know...partisan and Republican-ish," the unnamed GOP operative said. "After all, we don't want to turn this Senate race into a clash of ideology and policy that would distract voters from the real issues of personality, physical appearance and speculation about the candidates' marital relationships." Donate | More Satire | Printer-Friendly | |
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