(2003-09-03) — Since the $500 billion cost of rebuilding Iraq is too high, the Bush administration plans to close it and sell off its assets by the end of the year.
“It’s strictly a business decision,” said an unnamed State department spokesman. “Iraq was an underperforming asset which became a cash-sucking liability. I’m sorry for the 22 million Iraqis, but I’m sure their Muslim neighbors will take them in and help them get back on their feet.”
The administration plans to auction the land and other assets on eBay in early 2004.

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