May 19, 2003
Santorum Opposes Calling Chimps 'Homo'
(2003-05-19) -- Despite a scientist's claim that genetic similarities should place chimpanzees in the same taxonomic genus as humans, U.S. Sen. Rick Santorum, R-PA, will introduce a bill this week making it illegal to call a chimp 'Homo'. Buy "Axis of Weasels," the first book by Scott Ott. $12.95 + S&H; Comments
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MEEEEEEEE Posted by: Lynch Family Cat at May 19, 2003 11:25 PMOOOOWWWWWW! Posted by: Lynch Family Cat at May 19, 2003 11:25 PMthe early bird gets the worm...the early cat gets the bird and hopefully the bird didn't have worms. this has nothing to do with the forum but neither does HOODY DOO!! Posted by: Lynch Family Cat at May 19, 2003 11:27 PMDuke of New York, A Number 1! Posted by: Susan Serin-Done, First at May 19, 2003 11:27 PMD#*M IT CAT! I have three, and they ALWATS beat me! Posted by: Susan Serin-Done, Loser! at May 19, 2003 11:29 PMThey used to call white milk Homo, and we make them stop that two! Posted by: Bambi Clone at May 19, 2003 11:33 PMWhen some dumb baboon gets up before Congress and demands (in English) equal rights. Iím gonna SHOT it. The next thing you know itís going to be demanding reparation for being kept in cages, and cared for all these years. I can see it now, The Hairy Rainbow Coalition. There goes the neighborhood. Posted by: Mike S at May 19, 2003 11:36 PMSusan Serin-D, Cat Woman! *rubbing along legs* ( like your 3 do when they're schmoozing)....prrrrr prrrrr prrrr... PLEASE...not the spray bottle...PLEASE.....! Humanly speaking: I guess as 1st poster I got to you like my cat does me when he thinks I should be up at 5:00 a.m. ( and I went to bed at 2!!!) and meows..... OF course he knows to have at least some chance of escape he sits on the kitchen floor right across from the open bedroom door. (103 yr. old small house...wierd layout)...I sleep with the water spray bottle next to the bed if not ON it! Posted by: Lynch Family Cat at May 19, 2003 11:44 PMMike S----in a group pic of the Hairy Rainbow Coalition (hee hee hee) would the Revuuuruunnd Jesse Jackson really stand out that much??? As far as a "dumb baboon" standing up in front of congress. I've got a list of "been there's done that".....nuff said. Posted by: Lynch Family Cat at May 19, 2003 11:48 PMya'll be gettin' strange, here... the hairs be goin' up the back of me neck... I paraphrase what the Great Bill O'Reilly said at the top of his hour tonite: "Why would anyone attacking Santorum / Bill Bennett want their kids to do other than what they're simply saying -- be clean, be decent, and cut the crap?" ummmm... we're under attack, ya'll... Posted by: Geeez at May 19, 2003 11:48 PMLynch Family Cat, Let me weave this story into the thread, the connection being, the Iraqi prisoners are being kept in cages like the chimps! Now with that unpleasantness behind us: Following the story that the Iraqi prisoners are being played Metallica music, the Sesame Street theme, and Barney's, I LUV YOU song, to make them'CRACK', they have encountered some 'Die Hards'! After consultation with Susan Serin-Done, noted Clinical Psycopath, they are trying a few new means that seem to be working. One is showing, 'The KISS'! That is the one of Al Gore and wife Tipper filmed during his campaign run. The second one is a short clip of a drunken Michael Moore eating ribs, at an all-u-can-eat buffet, after which he goes for a swim, after he has stripped down to a 'speedo', (supplied by Ringling Brothers Circus)! AND third, and possibly most frightening of all, is a film/nightmare sequence, which depicts the 'Virgins' that await homicide bombers, as Helen Thomas, Greta Van Sustern, Susan Esteridge, Ellen Ratner, Chelsea Clinton, Amy Carter, and Hillary Clinton (NO virgin, but certainly Scary)! Posted by: Susan Serin-Done, Jayson Blair Wannabe at May 20, 2003 12:06 AMYep... Somebody oughta tell this particular United States Senator that the right to free speech is strictly limited to former barmaids, bartenders, waiters, waitresses and other positions-yet-to-be-filled-by (fill in the blank)... Like, how dare he or something or other... not like he was elected for his brain or anything... Posted by: Geeez at May 20, 2003 12:11 AMLFCat: I forgive easy, if I didn't my Cats would have been dead LONG AGO! Just kidding, but mine like me to get up early too, and they know what works! Dogs get a bad rap as, "Butt sniffers", but anyone who has more than one Cat knows, it's not just a Dog thing! The thing I like most is buying Cat litter in 55 gallon drums. My trash man loves it too! I feed them, Love them, buy them toys, keep their Cat box clean, and in return they let me live here! What more could I ask for? Sue-You-(or somebody else convenient): that's kind of where the demeaucrats hope we'll keep our heads until after the next election... Posted by: Geeez at May 20, 2003 12:22 AMSusan Serin-D--J.B. Wanna Be---- ----now in order to further your wanna be venture...I believe you'll have to smoke a cigar...( Time Mag cover)... your form of recommended theraphy was amusing to say the least. That Gore-eee kiss alone would be enough to break me! arrrrggghhhhh....oxygen tank, please. Michael Moores scenario enough to scare me to death! YIIIIIIIKES.... I believe the idea is an excellent one. You do know how Bill and Hill met, right? both dating the same girl...that's what I heard anyway. Posted by: Lynch Family Cat at May 20, 2003 12:24 AM****Susan Serin-D, JB Wanna Be ---CORRECTION: that would be THERAPY...not THERAPHY. I have all my teeth and no overbite(:~}) ****** Humanly speaking: It is noble of kitties to let YOU live in THEIR house. My Satchmo cat lets it be known, however that the house is "HIS....all HIS"...if his very long hair EVERY-flippin'-where is any indication. back to ON TOPIC: Momma's don't let your chimps grow up to be homo's....or is that homers?.....homies? Posted by: Lynch Family Cat at May 20, 2003 12:33 AMthat's quite nasty, to say the least, (with fleas, yet, even...!) stay on topic: Sen Rick speaks hiz mind, and what does he get in return? More psycho-babble left-coast speak, and who will stand up for the logical conclusions of his logical conclusions? ummmm... er... i'm still waiting... prrrrrr...
This just in from News Max. 1. Hillary Can't Drive When Mrs. Hillary Rodham Clinton recently appeared at a Capitol Hill showcase of General Motors' hydrogen-fueled prototype, she froze when asked to take the new minivan for a test drive. Did she have visions of driving over Bill, or perhaps a Capitol Hill police officer? U.S. News reports that it seemed odd that Hillary would pass up some environmentally correct TV exposure. Then, the real reason: GM Veep Beth Lowery revealed to the magazine the truth: The former first lady fessed up that it's been at least seven years since she last drove and this wasn't the time to start. But the recent incident raised another question: If Hillary ever goes back to private life, will she ever be able to adjust without the limousines and private jets? Maybe they should have gotten a chimp to drive her around. Posted by: Mike S at May 20, 2003 12:37 AM***Mike S**** that's exactly why I said in an earlier post that calling her Broom Hill(da) wasn't so far fetched!.... Remember she's concerned for the environment---thus she lets someone else drive/fly gas guzzling limo's and private jets. Posted by: Lynch Family Cat at May 20, 2003 12:47 AM***Mike S**** that's exactly why I said in an earlier post that calling her Broom Hill(da) wasn't so far fetched!.... Remember she's concerned for the environment---thus she lets someone else drive/fly gas guzzling limo's and private jets. Posted by: Lynch Family Cat at May 20, 2003 12:47 AM***Mike S**** that's exactly why I said in an earlier post that calling her Broom Hill(da) wasn't so far fetched!.... Remember she's concerned for the environment---thus she lets someone else drive/fly gas guzzling limo's and private jets. Posted by: Lynch Family Cat at May 20, 2003 12:47 AM****oops....stuttering AGAIN....its the puter!! It's the blog.....it's my walmart meow mix....mixed with???? Posted by: Lynch Family Cat at May 20, 2003 12:48 AMLynch Family Cat, LFC, I'm keepin' you WELL away from Larry Katz, lest you lead him astray... 'course, he's fixed, and he's an in-house-kinda-dude, so forget that 'stray' thang.... Posted by: Geeez at May 20, 2003 01:01 AMKitty! High five on the claws. As one of the sentient fur bearers on this board, I had to do a double take. I say Hairy Rainbow Coalition and I thought it was Hillary Rodham Clinton...then I realized it was one and the same...the woman could pass for a critter if she let her hair go, didn't wax and didn't go in for the biweekly claw and fang trims. She and Chelsea, that is...maybe Monica goes too... Posted by: Lynch Family Dog at May 20, 2003 01:27 AMDOOOOGGGGG! High paw it! You said: "woman could pass for a critter if she let her hair go, didn't wax and didn't go in for the biweekly claw and fang trims." ( LMOBO-- 1st "o" for onery) ......critter....equal to female dog---rhymes with the action of ball thrown at a baseball game??.......got it? ***{Can't spell it out it for it will be Otted out!.}******* **** as for Hill's weeklies:....and don't forget the flea dip...or is that the sunscreen?...or does she make ME SCREAM!... *****************Mike S************** Yes! I'm back at my coveted 27th place in line - a place I fondly remember from my earlier posts. You can say what ever you want down here,because no one reads down this far. Ironic,that I don't have anything to say. Oh, what I wouldn't give, for my usual 13th spot again..... Posted by: Harden Stuhl at May 20, 2003 02:51 AM*** I can SEEEEE you, Dr Stuhl! Posted by: 6 + 1 Investigative Group at May 20, 2003 03:09 AMThis is another pan by the man to keep the brother down. As you all know, Chimpanzees come from Africa, so they are african americans that are obviolsuly being discriminated against by the racist, right wing republican white man. This is another racist tactic by the repiblican to keep the brother down. Of course we want reparations for these brothers, and since they can't get their own bank accounts, those reparations can be forward to the Rev Jesse Jackson, Operation Push Chips. I will personally oversee these funds to make sure they help bring the brother out of poverty and aloow him to compete with the white man. Rev Jesses Jackson Posted by: Rev. Jesse Jackson at May 20, 2003 07:55 AMIf the ever so tolerant Sen. Santorum would watch a group of Bonobos for a few hours, it would shock him right out from under his toupe. I got your homo-erect-us right here! Posted by: Goober Shivers at May 20, 2003 09:23 AMRev. Jackson: Your phrase: "racist, right wing republican white man." is rife with redundancy. There is no need to say racist since they all mean exactly the same thing. And since they are all perjorative terms with a negative connotation, when you combine them you end up with something positive: racist (neg) * right-wing (neg) = racist right-wing(pos) racist right-wing(pos)* republican (neg) = racist right-wing republican (neg) racist right-wing republican (neg)* white man (neg) = racist right-wing republican white man(positive) Although I must admit that some experts would say that "white man" is actually two negative terms: white + man, which would make the entire phrase negative again. Must find alcohol... Posted by: Cassandra at May 20, 2003 10:42 AMCass Don't get alcohol yet, someone was knocking me for drinking before noon, and I'm russian, for crying out loud. God knows, how they'll villify you for your loose ways ;) LPB Posted by: logicpenaltybox at May 20, 2003 12:29 PMI like Cheese Posted by: kng at May 20, 2003 01:19 PM"The (Bonobo) bands are generally female dominated and they use sex to defuse tense situations and keep order." ...and this would make them different from Homo sapiens how??? ...and this would make them different from Homo sapiens how??? I just want to make it clear to all of you that it's OK for Pan Trogolossandra to say this since she is a member of an oppressed gender group that has been ground beneath the heel of male chauvinism for thousands of years. If any of you say this, you are scummy sexist pigs. I am Woman (anthem of the National Org. of Wildebeests) Posted by: Cassandra at May 20, 2003 02:04 PMSANTORUM REMARKS DRAW FIRE Members of the Simian-American Justice Coalition took offense to remarks by Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum who was quoted as saying "If a chimp is a Homo," said the Senator, "Then it's only a matter of time before someone starts lobbying to get health insurance for same-genus domestic partners." Coalition spokesperson Doctor Zaius stated "Comparing chimps to homosexuals is very offensive to Simian-Americans and shows a small minded bigotry on the part of the senator." Dr. Zaius concluded his remarks by flinging his own feces at a picture of Santorum. "Cheeta Files Class-Action Suit" SRG: LFC, Latest is the fur issue from france...I know Hitlery wants to go blond and have it look natural, and she started to pet me and show the groomer how she wanted her hair done...and that my shade was just right, yadda yadda yadda. I moved away from her and just sat right down. I had just been done, had the ribbon on my neck, giving kisses until SHE came along. Monica is going for the Skunk/Bride of Frankenstein Elvira look. Chelsea favors a poodle clip with a hint of pink. I was scratching at the door to get out. It took doggy treats and much sitting by my family. I tagged poor Jessie everywhere she went. She didn't mind though... Posted by: Lynch Family dog at May 20, 2003 09:28 PMOkay Dog. I think your malady is catching or it was the power of suggestion, as I read 'Chelsea' in SRG's post and it was really 'Cheetah'. Chelsea will bepaid anything BUT peanuts. The young man that she is dating is supposedly marrying beneath him if he and Chelsea end up at the altar. Monkey... the other- other- other- white meat. I guess that makes monkeys racist too. Don't eat it unless it has a face, or you can draw one on it. Posted by: Fr Guido Sarducci at May 20, 2003 09:51 PM***Dog...buddy! I wondered where you went. I was looking for you to see if you wanted to have some more laughs at hamsters expense. ( jamming his wheel and watching those litle feet furiously going nowhere---not much different as when the wheel turns, come to think of it.) hee heee hee I'm sorry you had such an unpleasant experience with those 3 Ca-huma-she-nines!!.. Didn't they take you back for a shampoo after Hitlery's talons made contact with your fur?.. I'm seeing Monica ( and I'm frightened) with that Elvira look. PERFECT. Skunk of a broad anyway. Pink Poodle also fits Chelsea. ( Poor girl....I feel for her being held captive for 18 years by the 2-same-Shames, Bill & Hill!) Bet ya heard alot of growling going on between the Ca-huma-she-nines, huh? Hitlery LIKES the word "nine" sounds like no in Nazese and is useful when voting for anything decent and conservative and of GW. May need to switch groomers. Those 3 there are bad for business. Ya sure look and smell good though, Dog. And if you have nightmares tonite about your day you can join me on Jessies bed...She never minds us sleeping up there anyway. Specially when we're all cleaned up. Posted by: Lynch Family Cat at May 20, 2003 10:40 PMWhoooooaaaaaaaaa!!! Well I'll be a monkey's uncle. Posted by: Stoner at May 21, 2003 02:16 AMStoner, And its: Human, the other other white meat. |
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Bush Applauds Arafat's 'New Attitude'
'Fahrenheit 9/11' Sequel to Feature Jar Jar Cameo Coroner: Arafat Died of Tilex Poisoning Arafat May Soon Sign Death Certificate Specter Backs Ashcroft for Next Supreme Court Opening NJ Gov. McGreevey Leaves Office with Mandate Specter Backs Partial-Burial Abortion for Arafat Specter Retracts Ill-Conceived Abortion Remarks Bush Swats Kofi Annan with Rolled Newspaper Arafat Burial Plans Done in Time for Final Death P. Diddy Survives 'Vote or Die' Attempt Kerry Plan: White House Run Hid True Ambition Bush Declares End of Major Campaign Operations Al Gore Concedes to Winner of Popular Vote Early Numbers Show Nearly 100 Percent Exit Polls Kerry Votes for Bush, Before Voting Against Him Exit Polls Show 100 Percent Turnout, All for Bush Kerry: GOP Plans to Suppress Lawyer Turnout Supreme Court Orders Polling Halt, Names Bush Winner Bin Laden Signs Sit-Com Deal with CBS Kerry: Bush Outsourced Bin Laden Video Production Ashcroft: FBI Halliburton Probe Just 'Halloween Prank' Battleground Poll Shows Bush 51, Springsteen 49 Kerry: Americans Deserve Arafat-Quality Healthcare Kerry Concession Speech Takes High Road |