(2002-09-17) — ABC News announced today that it has the 200 missing Ukrainian nuclear weapons. ABC reporters around the world are attempting to smuggle the weapons into, and out of, various countries as part of an upcoming undercover report.
“We were going to tell the State Department as soon as we finished shooting…shooting the news report that is…you know, on videotape,” said an unnamed source at ABC. “We’ve been amazed at how easy it is to buy and move these weapons. Most of our reporters are now smuggling something, whether it’s nukes, crack cocaine or Chinese bootleg Jackie Chan DVDs. People love these undercover stories.”

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