ScrappleFace: FBI-Campus Cop Duo 'The Ticket' to Stop Terrorism

FBI-Campus Cop Duo 'The Ticket' to Stop Terrorism

(2003-01-25) -- A partnership between the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) and college campus police forces has resulted in 273,000 parking tickets to potential terrorists in the past six months.

The alliance, unveiled today in an MSNBC story, combines the investigative skill of the FBI with the powerful crime-fighting techniques of campus police.

No hard numbers are yet available on how many of the parking tickets were issued to suspected terrorists.

But an unnamed FBI insider said, "just look at the numbers. Universities are crawling with Arab-origin foreigners, and campus cops write more parking tickets per officer than any force in the world. We're still combing the data, but we see the campus officer corps as the frontline in the war against terror."

Comments

Skip to Comments Form

(1-25-03) Update -- While the FBI and Campus Police have established a partnership, the Immigration and Naturalization Service has declined to join a teaming arrangement with other law enforcement agencies. An unidentified INS official stated, "Our mission is to use our MP5 submachine guns to rescue small immigrant Cuban children from their closets. And we still have a backlog of illegals we must ignore, especially the creepy ones from Jamaica wearing t-shirts saying 'sniper.' We just can't handle a bigger mission at this time."

Posted by: N. Facol at January 25, 2003 01:03 PM

I heard it was a Campus Officer IT geek that put the kiddie porn on R. Kelly's hard drive.

And now they're after Islamics, "a peaceful religous group." Gee I thought the Muslims (or is it Moslems) were the bad guys?

Posted by: Tall Fella at January 25, 2003 02:05 PM

"Arab-origin foreigners", what a bigoted-sounding statement. Oh, wait - who were those people again that crashed airplanes into the WTC killing over 3,000 people? Just a coincidence...

Posted by: Todd at January 25, 2003 05:09 PM

I dunno about this. I really have doubts about Campuses doing ANYTHING right. Professors even at the "best" univerisities can't even do arithmetic? 100 billion = 1 trillion??

http://www.martinkramer.org/pages/899529/
Math Quiz at Stanford

Posted by: Scot Silverstein at January 25, 2003 10:12 PM

Re: previous post about "Math Quiz at Stanford
", http://www.martinkramer.org/pages/899529/

Oops! Correction! Kramer may have given this Stanford genius too much credit! See http://wombat.doc.ic.ac.uk/foldoc/foldoc.cgi?trillion

trillion : In Britain, France, and Germany, 10^18 or a million cubed. In the USA and Canada, 10^12. (And in Stanford la-la land, 100 billion or 10^11?)

So, a trillion in Britain, France & Germany is 10^18 or a million cubed - not 10^12 or a thousand billion as in US. I'll bet the Stanford genius meant that the amount of U.S. aid to Israel was a trillion dollars by the "Rumsfeld Axis of Weasel Old Europe" definition, i.e., $1,000,000,000,000,000,000 !

Posted by: Scot Silverstein at January 26, 2003 06:55 AM

Will Beserkley become an internment camp?

All we are saying is give Cal a cell!

John Lemon

Posted by: John Lemon at January 26, 2003 04:06 PM