April 16, 2004
Bin Laden Offers Truce If Kerry Elected by Scott Ott (2004-04-16) -- An audiotape, purportedly from al Qaeda leader Usama bin Laden, offers to cease attacks on the United States, and her interests abroad, if Sen. John Forbes Kerry is elected president. "I'm offering a truce to the United States," said the voice on the tape, which unnamed experts have confirmed is probably Mr. bin Laden. "Elect the junior Senator from Massachusetts and I will treat that as tantamount to an end to hostilities against al Qaeda and her sister organizations." A spokesman for the Kerry presidential campaign said the truce offer "demonstrates that Mr. Kerry is the only candidate who can save America from the threat of terror." The unnamed source speculated that Mr. bin Laden would prefer to deal with Mr. Kerry because "they are both intellectuals...you know, masterminds." Donate | More Satire | Printer-Friendly | |
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