Stage three will then commence, involving a rescue operation to find Snoop dogydog and Sheryl Crow, last seen as human shields in from of Kim Jong Il's favorite restaurant.

Gimhart and Pillowsi couldn't do anything for less than half the price. As long as there are taxes to be collected, there are taxes to be spent.

Don't we have any army-surplus MOABs we could send over to Kim?? He seems willing to export fireworks, why not balance the trade deficit?

Hey Scott, looking at the Scrappleface Inspirations, it describes the editorial staff as "vast". You promised to tell us if it ever got beyond "half-vast"!!

herro, Flance bery bad, Germany bery bad, Syria bery, bery bad! Prease keep eyes on bery bad peoples. North Korea bery good ! Onry use prutonium in baby mirlk flactory! We have onry good nucreal to PLOTECT us flom bery bad South Koreans!Prease, go back to bizness in Middrel East, noting to be roollied about herle!Kim Jong

Franchise rights to sushi restuarant chain still available, but hurry or soon will be gone!

NKorea is playing with fire and it could cost many lives (not counting the millions starving to death). We send all this aid over and all he does is give it to his million man army. If he was a true leader he would stop the extravagant arms spending and use the money/man power to better the country and its crop yields. They blame us for their suffering when in reality they forced us to recind the fuel oil and food shipments. It was all conditional on the nuclear issue, they broke it, so no aid. Now they are trying to bully/extort us into a new deal. Sorry, NO DICE. In my book they screwed themselves and must pay the price.

I like the way you brought that cheapskate Pelosi quote again.

In an interesting development today, North Korea demanded that the United States "just go ahead and kick our a{ }s!." The demand came after a day of talks with the belligerent "communist superpower" broke down over the lack of fresh dog meat served at the lunch counter.

pduggie,
isn't it de-lousie instead of pelosi?

Greyhawk,
the NKoreans are like spoiled little children who throw a temper tantrum when they don't get what they want. The know if they act out enough the UN will bow down and give them anything they want. The NK's forgot that Clinton is no longer in power, we know have a president with some cajones.

PDUGGIE and JUSTIN!
....correct me if I'm wrong but I though it was
Nancy Pile O'Sheet. ( hear Speedy Gonzales say it)..She's Irish?

You never cease to crack me up.

MROY,
I don't care what she is. All she is to me is an embarASSment.

If our intelligence can find out the exact time North Korea is going to 'test', we can drop a nuke on N.Korea at that exact time, and it will look like they didn't know what they were doing! Problem solved!

Off topic:

This Gloria Allred, Attorney, If you frost her hair in streaks, she is a dead ringer for Herman Munster's wife/Bride of Frankenstein.

Also if you are a Fox News Channel watcher, wouldn't you think Cristy Lane would have sold an album to everyone she is going to by now? Why doesn't she have "Ballad of the Green Berets", somewhere on her album? It's the least she can do for SSGT Barry Sadler!

And if they don't stop showing MCI commercials with danny glover, my last channel viewed button, is going to wear out!

Susan,
you have a develish mind, but i agree on the nuke solution!

justin

I don't care what she is. All she is to me is an

" embarASSment. "

CLASSIC....LMAO I am in shock and awe
ALL HAIL THE KING

Due to the aid that the West provides, North Korea is able to spend 25% of it's GDP on the military. It has a standing army of over a million men. (Source: CIA world factbook 2002)

I've never been to North Korea, but I have a friend in the gaming industry who was there a couple of years ago on a contract. He tells me that the level of government control of information is beyond belief; Only state newspapers and television, and as for regular access to the internet for non-officials, forget it. Compare this to Iraq where many people had regular access to the internet and to CNN etc; the population was at least aware of Western views.

His activities were monitored by soldiers at more or less every point. His conversations with soldiers seem to indicate that they really believe that Communism is going to win. These aren't like the hungry, ill-equipped and apathetic troops that made up most of the Iraqi army; these guys are well taken care of, compared to the civilians.

Even without the threat of nuclear weapons, a forcible regime change in North Korea would be horribly costly.

I'm no pacifist; if war is ultimately required I will of course support it. But I pray to God that North Korea can be disarmed without military action.

North Korea militarily is the equal of Iraq 1990 in both manning and equipment. The difference is the Iraqi's were experienced, battle hardened troops. The North Koreans are not. We would need an extensive bombing campaign before the tanks roll though, more like Desert Storm then the mop up this past month. Sixty days tops, (of course, that's for major ops) and their "million man army" will be a very large, very dysfunctional family.

OBTW I was in Korea during Desert Storm (and a couple years before). Something I'll always remember is the English language NK Propaganda broadcasts we'd intercept on teletype. The language was incredible! Flowery, and patently ridiculous, something like this:

"The imperialist Yankee capitalists and their running-dog slave puppet government will never overcome the glorious peoples republic..."

Get the picture? You couldn't stereotype this stuff enough. North=Good! South=Bad! America=Evil colonialist! It was the "Big Lie" for sure, and told as the Berlin wall was falling. No one but the world's biggest fools could believe it, right? We laughed at it, it was so corny!

Now of course, college educated Amerikans swallow that crap hook line and sinker.

And I just posted actual breaking news at the Gazette! The secretary of Transportation has attacked American Airlines for increased screening of "apparent Middle Easterners" between Sep 11 2001 and Dec 2001. What a good little Democrat! Kick em while they're down! Way to boost the economy, Norm!

Those North Korean soldiers really march good, don't they? The way they goose step and slam their feet to the ground, if we wait a little while, they will all have bad backs! HaHa!

CNN reports that Mr. Kim has begun diverting funds from his ably-equipped and trained military to mass-production of hundreds of thousands of "Mini-Me" Kim statues in the hopes of bankrupting the U.S.

"If the imperialist Yankee pigs were willing to spend up to $100 billion to know down a few inconsequential statues of my friend Saddam--who had no Weapons of Mass Destruction, I point out--how much are they willing to spend to come knock down countless replicas of ME???", asked Mr. Kim to our reporter (whose work has been overseen by the UN Security Council, and approved by France).

SUSAN!....BRILLIANT nuke solution.

Have you sent a resume' to Rummy or Tommy Franks? (:~}).
*************************
RE: the marching of the N. Korean soldiers: Just goes to show ya how robotic and inhuman they're trained to be! Blue Emu must sell well over there. A "mecca" for chiropractors, too.(:~})

What have you all got against the Dear Leader, Kim Jong Il? He is doing a fantastic job of destroying his own country. He says he has nuclear weapons does he? well dearie me! I have seen examples of South Korean Engineering and I am not impressed by cheap copies of everything from Rolex Watches to Cars. The standard of engineering in North Korea must be laughable, not because the engineers are dumb but because their resources are pitiful. They may well be able to knock up a 1st generation bomb or two but the building of an A bomb will probably be beyond them. As for a delivery system they will have to use Fed Ex. I think the US should encourage the North Koreans by cutting off all Aid and leave them to stew.

Ze cheerless leader obviously iss sufferink from das Napolean complex. I prescribe a sock in his pants and mabbe shoelifts. Mebbe ve should stop sendink Colin Powell und Donald Rumsfeld to talks and sent Robert Riech as special envoy. And maybe that other little shrimp, vats her name,the shiske who ses sheese Jewish. Dats my advice, no charge.

Dr. Sigmund Frued, I think you have hit on something. Little Kim, (not to be confused with the rapper), is suffering from, 'little man' complex. To make him feel like a 'Somebody', the United States can invite him to come to Hollywood and star as the 'Munchkin Mayor', in a "Wizard of Oz" remake! Then in the scene when The Wicked Witch of the West appears, (played by Hillary Clinton), and is chased off by The Good Witch, Glenda, (played by Corporal Jessica Lynch), WHAMO, Jessica pulls out her M16 and wastes the little scum bag! THE END

Be sure and watch for the sequel, when Sgt Jessica Lynch will solve the Cuba/Castro problem!

Mr. Kim:
Remember the Ryan Doctrine.
Signed, Guess Who

Dr. Sigmund Frued & Susan Serin-Dome... ( Kim Jong Il posts)

*****applause***** applause***** applause****
..got a good laugh out of those...

I would only be concerned that Hollywood would only corrupt Little Nukey Man further....after all we ARE talking Hollywierd that has chosen to stay somewhere WAAAAYYYYY over the rainbow!

I heard Letterman ( NOT to be confused with Leatherman) one time make reference to Kim Jong Il's dad --"Men tally.....". (:~}). I don't if
"the apple doesn't fall far from the tree" is applicable in this case.....but regardless of how far it fell....no question it feel real HARD! He is one scaaaarey unit!!

Maybe we ought to load up an old titan-2, launch it and drop an empty payload into Pyonamin square. Just to get their attention. Dems and Eurowienies might put up with this crap from NK and the mid-east, but it's high time to tell these terror-dummies that if you cannot control yourselves or your people, we will. Come to think about it, the UN parking lot would be another good choice for a demo.

What we need to do is take over the tv/radio waves and flood them with america. Let the people see what the are missing and see what happens.
Or...we could pull and "air america" on them and dump a whole bunch of abnormally large condems on the country and make the men feel inadequate..., just a thought!

Justin,

Dump the TV idea. Let them watch the crap that's on now and they'll be convinced the US is no threat whatsoever. The shows make us all look obsessed with sex, make all our families look twisted and disfunctional, and the commercials all make men look like total morons.

On second thought, they'll be convinced we're a push-over and they'll invade the US. That'll give us a perfect excuse to kill them all and turn their country into a slightly radioactive parking lot.

We can let the Lefties meet the invading forces with signs, chants, and candles. After they get mowed down with machine-gun fire, we can show the footage on CNN to convince the "international community" of the brutality of these invaders. Getting a spokesman who can keep a straight face might be difficult.

Its a win-win situation. We get justification for war, and we get rid of a bunch of total flakes.

So let us start beaming "Are You Hot" and the Jerry Springer show to North Korea.

SRG,
Imagine what the people would do if they saw "are you hot." They would either look down on us or think that we are big, strong, healthy people that could whip the crap out of them.

In retrospect, It wouldn't work because most of the people don't have electricity, tv's or radios. I would think we could bomb them into the stone age, but they wouldn't notice much of a difference!

I'm all for knocking off all those lefties as you said, the world would be better off without them.