by Scott Ott
(2004-01-07) -- President George Bush's new proposal to grant working privileges to illegal aliens in the United States will stem the loss of U.S. jobs to cheap manufacturers in other countries.
"This new policy brings 'offshore' home," said an unnamed senior administration official. "Offshore now means California, Texas and many other states where manufacturers will legally compete with wage levels in China, Mexico and elsewhere. Why send all that work away to be done by paupers, prisoners and slaves elsewhere when we have millions of undocumented workers who will gladly do it here?"
"The previous policy forced illegal aliens and their U.S. employers to be liars and cheats," said the official. "The new Bush policy restores dignity to victims of America's immigration laws. And Americans will rejoice to see that beloved label again on clothing and electronics -- 'Hecho en los Estados Unidos'."
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