(2010-04-29) — A former staffer of the late Rep. John Murtha, D-PA, today announced that despite his neck-and-neck race with Republican Tim Burns, he will win the May 18th special election because House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has already earmarked the seat for him.
“My experience working with Jack Murtha prepares me not only to serve in his seat,” said Democrat candidate Mark Critz, “but to actually secure it without a literal up-or-down vote, in the same way that Jack and his colleagues channeled millions in federal funding to their districts for decades.”
Mr. Critz emphasized that the earmarking of the House seat was not for his own benefit, but like Mr. Murtha, his mentor, he was “securing it for family, friends and, at least indirectly, for other incidental residents of the 12th district.”
To voters concerned that a former Murtha insider might represent business as usual, the culture of insider dealing, and runaway federal spending, Mr. Critz said, “Nancy Pelosi has assured me she would do all in her magnificent power to keep Congress ethical and fiscally responsible.”
“In any case,” Mr. Critz added, “my Congressional seat is already earmarked, so the people of the 12th district can’t be blamed if things go wrong.”
13 responses so far ↓
1 boberin // Apr 29, 2010 at 12:31 pm
It's good to know that those folks won't be blamed. Love this line too…"and, at least indirectly, for other incidental residents of the 12th district.”
As long as they fet something (and not blame) what's the problem? No problem.
Funny Stuff Scott! Nearly as funny as AZ making it illegal to be in the state illegally. That kinda thing will never catch on, never!
2 ScrappleFace // Apr 29, 2010 at 12:44 pm
Speaking of which, I wrote this the other day on the non-satirical ScottOtt.org and it sparked a Facebook page that is now growing by leaps and bounds.
As San Francisco considers an ordinance to boycott Arizona products due to the state’s recent decision to enforce immigration laws, and several so-called civil rights groups take up the boycott call, I offer a counter protest: Buy Arizonan! … http://www.scottott.org/wordpress/?p=1060
3 boberin // Apr 29, 2010 at 12:50 pm
Even this "dyed in the wool" liberal cannot believe the furor this is generating. Enforce current laws/regulations? How absurd! We will NOT stand for that sort of thing.
Rediculous…seriously
4 onlineanalyst // Apr 29, 2010 at 6:14 pm
Madame Pelosi wields a big gavel in case those earmarks don't do the trick. Maybe Mark Critz want to investiage firsthand what really goes on in those House showers and workout rooms.
5 PA12: Timing Is Everything : The Other McCain // Apr 29, 2010 at 2:22 pm
[...] what one source called a “huge blunder” by Nancy Pelosi’s handpicked candidate.Scott Ott at Scrappleface jokes that Critz believes PA12 has been “earmarked” for him. Meanwhile, a column today at [...]
6 Hawkeye_R // Apr 29, 2010 at 9:35 pm
Her "big gavel" is near akin to a "sledge hammer".
7 Hawkeye_R // Apr 29, 2010 at 9:38 pm
"Without a literal up-or-down vote" sorta says it all, really. That's the way Congress seems to work these days. Without a vote. Without the proper number of votes. Without regard for the electorate. Without buying votes… oops. Scratch that last one.
8 camojack // Apr 30, 2010 at 4:27 am
I wouldn't doubt if Pelosi thinks that…and I hope that she is extremely disappointed, in the upcoming primary and (especially!) in November.
That scumbag Murtha was in office decades too long, anyway. Term limits for everyone!!!
9 boberin // Apr 30, 2010 at 12:57 pm
Amen to the term limits!
10 PA-12: Fan Video Supporting Tim Burns In PA-12 « Kicking Over My Traces // May 3, 2010 at 8:19 am
[...] Pelosi Earmarks Pa. House Seat for Murtha Staffer (scrappleface.com) [...]
11 hollylamb // May 19, 2010 at 4:21 am
Little did we know that she really did earmark that for him!
12 Critical Philosophy | PeopleBreeze // Feb 21, 2011 at 1:46 am
[...] factual because it is associated with historical facts. Example GOP Earmarks, Pelosi Earmarks. Those of us who regard Hulse statement as just an opinion are neglecting his reasoning for the [...]
13 Facts vs. Assumptions & how there are relate with opinions. | PeopleBreeze // Nov 30, 2011 at 12:30 am
[...] to be reasonably factual because it is associated with historical facts. Example GOP Earmarks, Pelosi Earmarks. Those of us who regard Hulse statement as just an opinion are neglecting his reasoning, for this [...]
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