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February 02, 2003
Are 'Manned' Vacations Worth the Risk?

(2003-02-02) -- Many Americans are asking whether manned vacations -- by car, plane, train or ship -- are worth the risk of accidents and illness. Congressional Democrats may introduce a bill this week mandating unmanned, robotic family vacations.

"It would be just as fun as a manned vacation trip," said a Congressional aide, "except you wouldn't leave the house, so you couldn't get in a crash, or get some strange intestinal illness."

Under the plan, a family would still go through the ritual of looking at maps and web sites to plan the vacation, and the parents would still take a week off from work. Government-funded web sites would simulate the entire vacation, using web cams on user-controlled robots to show the interesting places they might have gone. A government-issued software package would include realistic animated tour guides.

"Risk is bad," said the Democrat aide. "We must prevent people from getting hurt, sick or killed at all costs, even if it means eliminating the so-called American spirit of adventure and discovery. It's the federal government's job to keep everyone absolutely safe all the time."

by Scott Ott | Donate | | Comments (15) | More Satire | Printer-Friendly
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Scott, you are brilliant. And your point is well-taken - we can't let tragedy stop us from doing what needs to be done.

Posted by: susanna at February 2, 2003 09:38 AM

Yes, nicely done.

Posted by: John Nowak at February 2, 2003 10:56 AM

Perhaps we need to develop robitic Congressmen to sent to Washington since Washington is so dangerous these days with all the madmen trying to smash planes into it.

Posted by: Laurence Simon at February 2, 2003 11:05 AM

Have you read the book "With Folded Hands" by Jack Williamson? It's a sci-fi story about some robots invented on another planet that are designed to protect mankind. They wind up doing everything -- to the point where the last scene in the book shows the main characters sitting in their living room "with folded hands". That story is one of the scariest I've ever read.

Posted by: Joel Fuhrmann at February 2, 2003 02:41 PM

You're right Joel, that is a scary story. I've read it too. There's a couple others similar to it but I don't remember the names.

Posted by: Matt at February 2, 2003 03:04 PM

Still, I think it would be a good idea to work on an unmanned "transport" vehicle that would do the work of hauling girders and supplies and such up to the space station. This would minimize how many humans you put at risk by crossing our dangerous atmosphere. Leave the humans up there for long periods to work on the projects, but use robot craft to do face the peril of criss-crossing the atmosphere on a daily basis hauling supplies.

Posted by: Eric Cox at February 2, 2003 03:21 PM

Scott -

My first reaction was "God bless you, Scott".

And that's saying something, since I'm an atheist...

-NZB

Posted by: N.Z. Bear at February 2, 2003 03:59 PM

Heh. Back in my young and wild days of skydiving, various people would try to protect me from myself. You've skewered that mentality wonderfully.

Posted by: Doug Jones at February 2, 2003 04:44 PM

"...the last scene in the book shows the main characters sitting in their living room "with folded hands".

Hey, as long as the TV is on and the remote control is accessible, I have no problem with that scenario.

Posted by: DavidMSC at February 2, 2003 05:39 PM

Another great contribution to the world of satire. All the more funny since it probably is closer to the truth than we care to admit.

Are we becoming a nation of Wussies or what? (Though hopefully not weasels. Is it better to be a wussie than a weasel, especially considering that most [human] weasels are wussies?)

All we are saying, is give fear a rest.

John Lemon

Posted by: John Lemon at February 3, 2003 06:06 PM

Another sad commentary about the state of our society is that a big focus of the news media and government will be to afix blame for the shuttle disaster. Let's just fix the problem. Granted, I know that "finding fault" will be part of the process wherein we determine where the problem to be fixed lies. However, I would argue that there has been an increasing tendency to go overboard on this process. Nobody at NASA or any of the outsourcing firms wanted this to happen. I'm sure once the problem is discovered it will be fixed.

John Lemon -- now with an e-mail address!

Posted by: John Lemon at February 3, 2003 06:17 PM

I always like a good mix of Robots, humans, and "other" myself.

What would Joel and Mike have been without Tom Servo, Crow T. Robot, and Gypsy?

Where would Fry be without Bender?

The Doctor without K-9 (ok, he actually did fine. But the point remains!)

Davros without the Daleks (ok, ok. They weren't exactly robots. But the point remains!)

Lister without Kryton?

Post-Red Dwarf Craig Charles without Robot Wars?

Post-WWF/E Mick Foley without Robot Wars?

Post-WWF/E Joanie Lawer without Robot Wars?

Posted by: Porphyrogenitus at February 3, 2003 08:38 PM

Or Dr. Smith without Robot? "Oh, the pain of it all."

Or Kirk without computer? (Computer actually made Kirk look like a good actor in comparison.)

Or those annoying humans without HAL?

And Lister withoute Ene?

Or Lemon without a Head?

Or me without my blender?!

All we are saying, is give Roe a Bot!

John Lemon
(Hands folded peacefully)

Posted by: John Lemon at February 3, 2003 11:51 PM

I was listening to NPR Sunday morning less than 24 hours after the shuttle was lost. They had on a guest with 20 / 20 hindsight placing all the blame on NASA. Couldn't they have waited before they started attacking NASA. The people they are attacking are friends of those who were lost, give them time to grieve.

Posted by: Doc at February 4, 2003 09:34 PM

That's the Nanny State for you!

Posted by: John Lemon at February 6, 2003 02:49 AM
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