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April 28, 2003
History to Hail Clinton as Warrior-Scholar

(2003-04-28) -- Former President Bill Clinton is destined to go down in history as a "warrior-scholar," according to unnamed experts at top universities.

However, he left the White House before he could enjoy watching the mighty armed forces that he built win the war in Iraq.

"President Bush will get credit for nothing but flipping the switch on the great military juggernaut which Clinton constructed practically from scratch," said a history professor at an Ivy League school. "After the massive cuts of the Reagan, then Bush, administrations, Clinton single-handledly restored the confidence of the American military. History books will crackle with the stories of his valiant battles to secure massive funding infusions from Congress to increase military pay and equip troops with the best weapons."

by Scott Ott | Donate | | Comments (21) | More Satire | Printer-Friendly
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This wasn't a hands down victory due to the things Clinton did FOR our military. It was a hands down victory in spite of what Clinton did TO our military.

Posted by: Kevin at April 28, 2003 08:25 AM

We have all been to hard on Mr. Clinton. He didn't really "loathe the military", or at least not all the military. I'm sure that as commander in chief he has many happy memories of the WACs and WAVEs with whom he had some quality morale sessions. Mr. Clinton's actual hatred was directed at COMBAT, not peace time.

Posted by: Joseph at April 28, 2003 08:36 AM

I thought this was supposed to be a parody site?

Posted by: TL at April 28, 2003 09:26 AM

....and I hope the history books report the Clinton economy we inherited, too.

Of course Clinton didn't despise the military. They came in SO handy when the glaring spotlight was on he and that women he did NOT have relations with, Ms. Lewinksky. None of his "fans" were shouting " no blood for sex scandal cover ups".

****Kevin's Words: "This wasn't a hands down victory due to the things Clinton did FOR our military. It was a hands down victory in spite of what Clinton did TO our military."****VERY WELL SPOKEN, Kevin!

Still makes me sick to think of how he took an entire country on some joy ride like a cheap 'ho' for 8 years. When a president's final actions and words when leaving office are pardoning a laundry list of of thugs and saying " I sure had fun". What kind of legacy is THAT?

Posted by: Lynch Family Cat at April 28, 2003 10:29 AM

....agreeing with a caller to Rush or Sean Hannity a few weeks ago. ( and I paraphrase....)

"Clinton deserves some of the credit for the success of the war in Iraq". Everyone got so used to Clintons' not speaking the truth...maybe Iraq didn't expect Bush to mean what he said either". ..

My pacifist cousin in Europe said to me "your country flourished under Clinton". I said "yes-- GREATLY-------in SCANDAL."

Posted by: Mighty Right Of Ya at April 28, 2003 10:36 AM

The sad, sad irony of this is that Clinton may well beleive it himself. I am sure that Charlie Rangle would agree.

Posted by: netmarcos at April 28, 2003 11:10 AM

Well, Clintoon and de Gaulle have one thing in common; if they are being run out of town on a rail, to get in front and make it look like a parade.

Taking credit for taking away a DECENT health care system that we had? CHAMPUS wasn't perfect but it is waaaaayyyyy better than Tri Scare or Try to Get Care.

Oh, that was Hillary. Lessee...nope. He screwed the military all right...along with Monica, and other bimbettes and set a horrible example for Gary Condit and Scott Peterson to follow...

I do remember Tipper taking to the television right after Clinton was anointed and talking about depression, and that if we were depressed to see our docs to get meds. Is that not coincidental to the rise in the use of Ritalin and Prozac?

I would have GLADLY stayed tranked during that whole mess in the White House.

No, Clinton should be remembered as the Teflon President. You know he touched, but it didn't stick.

I am glad he is gone, and wish that Hillary would go away, but she has her eye on 2004. I wonder if she has consulted Eleanor on her chances of winning?

Posted by: Cricket at April 28, 2003 11:40 AM

Take it from an Army Officer who was in from 1986 to 1995. The change from 1991 to 1993 (Bush the elder to Clinton the philanderer) was palpable. Across the board, whether it was shooting range ammunition to budgeted field training time, all were effected - and I was in the 82nd Airborne at the time (We were always on the top of the Army's budget).

And don't get me started on what the "Don't ask, Don't tell" fiasco did to moral. We were succussful in Iraq DESPITE what Clinton did.

Before the Iraq war I was telling friends that no one had been up against the "Full Force and Might of the American Military" since the WWII/Korean wars and that this war was going to be short and VERY one sided. It was and I am one darned proud American. A very loud shout out to the fine American military.

Posted by: A 9 year vet at April 28, 2003 12:08 PM

Hold onto your [insert something to hold onto here], folks. I've heard rumors over the past few years that ol' Bill has his eyes on the UN. Definitely a long shot, especially if W gets re-elected, but one never knows. Maybe he'll stir up memories of all those Republican FBI files he may or may not have looked through. Does anyone remember that? It was like Bill&Hill; ripped off that scene in "The Untouchables", where Elliot Ness got the judge to remove the jury that Al Capone bribed by telling him he saw his name in Capone's graft ledger. Ness didn't really, but the judge was scared anyway. hmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Posted by: Archie's Bunker at April 28, 2003 12:14 PM

A 9 YEAR VET! --- consider this a sincere, heartfelt applause and thanks for your service and that of your comrades. I have GREAT regard for you all.

Living in a military city ( Colo. Springs) I met some of the uniformed during "President Clinton" and HER husbands reign of disgrace. It broke my heart to see how they're loathing of the military had such an adverse effect on morale.

Morale...Morals....BOTH words lost on Hill and Bill!

Thank GOD (literally) for a true Commander In Chief.

( apparently it wasn't heard clearly by Willie and he thought he was mantled "Commander in Sleaze".hmmmm... Maybe that explains too why when he was asked to throw the first PITCH at a baseball game Hillary went flying across the field. a little "hearing" problem... but then that depends upon your definition of hearing though, doesn't it?.....yada yada yada..

Posted by: Mighty Right of Ya at April 28, 2003 12:57 PM

I did my time as an enlisted from '95 to '01, so I got the full Clinton Effect (BOHICA=Bend Over Here It Comes Again). In all fairness, the dramatic reduction in troop strength was initiated by GWB after Gulf War I. However, it was Bill who ran us ragged for the next 8 years on such notable missions as fixing Haiti (still broke), Somalia (U.N. guidance and no tanks), Bosnia (U.N. guidance and white slavery), Monica (One seriously dead aspirin factory), et cetera ad nauseum. I worked in the medical field, and it was not uncommon to work a 27hr shift to get things ready for the next day. The big morale boost you could get out of NARMC (North Atlantic Regional Medical Command), was a statement to do more with less, because 60% staff levels were all you were going to get. By the end of my contract, the Army was hemorrhaging in the midlevel enlisted ranks (Sergeant and Staff Sergeant). Even after GWB 2 took office, recruiting efforts were low until 9-11. Say what you will about that tragedy, but it bailed the military out of tight spot caused by p--s poor leadership starting at the top. Hopefully, Afghanistan and Gulf War II have cleaned out most of the residual Clintonitis (Having Rummy throw furniture around can be cathartic for an institution). I don't regret my time served, but do not ask me to do that ever again.

Posted by: Movin' On at April 28, 2003 02:02 PM

I see "Bagdhad Bob" is now working for the Clinton 2008 campaign, and collaberating on the side here. A match made in heaven, either way. :-)

Posted by: Bill at April 28, 2003 02:24 PM

the only military that Clinton built was the techinacal give away to the Chineese.

Posted by: del at April 28, 2003 03:30 PM

Bill Clinton
is like getting dog cr*p on your shoes

just scrape it off and leave it alone

Posted by: jp at April 28, 2003 05:18 PM

jp...( dog doo doo on shoes comment--quite fitting!).......HAHAHAHAHA.....


BUT the stench of it just doesn't seem to go away!....it lingers FAR too long....

enuf said!

Posted by: Lynch Family Cat at April 28, 2003 06:28 PM

Oh yeah, the cat commenting on the smell of DOG crap. That's a case of the pot calling the kettle black!!!

Posted by: tired of whiners at April 28, 2003 06:57 PM

....Tired of Whining ( but obviously not "judging")( you sure you're not really that contentious HAMSTER?

so do you routinely walk thru a litter box?...(re-enacting an old I Love Lucy show---pretending your stomping thru grapes, perhaps?)

The point was Clinton being like stepping in dog deposits.....and it ( like his annoying "stench") it lingers!

Feline Pine RULES!...Sincerely,
the" So good my own poop don't stink" cat
(:~})

Posted by: Lynch Family Cat at April 28, 2003 07:59 PM

"Clinton" as a Warrior-Scholar?

You're talking about George Clinton, right?
THe genius behind P-Funk?

Posted by: some random guy at April 29, 2003 08:53 AM

You know I like push-EE self confident independent woman,

What I dont like is a woman who pretends she is all of these things..

How can one respect or trust her judgment look who she still is married to,

She is the possible presidential front runner for the dems...hey go for it ..Hillary and Sharpton in 2004 what a combo

Posted by: jp at May 1, 2003 02:01 PM

This is a joke, right? The only clittoon did was gut the military and do enormous damage to several local economies that depended on the bases he closed down. The man was a menace and it's a good thing his predessor lost or 9/11 would be but a beginning of the devastation we here in the States would have seen.

Posted by: Jackie H Warren at May 6, 2003 08:31 PM

bill clinton was nothing but a horny jimmy carter.

Posted by: n.galaviz at October 18, 2003 10:02 PM
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