(2010-07-27) — The Obama administration today filed an injunction in federal court which would require an immediate halt to cleanup efforts in the Gulf of Mexico currently under way by the forces of nature.
The move comes as analysts confessed they’re having difficulty finding the millions of gallons which have spilled into the Gulf from a BP Deepwater Horizon well during the past month and a half.
Citing a variety of regulatory violations, including a failure to seek permits or to file paperwork in a timely manner, as well as use of non-approved cleanup techniques and biological dispersants, the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) asked the federal judge to issue a cease-and-desist order until the government can complete a study of nature’s remediation efforts.
The study, funded by economic stimulus money in order to create jobs, will determine whether nature’s methodology comports with thousands of pages of federal regulation designed to protect citizens and wildlife from the harm often caused by activities that lack federal government sanction.
“If the oil continues to vanish at this rate without government approval,” said an unnamed EPA spokesman, “the American people face a threat worse than the initial spill: a crisis of confidence that could lead them to follow nature’s example, and to solve problems without waiting for action by the appropriate regulatory agency. I can assure you that nobody in Washington D.C. wants to see that happen.”
8 responses so far ↓
1 j.hart // Jul 27, 2010 at 12:00 pm
"This is a regrettable turn, as my administration planned tomorrow to announce 3 billion jobs created or saved by the spill cleanup," said Obama. "Nature, in her spite, must recall how she suffered under my predecessor."
Contributing to a conference call, Attorney General Eric Holder described nature as a "coward, undermining governmental process despite her protected minority status."
"This display of initiative is inappropriate and, frankly, sickening," Holder added.
2 Libby_Gone // Jul 27, 2010 at 1:53 pm
Tons of oil always weeps from the ocean(s) floors. It gets displaced and absorbed. However Mother Nature may be using it to lube her Harley……..
3 SanFranNan // Jul 27, 2010 at 4:39 pm
See,-I told you the stimulus was working. I feel a "stimulating clap session" coming on:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ah1aVKltznQ&fe...
4 SanFranNan // Jul 27, 2010 at 4:46 pm
Whoops, wrong link. Try this one:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o0HaTrlslyU
5 ChileSerrano // Jul 27, 2010 at 5:03 pm
I expect that President Obama will instruct Eric Holder to issue an Amber Alert shortly …
6 Hawkeye_R // Jul 28, 2010 at 1:40 am
"I can assure you that nobody in Washington D.C. wants to see that happen”…
I can assure you that nobody in my house wants Obama to remain in office another day. "Impeach Obama Now!"
7 camojack // Jul 28, 2010 at 5:14 am
Looks as though they let a crisis go to waste. Tsk, tsk…
8 SanFranNan // Jul 29, 2010 at 6:27 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5so2nwhjv-g
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