ScrappleFace500.gif
Top Headlines...
:: Limbaugh Ruling Inadvertantly Overturns Roe v. Wade
:: Kerry Protests Dig At Tomb of Genghis Khan
:: Kerry: Iraq Report Proves Saddam More Patient Than Bush
:: VP Debate Ends: Viewers Eager to Learn Who Won
:: Cheney Debate Strategy: 'Try to Look Stoic'
:: Bin Laden Deputy Thanks Kerry for 'Great Ideas'
:: Kerry Wins Debate, Appears 'Almost Senatorial'
:: Kerry Battles Bush Without Plan to Win Peace
:: Kerry Called Up in Draft, Misses Debate
:: Rev. Jackson Brings Black Windsurfers Into Kerry Camp

October 03, 2002
Bush Accepts Iraqi Duel Offer, Appoints Ventura VP

(2002-10-02) -- President Bush fired Vice President Dick Cheney today, and accepted an offer from Iraqi Vice President Taha Yassin Ramadan to engage in a battle of leaders between the U.S. and Iraq. Bush immediately appointed Minnesota Governor Jesse Ventura as vice president to replace Cheney.

"I have no doubt that Dick could give ole Taha Ramalamadingdong a run for his money," Bush said, "but I want to know my VP has got my back, so Governor Ventura will join me on the field of battle."

The Iraqi vice president called for a fight among the top leaders to save the lives of soldiers and civilians on both sides.

"Bring it on," Mr. Bush said. "You want to go deeper into the lineup? I'll put Condi Rice up against any man they got."

by Scott Ott | Donate | | Comments (3) | More Satire | Printer-Friendly
Buy "Axis of Weasels," the first book by Scott Ott. $12.95 + S&H;
Email this entry to: Your email address:
Message (optional):
Comments
Skip to Comments Form

Fortunately for the nation, the GOP is packed with talent; the replacement cabinet will now consist of Secretary of Defense Schwarzenegger, Attorney General Steve Largent, and Secretary of State J.C. Watts. As an added bonus, the President was visibly relieved to have a cabinet that MIGHT keep up with him in the 100 degree club on his 5K runs, and would give him a run for his money on the obstacle course. The President told Treasury Secretary (and former New York Yankee center fielder) Paul O'Neil "That Turk As Is guy had better watch his ass! Cause we're gonna kick it from here to Baghdad!"

Posted by: the talking dog at October 3, 2002 09:54 PM

Fighter Jets at noon!

Posted by: David Pinto at October 4, 2002 10:32 PM

Steven Seagal for EPA!

Posted by: Frank C at October 5, 2002 10:17 AM