(2003-09-09) -- Archeologists digging near the Potomac River report they have found a partial human skeleton from the Magnusregimentumian era, also called 'the era of big government.'

Scientists have dubbed the creature Homo Republicus.

"The cranium is rather large, but the spinal column doesn't seem strong enough to support it," said an unnamed archeologist working at the dig site. "Despite its impressive thinking capabilities, it apparently crawled along on its belly, often carrying opportunistic vermin on its back. Homo Republicus was involuntarily forced to support the parasitic vermin, because it wasn't strong enough to stand on its hind legs and shake them off."

Scientists say that during the past year they have found increasing numbers of relics from the era of big government.

"It's a renaissance of the period," the archeologist said. "Everywhere we look we're seeing increased interest in the Magnusregimentumian era."