I can't possibly be first, can I?

No, it's only an illusion ... I'm first!

....but cats always land on their feet...OFTEN right on top of the competition!

3rd time's a charm which means I"M first!

lemme see...hmmmmmm.....

Invest in cattle futures or the future of a mad cow?

I hear the book sales are not as 'hot' as the publisher wanted. Look for an 'incident' to boost sales. Maybe the death of a personal friend or another pet (maybe Bill?). I give em until Friday to think of something.

As far as I'm concerned, the only future a cow has is to end up on the grill.

MMmmmm....buuuuurrrgers.

SPIKE LAWSUITS EXPAND

Today, diminutive director Shelton Jackson 'Spike' Lee pressed forward with his lawsuit against Viacom Inc. over it's stated intent to rename it's TNN network Spike TV. Lee's lawyer Johnie Cochran stated that the new network, which Viacom labels the first network for men, is taking advantage of Lee's reputation.

"Spike has a reputation as a arrogant loud mouth who directs crappy movies, that reputation could be greatly damaged if his name is associated with a network that provides entertainment ... and if the reputation don't fit you must cease and desist", stated Cochran

Also pressing ahead with a lawsuit are director Spike Jonze, actor James Marsters, who played the vampire Spike on the recently cancelled WB program Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and the estates of late actor comedian Spike Milligan and novelty musician Spike Jones. All have collaborated to seek an injunction against Lee to prevent him from referring to himself as 'Spike'.

Speaking for the group, Marster's stated, "The name Spike has been associated with quick witted, intelligent people who provide entertainment to the public, we don't want it associated with a racist, dim witted ponce with a Napoleon complex .. let him call himself Surly or Shorty ... something more suited to his disposition and stature!".

Again, I know this doesn't follow the thread, but Sheldon desperately needs to be made fun of.

I have a great idea for a new reality tv show...Celibrety toe cleaning olympics.

Judge: The issue is what is associated with the name Spike. So I did the one thing all Court's recognize as conslusive, a Google search. Spike Lee was only associated with 2 sites of the first 5 pages of sites (one on page 2, one on page 5). Spike from Buffy was associated with nearly half of the sites. Case dismised!

How many copies has Babs and her fellow Hollyweird cronies bought to help out their dear, old friend? 10,000? 20,000? Soon enough we'll see the book where it belongs - in the discount bargain bin.

In correlated story, a rise in mad cow disease was noted. The vector seems to be purchasers of Hillary's book. Doctors at the Atlanta CDC are stumped, noting that it seems to affect liberal women who believe that tripe.

....mmmmmm.....buuuuurrgers....

Found a HUGE Associated Press type-o!!(in bold)

"WASHINGTON (AP) --" Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton's memoirs set a Barnes & Noble sales record for nonfiction books on its first day on store shelves, the company said Tuesday.

The company said the former first ** wench's White House memoirs sold more than 40,000 copies in the first 24 hours it was available, instantly making it an in-house best seller.

Can you believe that? Like she can tell---much less discern--truth!. Did Michael Moore write that article?

**"editorial license" used (:~}). I spared them a 2nd foible. ( they referred to her as "first lady)---how embarrassing for the AP..

Of course what won't make headlines is when all the books get returned within the next week.

----maybe the "non fiction" ( MUWAAHAAAA) book WILL make business headlines if Johnson & Johnson or Proctor & Gamble buy the rights to the recycled waste of paper in their marketing of
"I-loo" paper.

have a great idea for a new reality tv show...Celibrety toe cleaning olympics.

Posted by: Lynch Family Cat after partial lobotomy

It looks like the cat actually had a frontal-ectomy

johnh

the particular unfunny "LFC" you're referring to that made that post has been auditioning for the part of Scarecrow in a new version of The Wizard of Odds. Remember what the scarecrow "lacked"?.......so a "partial" labotomy?...that's like saying Bill & Hill Clinton are slightly dishonest!!

Cattle futures? If we are talking about Hillary, then we should be discusing , 'HOG Futures!'

Dammit. I get my best ideas while bike riding. We should have whipped the vast right wing conspiracy into action. I would have suggested every card-carrying member park at their local bookseller as close to the store as possible, with a pickup truck and a hibachi or small charcoal grill. When the store opens, buy a book, then set the grill on the end of the pickup and feed the book page by page to the fire. Make up signs that read: “Testing to see if lies burn better.” or “My ass is too good to use this book to wipe with.” A few well place calls to the local news outlets would get them there, before the police.

Oh well, maybe when shittee Willy puts his book out in Sept. 2004.

CMNF, In the immortal words of C. Montgomery Burns, "EXCELLANT!"

I hope it ends up with 'Earth in the Lurch' and 'It takes a Village' in Building #19. If I ever get a copy of any of these, it's gonna go right into a shredder, and from there to my cat's litterbox. He'll probably avoid it like the plague though.

I hope it ends up with 'Earth in the Lurch' and 'It takes a Village' in Building #19. If I ever get a copy of any of these, it's gonna go right into a shredder, and from there to my cat's litterbox. He'll probably avoid it like the plague though.

Sorry about that... My Web Browser froze on the "Processing..." page, and I thought it didn't get posted, so I did it again... Oops.

My wife just demanded I get a copy of Hillarys' Book from Amazon for her. This is a woman who has slightly more interest in motorcycle mechanics than she has in American Politics.

I am going to have to ask her who she thinks Hillary Clinton is because I am sure she's thinking of Maeve Binchy or somebody else.

I did ask her why she wanted it and she said she likes her books. Hmm, I suspect she may be a bit dissapointed when she finds its not the expected aga saga so I will end up reading it. It had better be good!

Jonah

Is Hitlery still receiving her taxpayer funded salary while on her 'book tour'? Isn't she supposed to be making things better for the people, Instead of herself?

I went to Wal Mart while on Darvocet (see posts describing broken fingers). I gravitated toward a copy of her book, and touched it. I haven't gotten warts yet, and I have another ten days before I have to see if I get swine flu.

Please forgive me, I right wingers! I was on meds and they say curiosity killed the cat, but I am not a cat...just a 'burned hand teaches best' constituent.

Cattle Futures might be a good investment right now, considering the Insane Bovine Ailment(Or is that Mad Cow Disease) scare in Canada.

From MSN.com about Hitlery's new book:
"Why you don't want to miss pages 441 & 471"

....which leaves me with 526 pages I DO want to miss. When I do the math--- I deduce it's better to invest your money in the Yugo or maybe jelly shoes.

>>>From MSN.com about Hitlery's new book:
"Why you don't want to miss pages 441 & 471"

....which leaves me with 526 pages I DO want to miss. When I do the math--- I deduce it's better to invest your money in the Yugo or maybe jelly shoes.

Posted by: U2B LFC on Wallstreet on June 13, 2003 12:48 PM

LFCat: You should have asked them, "How much for just those two pages?"

Susan Serin-D I'd have asked that if the toilet tissue had run out and I was closer to the bookstore than the grocery store!.

I'd be SOO tempted to go into a Barnes & Noble or Borders and ask that question though? Wouldn't that by funny?? The store clerks would probably laugh (unless they were "students" of Hitlery). How about you try it at a store in YOUR hood and I do in mine and we exchange findings!! HA