ScrappleFace500.gif
Top Headlines...
:: Arafat May Soon Sign Death Certificate
:: Specter Backs Ashcroft for Next Supreme Court Opening
:: NJ Gov. McGreevey Leaves Office with Mandate
:: Specter Backs Partial-Burial Abortion for Arafat
:: Specter Retracts Ill-Conceived Abortion Remarks
:: Bush Swats Kofi Annan with Rolled Newspaper
:: Arafat Burial Plans Done in Time for Final Death
:: P. Diddy Survives 'Vote or Die' Attempt
:: Kerry Plan: White House Run Hid True Ambition
:: Bush Declares End of Major Campaign Operations

October 31, 2002
Mondale Ads Tout Electability, Novelty

(2002-10-31) -- The first radio ads for Minnesota Senate candidate Walter F. Mondale focus on his electability, and the novelty of voting for him.

The following is a script for one of the spots:

NARRATOR: The vast majority of Minnesota Democrats had no plans to vote this year. But that was before their Senate candidate died. Now, you're going to see lines out the door at your local polling place. Get up early and get on down there, because Walter Mondale, the comeback kid, is back on the ballot again.

Odds are, you weren't even born last time Walter Mondale won an election. Seeing him campaign is like watching Nick at Nite. Mondale's peer group includes Andy Griffith, Ward Cleaver, Lucy Ricardo and Jed Clampett.

But you might ask: "Is he electable?"

You bet he is! Did you know Walter Mondale actually beat Ronald Reagan in the state of Minnesota, not to mention several small towns in other states?

History comes to life for five magical days in November. So don't miss your chance to vote for the greatest living Democrat in Minnesota.

Walter Mondale for Senate...He's like watching That 70s Show... on ice.

by Scott Ott | Donate | | Comments (7) | More Satire | Printer-Friendly
Buy "Axis of Weasels," the first book by Scott Ott. $12.95 + S&H;
Email this entry to: Your email address:
Message (optional):
Skip to Comments Form

Don't you mean he's touting the electricity novelty? Part of his platform his to get more kids to go to school. That so... 1902.

Posted by: Jonathan Cohen at October 31, 2002 10:41 PM

I, for one, certainly hope he renews his 1984 call for an income tax increase.

Posted by: at November 1, 2002 12:48 AM

After seeing and hearing him at his press conference this morning, I began to wonder if he would still be breathing by next Tuesday. Is anyone certain that he is still alive?

Posted by: Robert Hall at November 1, 2002 03:27 AM

Don't forget, Mondale also won D.C. Wow $20 million in campaign expenditures for what 10 electoral votes? That's only ten more than I got, and I didn't even run. But,he will win, just you watch, however much this saddens me. The court challenges are already written.

Posted by: ERic at November 1, 2002 07:34 AM

But wait-- there's more! Walter Mondale promises not to hold his opponent's tender age and inexperience against him.

Posted by: the talking dog at November 1, 2002 10:47 AM

Yesterday Rush ran the tapes of Mondale's press conference and Lautenburg's debate responses in tandem and it was astonishing that the Democrats have these two as their go to guys. When the going got tough the Democrats ignored their base by not choosing a black, gay or woman and instead chose two old, rich, white males. Looks like the Dems have no bench. Who will the "emerging demcratic majority" vote for in the future?

Posted by: Charles Rostkowski at November 1, 2002 11:09 AM

Umm, how about RuPaul?

Posted by: Cicadi at November 1, 2002 01:22 PM
0A
100 Recent Comments
Access the 100 most recent ScrappleFace reader comments, with links to the stories and to commenter archives.
ScrappleFace Headlines