February 13, 2004
Fossil Footprints Prove Bush Served in Alabama by Scott Ott (2004-02-13) -- Archaeologists working on a dig near Dannelly Air National Guard Base have uncovered a fossilized set of footprints which reportedly support President George W. Bush's contention that he served his Guard duty in Alabama more than three decades ago. Radiocarbon dating and analysis of the geological stratum in which the fossils were found establish that the prints were made during the Vietnam era. "The angle and depth of the boot impressions match the gait and known weight of the young Mr. Bush at that time," said an unnamed archaeologist. "It was quite exciting at the dig site -- like finding the proverbial missing link." Together with previously discovered dental records and ancient documents, this latest evidence helps complete a picture that confirms what the President has said all along. Forensic specialists will now comb the sedimentary layers where the footprints were unearthed hoping to recover bits of fossilized hair, saliva or sloughed-off skin cells to subject to DNA analysis which would finally prove his Guard service conclusively. Donate | More Satire | Printer-Friendly | |
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