April 08, 2005
Kerry Sends Legion of Lawyers to Monitor Pope Vote by Scott Ott (2005-04-08) -- U.S. Senator John F. Kerry, D-MA, America's leading Roman Catholic politician, today reassured fellow Catholics that he would dispatch a "legion of lawyers" to Vatican City to monitor the election of the new pope. "While I never let my faith interfere with my politics," said Mr. Kerry, "I have a duty to make sure that my church doesn't impose a litmus test -- religious or otherwise -- on the papal candidates. If the Cardinals were to elect another extreme, dogmatic conservative, we would know that all of the votes have not been counted." Mr. Kerry said his coalition of attorneys have already prepared a variety of challenges that they plan to file in the International Court of Justice at the Hague. "Catholics deserve a transparent process, open to all candidates regardless of ethnicity, creed or sexual orientation," Mr. Kerry added. "I'm not alone in this effort. A number of international Catholic politicians have privately said they're behind me." Donate | More Satire | Printer-Friendly | |
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