Too bad he didn't amputate his whole head. He hasn't used it for years!

In attaching the prosthetic nose, comments were made to the effect that it bore an uncanny resemblence to Pinocchio's and time will tell if it too, will stretch when discussing legislation and being accountable to constiutents.

The removal of that honker would be an improvement. His removal from congress would be a blessing.

Word has it that the West Side Pigeons have it and are using it for a condo coup. As one of them is a chain smoker, it's not likely that waxman will want it back.

Perhaps Michael Jackson would be willing to donate one of his?

OH MAN!!....THEY DID IT!!!!!!...on the page about "probe of Cheney's no bid VP deal"***

*****{Jericho posted: "... a certain group of bored French artillery officers tired of shelling Egyptian cities decided to train their cannon on the Sphinx? The famed statue has been missing its nose ever sense Napoleon's illfated endeaver in Egypt."
***************
Then upon realization of the location of the ancient artificact I posted:

"OH MY GOSH!!!!

The missing Sphinx nose????....Henry Waxman's got it! He's wearing it!!!

They could auction that thing off at Sothebys and do some serious Dem. fund raising! SHHHHHH****
************
It appears the dems must be visiting ScrappleFace and they read my post and NOW they ARE auctioning it off at Sothebys for Dem Fund raising!!!.....Maybe THEY"RE the ones who ransacked that Iraqi museum and the next thing ya know we'll see them on "Antique Road Show" and then off to Sothebys
It may be confusing for the "appraisers" on the show. They'll be trying to determine the value of the antiquated Dems (and not the artificacts) and find NONE are "genuine"

****WE"RE NOT DONE YET---------!!!!

and because of THIS event ( following the announcement Bush would be skydiving into his next news conference:

****** "to which Henry Waxman responded with an angry flaring of his nostrils preventing 4 skydiving secret servicemen from landing safely on the ground. Their feet last seen dangling somewhere over Waxman's moustache....."
***********

WELL-----I sure hope they got those 4 secret service guys out of that schnozola before they lanced it.

I say it's a buy one get one deal for the dems. A blatant publicity stunt to raise money for the dizzy dems!!.... I smell conspiracy here! Shoot...with that schnoz...Waxman coulda smelled those WMD's in Iraq. This all just really STINKS!

Im left wondering if these 'monkeys' where actualy french human beings. Its easy to mistake a monkey for an inteligent human being frenchman after all.

Could it been that Frenchman of scrappleface fame is actualy sitting in a cage somewhere?

One can only hope.

The difficulty with him removing his nose, was that it, along with rest of his was burried firmly in his rectum. It took 3 hours and the entire staff of Congressional pages to remove it. The resounding POP shattered windows all over DC.

Unfortunately, wax man was fitted with a wax prosthesis, which continuously melts due to the hot air emanating from his pie hole, resulting in a severe case of pre-nasal drip.

One that fits nicely under a sheet, no doubt

Okay. Like a good little Californian who is voting absentee due to military committtments, I trotted over to the link and did the search on old Nostrils.

While overall I think he is definately TRYING, I did find some things that I take issue with: No1: His stance on retirement and pay in major corporations and the post office. However, why hasn't there been an investigation into the Golden Parachute of the benefits of being in Congress?

No2: His stance on smallpox...I don't think it will extend to the servicemembers who were vaccinated, and once that is brought to his attention, of he sniffs it out, whichever comes first, that legislation will be tabled.

No3: His silliness over the Abraham Lincoln Speech.
Ahem. Despite the fact that We in the Military overall disliked Clinton, we did not dis him or his office, even when we were told if we exercised our first amendment rights to free speech, it was to be considered an act of treason. Bush has never done that. Despite the fact the military upholds and defends the constitution. As the CIC or POTUS, as he is affectionately known, he SHOULD inspect the troops and sailors under HIS command. Clinton did, and I can assure you it was NOT to thank us. It was a photo op and political grandstanding...and believe me, he didn't do it because he liked the military or he was grateful, he did it because it made him look good.

So where is the audit and impropriety from the Dems for that? I ask you.

I have a theory about his mustache: It is his nostril hair. The implant had a supply of Rogaine.

They should replace it with a nose that administers an electric shock whenever he makes an unwarranted attack on a Republican (doesn't need to do it when he attacks Dems, it never happens!). That way, he'd be real quiet...

***It took 3 hours and the entire staff of Congressional pages to remove it. The resounding POP shattered windows all over DC.***

What? I'll believe this when I see it. I'm positive it would take major surgery to correct this man's cranial-rectal inversion.

Mrs. Waxman said that she loves kissing Henry much more with his new prosthesis. His old nose was so big , kissing him was like driving into a two car garage.

Are you sure the article was correct?? His nose SPITES his face. Cutting off his nose would be to UN-SPITE his face.

After the surgery, Waxman was eager to return to the work. He joined several other congressmen on a government funded fact finding trip to Aruba.

"We are here to find out why this vacation spot is so popular. The lessons we learn here will be taken back to our respective districts so we can improve the tourism industry in America" stated Waxman at an impromptu press conference held at The Mill Resort during Happy Hour.

Though on a fact finding mission, politics was never far from Waxman's mind.

"We will hold hearings when I return to determine if tax payer money was wasted by President Bush for that shameless publicity stunt." stated Waxmen as he waited for his turn in the pool side limbo contest.

Common causes of Nostrilitis Humungous are.
Jamming fingers up nose past third knuckle,

Constantly placing nose into everything that you know nothing about, then trying to remove with crowbar.

Most common among dimocrats, trying to de-kester cranium by crawling out through nose.

In rare cases like waxmans it is probably caused by all three.

It is possible that Dr. DDS. PHD. (Mostly BS) Microsoft Certified Harden Stuhl can come up with a cure if he receives enough of our money in the form of government grants

Dude...Frodo DOES live....

Mike S.,

Thank you for calling me in on this consultation. I actually have assisted on procedures treating cases like Congressman Henry Waxman. I find that many patients like Mr. Waxman actually suffer from a rare form of [nasutus ñ probiscus - amplus - flareum ñ adiunctus]. Please allow me to break this into a simpler laymanís term for the Scrapplers, who successfully avoided Latin in school, [ putting ñ your large -satirical nose ñ where it doesnít belong].

Some of the symptoms include the following:
ï Fever over 101 degrees Fahrenheit
ï Greenish-yellow or bloody colored nasal discharge
ï Nasal congestion with facial pain or pain in the upper teeth that does not improve over 7 days
ï A feeling of pressure inside the head
ï Eye pain, blurred vision, or changes in vision
ï Being really ugly
ï Cheek or upper jaw pain
ï Sudden repeated cause of other peoples vomiting
ï Rapid mental status changes (agitation, confusion,
irritability, delirium)
ï Increased pulse and breathing rate
ï Lethargy
ï Being a Member of the Democratic party
ï Loss of consciousness
ï Swelling around the eyes, nose, cheeks, and forehead
ï Liberal Propensity towards diss-association (sense or walking around in a dream like state) [part; cease or break association with sense or reason]
ï Irregular urina [Urine]

Quite often the procedure of curing the afflicted patient requires the removing of Gelatinous material resulting from colloid degeneration in diseased tissue of the sinus cavity. Or simply put, ìKnock the snott out of the fatheadî.

I prefer to use a high-velocity centrifuge that can be used in the separation of colloidal or submicroscopic particles. Or the heel of my double laced fatigue boot.

Yours in Consultation,

Dr. Harden Stuhl
Dr. DDS. PHD. (Mostly BS) Microsoft Certified

Thank you for the consultation Dr. Sthul.

Through my Marine training I should be qualified to administer the "removing of Gelatinous material resulting from colloid degeneration in diseased tissue of the sinus cavity." A procedure that should be enjoyed, by at least me.

Thank you again.
If there is anything I can do for you, or anything that you would like absolutely, positively destroyed over night feel free to give me a call. My friends and I are very good at that.

Sorry about the misspelling of your name Dr. Stuhl.
It was a typo; my fingers are itching to double up and get to work.

S-3D Viking operational cost $7.00 more an hour than military transport helicopter

S-3D FLY'S FASTER THAN A HELICOPTER
Thank you President Bush for saving the tax payers a few bucks, something the Liberal democrats covenantally left out

once again proof of liberal fraud

Dr. Harden Stuhl and Mike S....
Ya think we could get you 2 a show together on FOX AND Clear Channel radio stations??? Y'all are a MESS!....highly enjoyable mess! (:~})

Here's the SCAAAAAREEEY part.---- ( Dr. (mostly BS) Stuhl probably knows this) "they" say our ears and nose continue to grow throughout our life....( while eyes stay the same).... Henry Waxmondo Schnazola has plenty MORE years to GROW!.

Henry is one of Martha Stewart's favorite customers since he exclusively buys her brand of 300 count "handkerchiefs" ( flat not fitted).

Why thank you L.F. Cat,
I, and the good, kind, benevolent, Dr. Stuhl are honored by your praise. I must give credit where credit is due. While I can recognize a serious problem, it is only the good Dr. Stuhl that is qualified to do a proper accurate diagnosis, and write prescriptions. Under the good Dr. Stuhls tutelage I hope to one day soon earn my BS degree. Until then I can only administer the treatment that the brilliant Dr. Stuhl prescribes. I have become quit adapt at making sure the victÖ patient gets the required dose, and a little more just for good measure.
As for your offer of a spot on Fox, I havenít had a chance to talk it over with the good Dr.
How's that for a load of c**p Doc?

P.S. The good Dr. Harden Stuhl has my utmost respect.

*****Mike S ( and the good Dr. Stuhl)
What if we called your show "Mr.Pinky & Dr. Brain" ? It's close to copyright infringement but is Pinky and the Brain even in existence anymore?

Then there could be a "left" show which could have your nemesis's (sp?)...."Stinky and the Pain" ( Waxman and Daschle)

Mike S. and Lynch Family Cat(titude),

I apologize for taking so long to answer my page. I was in the Scrappleface intensive trauma unit helping with a critical code patient. This patient suffered from a nasty case of [nasutus ñ probiscus - amplus - flareum ñ adiunctus].

This beleaguered individual was in such a distraught condition mentally and having no hope in a conservative approach to rationale, he attempted to commit suicide by blogging profusely and picking his nose so abusively, his head actually caved in. Fortunately we were able to save his fingers. Unfortunately, we were unable to remove his ìWaxmanî like probiscus. If it wasnít for the fine medical staff here at Scrappleface, he would never have stood a chance.

He will recover albeit; but carrying the marks of this crippling disease upon the very face of his own political impropriety.

Scrappleface is a now a healthy conservative, hospice for the recovering patients of liberal degenerative diseases. Nasutus ñ probiscus - amplus - flareum ñ adiunctus being one of the worst.

Your support is for a very worthy cause. I appreciate all of your hard work. Again, I canít tell you how much Scott and all of your help has made a difference. So I wonít. If Fox calls I would only be too happy to assist in getting the word out.

Yours Once Again in Consultation,

Dr. Harden Stuhl
Dr. DDS. PHD. (Mostly BS) Microsoft Certified

Mike S. and Dr. Stuhl:
If there is anything I can do to help out, PLEASE call me. I will try to fit Waxman in my next boot camp! Although I am NOT a Doctor, I certainly can dish out my own special form of 'medicine'!

Lynch Family Cat said:
Here's the SCAAAAAREEEY part.---- ( Dr. (mostly BS) Stuhl probably knows this) "they" say our ears and nose continue to grow throughout our life....( while eyes stay the same)....

Susan says:
If this is true, Joe Namath's ears will soon 'take over' his face.

YIKES!!!!!>>>Susan---I'm glad I have some work to do before entering Jammie Land!! (otherwise nightmares!)

Not just ears!----If I remember correctly ( I haven't seen him in awhile)---the Bruthuh''s got a 2 car set o' nostrils, too!...

Like Mr. Potato head without the potato!!

Dear Dr. Harden Stuhl
Dr. DDS. PHD. (Mostly BS) Microsoft Certified ---

.....This is just so much more fun ( procrastinating) than doing the stuff I have to do to get ready to drive a couple hr's North to Greeley, CO ( a.k.a the place where all the cows at the stockyards poop at the same time!)

If I have perceived correctly, Dr. Stuhl, you spent the evening doing a reverse labotomy on Frenchman???....Bambi????...Or was Frenchie hiding in one of Waxmans' nostrils (isn't Osama hiding in a cave??...hmmmmm....maybe a pre-emptive strike on Waxmans schnoz??)...
....anyhoo.....

FOX is a dicotomy of sorts. They'v got great news programming but everything else is PATHETIC....You could bring some "redemption" to their programming.

IF FOX does call you....put in a good word for me. I could do the voice over for the intro, promo's, etc., for your show.

Furthermore, if the N.P.A.F.A procedure you performed tonite wasn't a complete success....at least SGT. Eleven Bravo could take over where you left off.
*****as for your post.....I'll now go back to
R-ingOTFLMBO!!!!!!

Hello,

You have reached the Clinical Offices of Dr. Harden Stuhl. He is unavailable to take your message now.

He is off catching some well deserved ZZZZZís. You will be able to catch him at some time in the not too distant future.

As always he is concerned for your political welfare and especially the liberal degenerative diseases often associated with the Democratic Party.

If this is an actual emergency please contact the closest political trauma center near you.

Please leave your message after the beep. If you wish to speak to an operator you probably have DSL.

If you have dialup you wonít be able to. In either case dial O.

Thank you for Calling.

Lynch Family Cat(titude),

PS. Have a safe trip, avoid the large piles of methane suppository.

SPELLCHECKER: "dicHotomy"

Well, ole Nostrils sense of smell is off. Numbed, as it were by sticking it in other people's business and mistaking the smell of leadership for a load of photo op BS.

As the Lynch Family Dog, I know you can't teach an old dog new tricks, and I had such high hopes for his recovery. I will sit on his ankles while Da Cat (who is way kewl)and the Good Doctor Stuhl and our military friends cure him of his excessive snot.

That MIGHT improve his sense of smell. However...I don't think the sense of smell will improve unless the therapy prescribed by the good doc and co in repeated as often as needed. Then we can condition him to support Republicans just by the sound of a body slamming into a wall. Or the sound of a nasal irrigation.

****LF Dog...HEY! Haven't visited in awhile!
"Well, ole Nostrils sense of smell is off. Numbed, as it were

by sticking it in other people's business......"

****** and imagine how many people and businesses could get stuck in IT(nose)??

I'm with ya dog....we'll do what we need to "exorcise" our "RIGHTS" with WacksMan! He'll thank us all later!....I CAN SEE I CAN SEE!!

***NOTE OF CAUTION****
when posting your name: be VERY careful not to again post Lunch Family Dog !

We've got Hannibal Lechter and LilKimIl prowling around ScrappleFace and they're sounding mighty hungry for house pets!

Dr. Stuhl,
I have just received a request from a gentleman from India (of English decent) expressing his desire to join your medical staff. He claims to be a proctologist, and inventor of the pneumatic powered cranial extraction tool. A rather conservative gentleman named Dr. Makim Ben Dover.
Informed him of our desire to try and save as many dimocrates from methane intoxication as possible, and get them on the road to Republican recovery as soon as possible.
I believe he will be a welcome asset to the staff that you are assembling.
I also believe that Sgt. ElevenBravo will be a welcome addition. What he lacks in medical knowledge, he more than makes up for in enthusiasm. With all the prescriptions that you will surely be writing in the coming months I could use the help.
Sincerely Mike S. (Soon to have my BS)

Dr. Stuhl, an associate of mine, also of Indian heritage, Dr. Ghodda Ghetta Feele, amateur gynecologist, has agreed to assist in the procedure, for a fee(l).

News Flash Hollywood
Inside sources revealed today that Michael Mooreís next film will be a monster movie.
"The Booger that ate Washington".
Staring Henry Waxman.

Someone ought to tell Waxman that some prominent Dems were on board the USS A. Lincoln...while they may not have flown out, Gary Locke, Patty Murray and a couple of others were on board, and it cost money to get them out there and back as well...come to think of it, when my cousin was going to Annapolis, he was on a shakedown cruise.

They stopped in Monterey, CA and sent an amphibious craft to pick up the tourists who wanted to see the carrier. Uh, I mean taxpayers. Come to think of it, I have toured a few subs in my time...one was a boomer. Couldn't get me to kip in the torpedo bay!
Not this Doggy. I have seen Mighty Mo, and some other famous ships...right. The CIC isn't allowed to review the troops. Wax on, Wax off.

Go Dog, Go!

Did Nancy Pelosi cut off her eyelids to belie her age?

One more facelift and her belly button will become her third eye.

And don't tell the goatee joke here.

Lynch Family Dog,

You are right. Come to think of it - not all of the Navy personnel cheering Bush as he gave the speech were Republicans. Henry "Stinky" Waxman you are a real load...

Waxman ..we had a name for guys like him in the school daze well a couple you know em.." nerd " he reminds me of the apointed hall monitor with the kick me sign taped to his back ...the guy who would rat you out for smoking on school grounds a real " p*ss,

George is George he is a WYSIWYG no B/S with Mr President, I like it... it does not matter to me what party hes in a " real down to earth I am what I am " haa type guy is all you can ask for and after the 8 years of disgrace Clinton gave America yeah you can bet the house Waxman was keeping his mouth shut back then

Hah! I thought I was the only person to notice how truly gruesome Henry Waxman is! Tell me he doesn't look like the "ugly people" from that old Twilight zone episode. The episode where the human thought she was the abomination because all the other "people" looked like Henry Waxman. Then she was transported to the other village where the "humans" were and lived happily ever after. :) Judge for yourself!http://www.twilightzone.org/html/tzfig_01.html

Ap0calypt1c: By the way, most of the discussion is going on at the newest stories. And Waxman 'nostrilhair' is truly hideous. In fact, he's almost as bad-looking as the rest of the Democrats are stupid!

PS: how to make links in your posts: (replace all [s with the less-than symbol over the comma, and all ]s with the greater-than symbol over the period.)

[a href="place full URL here, including the leading http://" target="new"]put the link display text here, it will be shown onscreen[/a]