April 29, 2005
Ivory-Billed Woodpecker, Rare Taxcutter Sighted by Scott Ott (2005-04-29) -- In the same week that scientists reported spotting an 'extinct' ivory-billed woodpecker in an Arkansas swamp, experts in Congress say they caught a fleeting glimpse of another creature thought to be extinct, the red-blooded taxcutter. The taxcutter (Itzur munyus), whose numbers had been decimated by the predation of the lily-livered deficit hawk (Rino popularis) made an appearance during yesterday's Congressional approval of the 2006 federal budget. The new budget includes measures to preserve the natural habitat of the fluttering greenback (Hardurnis wagis) -- a dwindling species, formerly plentiful through North America, which can be seen today in great numbers only in a small district near the Potomac River. The red-blooded taxcutter sighting may bring only small comfort to conservationists, who also learned yesterday that the federal government plans to spend $10 million to preserve and protect the ivory-billed woodpecker. Donate | More Satire | Printer-Friendly | |
Donate to ScrappleFace
ScrappleFace
Editor's Picks |