If you arrogant American's don't stop picking on us poor weak French folk.. we are going to smack on the toe of your boot with our head.

"If you're not with us, you're against us." Seems like I heard that somewhere. . .

Scott, it's not so much that the French are with Saddam. It's more that they're against the US.

No Surrender for Oil!

Rip Rowan

hey frenchman -

does selling spare parts for fighter jets and attack helicopters to Saddam qualify as lending support to terrorists? Or are we going to hear your lame excuse that 20 years ago we supplied arms to Iraq for their use against Iran? Sorry, that excuse doesn't fly when your country signed resolution 1441 in November and less than 2 months later your back-stabbing, treacherous, weasel-like little country goes and sells military parts to a despot your country just labeled as a terrorist nation?

to redeem any sense of personal pride, my dear Frenchman, you should apologize for your country's duplicitous actions. Or we will boycott your rantings on this site as we will boycott everything and anything french.

And just when you though it couldn't get any funnier...

Oh, heck, let's just invade France even if Saddam doesn't strike. I mean how hard could it be?

Here's a first strike scenario:

We send our Marines to storm the beaches of Normady again. Plus, we fly in a unit of special forces (let's say Green Berets) on British Airways. The complete occupation of the country should take about 3-4 hours, depending how fast the French army can find and dust off their rifles and throw them down.

Jocular Chiraq becomes infuriated and asks the UN Security Council to draft a resolution declaring the invasion of France illegal.

The US decides to support the French resolution, which means Chiraq will have to declare his intentions to veto the resolution, thereby sanctioning the US invasion of his country.

HOLD ON!!! We just can't go invading France.

They haven't had time to stock up on white flags yet.

SUBJECT:

DEFINE: ( IMMEDIATE )

RESOLUTION 1441 (2002)
Security Council General November 8. 2002
______________________________________
From Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary

Immediate

1. Not separated in respect to place by anything intervening; proximate; close; as, immediate contact.

2. Not deferred by an interval of time; present; instant.

3. Acting with nothing interposed or between, or without the intervention of another object as a cause, means, or agency; acting, perceived, or produced, directly; as, an immediate cause.

RESOLUTION 1441 (2002)
Security Council General November 8. 2002
________________________________________

5. Decides that Iraq shall provide UNMOVIC and the IAEA... ( immediate,)....

unimpeded, unconditional, and unrestricted access to any and all, including underground, areas, facilities, buildings, equipment, records, and means of transport which they wish to inspect,

as well as..... ( immediate,).....

unimpeded, unrestricted, and private access to all officials and other persons whom UNMOVIC or the IAEA wish to interview in the mode or location of UNMOVIC's or the IAEA's choice pursuant
to any aspect of their mandates; further that Iraq cooperate.....(immediately,)....

unconditionally, and actively with UNMOVIC and the IAEA;
__________________________________________

THIS HAS BEEN GOING ON FROM APRIL 3, 1991
THIS WAR IS STARTED BY FRANCE IT IS THERE FAILURE TO JOIN IN A UNITED FRONT, FRANCE HAS WILLFULLY AND KNOWINGLY BY VIRTUE OF OBSTRUTION STARTED THIS WAR LEAVING AMERICA NO CHOICE WHAT SO EVER THAN TO PROTECT ITSELF
YOU FRANCE, GERMANY AND RUSSIA ARE THE AUTHORS OR WAR YOU ARE THE CAUSE OF WAR YOU ARE NOT AMERICA YOU FOOL NO ONE AND HISTORY SHALL SHOW YOU FRANCE ARE THE AUTHORS OF THIS WAR

hey justice prevails
we've seen the same thing over and over
get some new material or get a life

POWELL PLAYS 'RACE CARD' AT U.N.

In a stunning session of the Security Council today, Colin Powell asserted that racism was the only explanation for France's obstruction of U.S. efforts to solve the Iraq crisis. "If I were white, this all would have been over with months ago," Mr. Powell declared. French Foreign Minister Dominique DeGirlMan leapt up and protested vigorously, at which point Mr. Powell pointed at him and said "See?"

The Security Council immediately approved the current US/UK-sponsored resolution on the table, as well as a large stack of pre-approved, blank resolutions for the U.S. to use as it saw fit in the future. The French Foreign Minister was sentenced to death.

to tom
Posted by: tom on March 7, 2003 06:19 PM

hey tom its on now
and their aint a damn thing you or your al-qaeda supporting buddys france are gonna do about it

to tommy boy
Posted by: tom on March 7, 2003 06:19 PM

oh look at tommy boy with his hollywood attitude
the truth hurts dont it tommy boy

Who needs to invade Normandy and all that again. Let's send over about 1,000 6th graders armed with paint-ball guns and they will surrender in no time. They would take one look at the sophisticated weapontry that they have and would have to give up right then and there..

Haven't heard much from Frenchman since that article about fighter parts being sold to Iraq, Hmmm I wonder why????

I don't think Tom's comments were necessarily in favor of Iraq or al-Qaeda. It's just that these long "justice" posts are getting a bit old, and for the most part they are preaching to the choir. Given that this is a parody site, it would make sense to post lighthearted comments. Keep it happpy! America will prevail!

to
Posted by: John Lemon on March 7, 2003 06:50 PM

"justice" posts are getting a bit old,"

not half as old as 12 years of Iraqs none compliance
justice has it, 100% right

Yes! Start the bombing now before they can make more movies about gay cowboys eating pudding. (Can't remember exactly where I saw the gay cowboys reference, but it was a perfect description.)

The French are sorry. To bad they haven't won a war since Napolean. I think they are just agreeing with what Germany says because they don't want to get stomped on like they did in the last two wars. If it wasn't for the Americans and the British, all of Europe would be speaking German now.

Posted by: Opeth on March 7, 2003 10:48 PM

Yes! Start the bombing now before they can make more movies about gay cowboys eating pudding. (Can't remember exactly where I saw the gay cowboys reference, but it was a perfect description.)

SOUTHPARK

Haven't heard much from Frenchman since that article about fighter parts being sold to Iraq, Hmmm I wonder why????

Posted by: Justin on March 7, 2003 06:43 PM

...........

The truth really hurts.
Disillusioned Frenchman is still in the process of grasping the reality. Give him a little time.

He is being debriefed and loaded by the “French Intelligence Apparatus - Propaganda and Deception Division” (his employer) on how to deny the issue.

Frenchman must require a lot of time to string together pointless facts that have nothing to do with the debate. He's probably doing research into the Apollo Moon landing and will attempt to make his next argument that the US conquered the Moon Men, stole all their green cheese and Oil and left the moon scorched of all it's habitat. That's why we want to invade Iraq.

And why the dog-pile on tom? He's got a valid point.

oh I was looking for a debate......
oh this is the what??
french bashing only .....no thanks

Chose your weapon gettin-agripe

you are right... it was unfair of US.
Frenchie came into a battle of wits unarmed...

but a wet noodle won't do you much good here.
That's all we ask as a conservative... is that you take the issues on target and with logic.
... a sense of humor is still legal... I think?

I'm convinced that the Iraqi army has French advisers. After all, some are already starting to surrender.

BREAKING NEWS....
THE SCRAPPLE GANG HAS LOST THE WILL TO LIVE
THE FRENCHMAN WHEREABOUTS ARE UNKNOWN
MASS PANIC IN THE WAKE OF THIS TRAGIC EVENT

REPORTS ARE COMING IN
THE ( DOG PILE ) CAN NOT SUSTAIN ITS COALITION
WHEN ASKED FOR A STATEMENT THE LEADER OF THE SCRAPPLE GANG FELL INTO A COMA

Don't Flatter yourself so Frenchie-in-disguise.

MAGNA EST VERITAS ET PRAEVALEBIT

FAIT JUSTITIA,

RUAT CAELUM

Frenchman were are you?
Have you surrendered without telling us?
C-mon don't be a killjoy. Give us a good fight.
We'll handle you with care.

A Brief History Lesson of France's Military

Gallic Wars - Lost. A war, whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history. France is conquered by, of all things, an Italian.

Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare: "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman."

Italian Wars - Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots.

Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.

War of Devolution - Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.

The Dutch War - Tied.

War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War - Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.

War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved ever since.

American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare: "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."

French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.

The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. Temporary victories (remember the first rule!) Due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.

The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunken Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.

World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein". Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.

World War II - Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.

War in Indochina - Lost. French forces plead sickness; take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu.

Algerian Rebellion - Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare: "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.

War on Terrorism - France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's.

French war recordÖ1-14-8. And people make fun of the Cincinnati Bengals? We've given them credit for help in the American Revolutionary War, but could not feel good about counting the French vs. French revolution.

The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should not be "Can we count on the French?", but rather "How long until France collapses?"

to justice prevails, supporting justice and amer-i-can -

c'mon guys, I guess you haven't been reading the comments for a while. I've been bashing Frenchman for weeks. When you're in a battle of wits you can't keep repeating the same (long) post over and over again. With so much good information out there to bash the anti-war idiotarians there is no excuse for stale arguments. French military parts sold to Iraq in January 2003, the French yes vote to res 1441, the unilateral French attack on the Greenpeace boat, the current French unilateral involvement in Africa, etc., etc. Get some good, new info and make new arguments. But don't accuse me of supporting Saddam, al Queda or the French, I've been pro-Bush and pro-USA on this site long before you boys showed up.

apologies accepted.
Tom

Preaching to the choir? If choirs didn't need and want preaching, why do they keep going to church?

The United States vetoed a resolution presented to the UN Security Council by Dominique de Villepin, of France that would order the immediate closure of the breaches in the border fence between Iraq and Kuwait.

De Villepin said in his statement,

“…if the hemorrhage of Iraqi conscripts through the fence continues, the risk of embarrassment to President Hussein (and the countries that have secretly supported him) would be too severe and he may never recover. After all, this beleaguered nation has already suffered twelve years of humiliations along with economic devastation due to the imperialist, bullying strategies of the United States. The US is continuing to undermine the leadership of Iraq by providing medical care, edible food and safety for those who flee to Kuwait via the breach. France has done its best to help Saddam maintain his soverignty and will continue to stand with her in the face of undue influence by the only superpower left in the world. American pride is already too great, and Saddam should be given an opportunity to save face…..”

Anti-war protesters applauded the rush of human shields to the area who are using their bodies to block Iraqi defectors from leaving.

I make it a practice to refrain from pasting my messages over and over on different threads. I posted the above yesterday on a different thread. (not that I mind if someone put it here - is that possible?)

Here is our plan in France:

1) The US prepare a resolution to attack North Korea because they have kiked out their inspectors and they have nuclear weapons.
+ The US declares that North koreans are bad guys, are helping Al Quaida, are developing a secret weapon etc...
Of course some of it is invented and without serious evidence but it sounds convincing at the UN and on CNN.

2)France is using it's veto because we are weasels.Mr Bush is furious and declares French kissing illegal.

3)Mr Bush is advised that the missile shield system is finally working and decides to strike first.

4)North Korea is destroyed and so is part of North America because the missile shield system was not so good after all.

5)The French rediscover America and decide that as the new superpower,it's their turn to rule the world.

I think operation french fries slipped a little LSD in his joint and is babbling uncontrollably!

Looking at history. It was France that started the Vietnam war fighting in Indochina using ex-Nazis to do thier fighting. Sound crazy? Look it up.

I must admit michael, you have more imagination than me.

I'm benjamin, paris, FranceÖ

I'm french and I m not proud of it. I think that it is really dangerous when a people believe that HIS culture, politic, and way of life, is the best. If you are american, you are probably proud of it. But WHY ? Don't you think, that's because there is so much american flag in your street ?? Don't you think, that's because you repeated that your country is the greatest every morning in school ??? Think about that : It's dangerous to be proud of your country because, whatever who has the power, whatever what's his politic : You will agree !!!!!!!

I can give you an advise: Stop watching FOXNEWS !!!!!!!! Try to listen other point of view !
Do you know what is going on in Irak and palestine ????
In Irak, there is robery at each corner !!!!!!
In palestine : There is israel's tank at each corner !!!!!

Do you really think that this war will help for make terorists out ???
Try to understand that the problem of terrorist is that they think they are opressed. I don't think this war will help. This war will kill

I hope you will answer me. demanu@caramail.com Bye mister. PEACE and LOVE

PS: I love so much stuff of america, It's too bad to think that you are right, and the rest of the world are stupid

The french are alot more technological then many countries in the world including UK. I would take france this time around.