February 08, 2004
Kerry's Inevitability Index Hits 'Deanish' Level by Scott Ott (2004-02-08) -- Presidential contender John F. Kerry's Inevitability Index hovered around 90 percent, up 10 points after yesterday's victories over Dennis Kucinich and Al Sharpton in the Washington and Michigan caucuses. The Inevitably Index is an aggregate percentage derived from media reports which portray a candidate as the "frontrunner," "dominating," "unstoppable," or "the presumptive nominee." "A score of 90 on the Inevitability Index would put Kerry ahead of where both Clinton and Carter were at this point in their races," said an unnamed spokesman for the National Organization of Journalists Assessing Candidate Capability (NOJACC). "Everytime a news story portrays his campaign as a juggernaut , Kerry becomes that much more juggernautical. It's eerily Howard Deanish." Donate | More Satire | Printer-Friendly | |
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