(2009-08-07) — A day after unknown Russian hackers took down Twitter, and crippled Facebook, a spokesman for the Jonas Brothers said the Disney pop trio was “exhausted, a little freaked out, but resting safely in an undisclosed location.”
For several hours yesterday, as a distributed denial of service (DDOS) attack clogged social networking servers worldwide, the life-sustaining connection between Kevin, Joe and Nick Jonas and their adoring global fan base was severed, reducing communications to archaic tools like email.
Experts say children were hardest hit.
“I have no idea what Nick had for lunch yesterday,” said an 11-year-old girl from Passaic, NJ. “Is he okay? Did he get enough to eat? Does he like arugula? Was he thinking of me? I just don’t know. I feel so isolated. I almost took out a pen and wrote him a letter, but since I only communicate by text, IM and Twitter, I don’t really know all of my vowels yet.”
Agents for Miley Cyrus and Hannah Montana said they could not confirm the condition of their clients, but assured reporters that once they re-established communication, they would Tweet.
49 responses so far ↓
1 Darthmeister // Aug 7, 2009 at 3:00 pm
Let's have a beer and just get along with one another … tweet, tweet, tweet! Beer and whirled peas, just what the Messiah ordered! I mean, hackers need love, too!
2 Darthmeister // Aug 7, 2009 at 3:12 pm
Obama's Union Thugs At Work At Townhalls.
If all this turns violent, it will be on Obama's head now that he called out his union thugs and has engaged in inflammatory rhetoric. I suggest all grassroot Americans who oppose the healthcare Obamanation bring their own video cameras because it's pretty clear Democrat thugs will attempt to intimidate decent Americans by thrusting their video cameras in our faces and then lie about who is really engaging in intimidation tactics. Bunch of fascist brownshirts.
3 Josh // Aug 7, 2009 at 4:02 pm
Bummer. Conan O'Brien beat you to it. Not only did he have the Jonas Brothers on last night, he did a skit about Twitter failing and him not being able to track what was going on in celebrities' lives.
4 ScrappleFace // Aug 7, 2009 at 4:18 pm
What's what I get for not watching television at all. Let's hope most ScrappleFace readers go to bed early.
5 ScrappleFace // Aug 7, 2009 at 4:21 pm
That's what I get for not watching television at all. Let's hope most ScrappleFace readers go to bed early.
6 Jesse Raphial // Aug 7, 2009 at 4:30 pm
Did you see the muscles on Russian Emperor Putin, I believe he took down Twitter single-handed. Probably didn't like the name…Let us rally behind Facebook for the rematch…Jonas who?
7 ScrappleFace // Aug 7, 2009 at 4:45 pm
[Editor's Note: The vast media monitoring staff at ScrappleFace just watched part of The Tonight Show online, and while the Jonas Bros. appeared as guests, the video-assisted monologue joke was about Ashton Kutcher and Miley Cyrus. My attorney has advised me to comment no further. The ScrappleFace Enterprise Institute has no immediate plans to sue NBC or Mr. O'Brien for their preemptive use of a fractional-kernel of a ScrappleFace story idea.]
8 RAM1 // Aug 7, 2009 at 4:53 pm
"Twick or Tweet" sounds like something Barney Fwank may have said when he was a little child.
Possibly sometime last year.
9 daBunny // Aug 7, 2009 at 6:56 pm
The "War on Terrorism" is over. The "War on Conservatism" has begun. Conservatives are the "new terrorists" according the Obamarxists and the LSM.
10 SaneScrappler // Aug 7, 2009 at 7:38 pm
"The "War on Terrorism" is over. The "War on Conservatism" has begun."
It's beginning to look like, "Six of one, and a half dozen of the other"!
Everthink?
11 boberinyetagain // Aug 7, 2009 at 3:44 pm
Off to Bermuda with my blushing bride of 30 years. She’s blushing because she has to be seen with me but that’s another story…
Y’all be good while I’m gone…
12 boberinyetagain // Aug 7, 2009 at 3:46 pm
Hmm, my second post in a week and it gets eaten.
I get the message
13 Darthmeister // Aug 7, 2009 at 7:57 pm
Tweeeeeeet!
Carnahan staffer admits to baiting protestors
Another liberal dirty trick. I'm surprised some liberal hasn't screamed they are a "right-wing conservative" replete with stastika armband as they run up to throw a pie or slap a Donk Congresscritter in their face. Liberal activists can be such despicable animals for their "cause". Well, that's what happens when you belong to what amounts to a political cult.
14 Darthmeister // Aug 7, 2009 at 7:57 pm
Tweeeeeeet!
Carnahan staffer admits to baiting protestors
Another liberal dirty trick. I'm surprised some liberal hasn't screamed they are a "right-wing conservative" replete with stastika armband as they run up to throw a pie or slap a Donk Congresscritter in their face. Liberal activists can be such despicable animals for their "cause". Well, that's what happens when you belong to what amounts to a political cult.
15 Darthmeister // Aug 7, 2009 at 8:02 pm
Oh, and in honor of the journalistic practices of the national socialist media, I relegate this partial retraction on the fourteenth page of section C. The lady in question was not an OFFICIAL Carnahan staffer. She's simply your run-of-the-mill liberal moonbat who supports Carnahan and likes to provoke or intimidate the law abiding conservative/independent/libertarian citizenry. My original comment still stands.
16 boberinyetagain // Aug 7, 2009 at 8:04 pm
ooh, then we switch formats in mid stream and my post disappears again.
ttfn
et: love the photo
17 boberinyetagain // Aug 7, 2009 at 4:11 pm
Still a few gremlins in the system eh?
18 ScrappleFace // Aug 7, 2009 at 8:47 pm
Didn't see the other comment come through, Bob. Sorry for the inconvenience. Looks like the new system is running like it's supposed to and we should have all 51,000+ comments previously posted.
19 RAM1 // Aug 7, 2009 at 5:20 pm
"Twick or Tweet"!____Halloween is early this year!____Jesse: Putin heard so much about the good reviews Obama got from his "slobbering" worshippers when he was shown without a shirt last year, and got jealous.____Well, that and being a little embarrassed when standing side by side recently with Obama towering over the little fella!
Doesn't Putin know that unless he wears a shirt, he will NOT be able to tuck his hand inside it as did that other "little fella" Napoleon?
20 JamesonLewis3rd // Aug 7, 2009 at 9:34 pm
Speaking of hilarity.
21 SaneScrappler // Aug 7, 2009 at 9:45 pm
Thanks boberin, I'm glad you like it.
Darthmeister,
One of the many problems with your rants, is that they are always filled with the same goofy hate names.
I have made a list of words that I expect to find in everything you write. You have used most of them for years, … again, … and again. Crazy as they are, they have lost their impact!
Although the others here don't seem to want to tell you, your boilerplate is also getting awfully old, and your conspiracy notions are so intense, that many question your rationality.
So, put down your weapons, and come out with your fingers laced on top of your head.
We Democrats, will give you some milk and cookies, and get you some help.
Everthink?
22 RAM1 // Aug 7, 2009 at 10:15 pm
Don't you mean beer and Wagyu steak L@Y?
Or do you REALLY mean liberal Kool-Ade?
23 SaneScrappler // Aug 7, 2009 at 11:20 pm
Wagyu Steak!?
Duh,
14-oz Morgan Ranch Wagyu Thick Ribeye / Delmonico Steak
Price $300 (10-steak pack).
http://www.morganranchinc.com/2858.htm?gclid=CNn3...
That's $3.00 per 14 oz. Steak! What's wrong with you people? Just eat your ALPO and try to keep quiet about it, why don't you?
Over and over again, some dimwit here will think he has found a loose thread and call in an air strike!
The only interest Democrats could ever have in what you people eat, might be in an effort to find the cause of your dysfunction.
Everthink?
24 SaneScrappler // Aug 7, 2009 at 11:20 pm
Wagyu Steak!?
Duh,
14-oz Morgan Ranch Wagyu Thick Ribeye / Delmonico Steak
Price $300 (10-steak pack).
http://www.morganranchinc.com/2858.htm?gclid=CNn3...
That's $3.00 per 14 oz. Steak! What's wrong with you people? Just eat your ALPO and try to keep quiet about it, why don't you?
Over and over again, some dimwit here will think he has found a loose thread, and call in an air strike!
The only interest Democrats could ever have in what you people eat, might be in an effort to find the cause of your dysfunction.
Everthink?
25 SaneScrappler // Aug 7, 2009 at 11:37 pm
Jameson, by golly, you are right!
Now, that is pricey, ain't it?
I'm going to have to tell cook to stop serving it three more than twice a week!
Still, it's OK if the president eats it often, but, I don't think he should waste it on Repugs who stay to supper.
Everthink?
26 SaneScrappler // Aug 7, 2009 at 11:39 pm
Jameson, by golly, you are right!
Now, that is pricey, ain't it?
I'm going to have to tell cook to stop serving it more than twice a week!
Still, it's OK if the president eats it often, but, I don't think he should waste it on Repugs who stay to supper.
Everthink?
27 cameljockey // Aug 7, 2009 at 11:48 pm
"I almost took out a pen and wrote him a letter, but since I only communicate by text, IM and Twitter, I don’t really know all of my vowels yet."
Sad, but true.
28 gafisher // Aug 8, 2009 at 12:17 am
I usually stay up past my bedtime, but not to watch TV, and certainly not Conan.
Xena, maybe, but not Conan.
29 gafisher // Aug 8, 2009 at 12:23 am
It's easy to spot the "New Terrorists," da Bunny — they're the ones with their noses broken by the Thugocrat ACORN/UAW/SEIU "Sweetness and Light" Brigade.
30 gafisher // Aug 8, 2009 at 12:24 am
"Amounts to?"
31 gafisher // Aug 8, 2009 at 12:25 am
Aw, rats!
32 Papanick // Aug 8, 2009 at 12:50 am
Well expensive cuts of what he ate…He was Taken, LOL FDLOL.
Just as stupid as Clinton's haircut. Two con men taken by better ones.
Angus the scot.
33 Libby Gone // Aug 8, 2009 at 1:15 am
Sad but relevant note,
John Hughes director of 1980's comedies (Sixteen Candles, Bfast Club, Vacation etc….) Died at 59 this week. The morning show guys here in MITCH CHEE GON (WRIF- Drew and Mike) noted how those high school themed movies all depicted angst bearing teenagers WITH NO CELL PHONES!
Maybe we'd be better off with less instant communication. Take the time write a letter before we sink into an Idiocracy.
34 gafisher // Aug 7, 2009 at 9:40 pm
Funny to see what happens to the order of the comments when IntenseDebate turns on and off …
wv - existence Machine - Albert Camus would really have liked one of these …
35 gafisher // Aug 8, 2009 at 1:52 am
Reuters: "Cash-strapped Cuba says toilet paper running short"
In an unprecedented action bypassing his own country's longstanding embargo, President Obama ordered an immediate airlift of a billions dollars in newly printed U.S. currency to the island paradise. Reaction from the Cuban government was immediate, including a statement by Raul Castro that, while the banknotes won't buy their weight in toilet paper, they actually function as an acceptable replacement.
36 gafisher // Aug 8, 2009 at 1:54 am
Reuters: "Cash-strapped Cuba says toilet paper running short"
In an unprecedented action bypassing his own country's longstanding embargo, President Obama ordered an immediate airlift of a billion dollars in newly printed U.S. currency to the island paradise. Reaction from the Cuban government was immediate, including a statement by Raul Castro that, while the banknotes aren't worth their weight in toilet paper, they actually function quite well as a replacement.
37 Darthmeister // Aug 8, 2009 at 1:58 am
I got an idea. If those bleeding-heart Congresscritters are really concerned about the average American's healthcare needs, why don't these morons pass a bill that would create a voucher system that would give each American family the "right" to have access to the same health and medical care system these Congresscritters get themselves? I bet dollars to donuts it would be cheaper than this Obamanation healthcare sham that's being crammed down our throats.
And who will take me up on a ten dollar bet that more than five percent of those Congressional cockroaches who are willing to vote for ObamaCare will put themselves and their families into the new nationalized healthcare system?
38 Darthmeister // Aug 8, 2009 at 2:12 am
News update on the SEIU and Union thuggery that resulted in the beating of a black conservative at the Carnahan (D-Moon) town meeting. Jim Hoft gives a first-person account where racial epithets and a beating were administered by either one union members or an SEIU member was acting as a "security" thug: “Tomorrow, Saturday, the St. Louis Tea Party Coalition is holding a rally at the local SEIU headquarters. We are going to demand justice for Kenneth Gladney, who was brutally beaten on Thursday night. The St. Louis Coalition will request that the NAACP and the ACLU come out in support of Kenneth Gladney’s rights which were trampled by the union hooligans.”
Questions. Will the national socialist media mention this brutal beating replete with racial slurs or will it ignore it? Will the NAACP and the ACLU support Mr. Gladney's rights to express opinions contrary to the liberal brownshirts who are intimidating grassroots Americans? Will Mr. Obama take responsibility for inciting violent behavior in his cult followers who were told to "get in their faces" and to bring guns to a knife fight?
39 Darthmeister // Aug 8, 2009 at 2:14 am
gafisher, I'm sure it beats the toilet paper that came out of Soviet Union while they were its client state. But I'm not sure what makes better toilet paper, Pravda or the New York Times. It's probably a tie.
40 JamesonLewis3rd // Aug 8, 2009 at 2:19 am
Democrat party idol and spokesman holds a secret press conference and makes light of this victim of his own criminal gang.
41 JamesonLewis3rd // Aug 7, 2009 at 11:43 pm
-> $300 / 10 = $30 <-
That's $34.29 per pound which is, actually, a way better deal than BHO got when he had that drunken bacchanal last January.
42 gafisher // Aug 8, 2009 at 2:09 am
Reuters: "Cash-strapped Cuba says toilet paper running short"
In an unprecedented action bypassing his own country's longstanding embargo, President Obama today ordered an immediate airlift of a billion dollars in newly printed U.S. currency to the island paradise. Reaction from the Cuban government was immediate, including a statement by Raul Castro that, while "Obama Dollars" aren't worth their weight in toilet paper, they actually function quite well as a replacement.
43 RAM1 // Aug 8, 2009 at 7:05 am
Before long we will know the true identity of L@Y, as he has been arrested in Michigan and now has a criminal record. The story is here:
http://www.wishtv.com/dpp/news/strange/offbeat_ap...
44 Twitter Updates for 2009-08-08 | 7.62mm Justice // Aug 8, 2009 at 5:02 am
[...] some funny shit right there… #twitterdown http://www.scrappleface.com/?p=4027 [...]
45 gafisher // Aug 8, 2009 at 11:54 am
Mr. Gladney stated "… I was just there trying to…make an honest dollar …"
Someone like that shows up at a Democrat's office, you've got to wonder why …
46 gafisher // Aug 8, 2009 at 11:56 am
RAM1 Re "Before long …"
Why? How? Was that one of those dope-sniffing dogs?
47 Darthmeister // Aug 8, 2009 at 12:23 pm
The Thug-in-Chief speaks out against patriotic dissent: "Folks who created the mess do a lot of talking. I want them to get out of the way so we can clean up the mess. I don’t mind cleaning up after them, but don’t do a lot of talking.”
Was he talking about Barney Fwank, Maxine Waters and Chris Dodd?
Instapundit's response to the present White House thuggery:
For Barack Obama, democracy appears to be a distraction. He really does seem to view himself as a Caesar.
Shortly after taking office, Obama held a meeting with governors. At the time, one person in the room relayed Obama’s request that critics and skeptics of the stimulus plan keep their concerns to themselves. Just let me do it, was his attitude. He got pushback and he wasn’t happy. He wanted democratically elected state governors to shut up so he could do as he pleased. He knows better and we should respect that, seems to be the attitude.
48 daBunny // Aug 9, 2009 at 1:02 am
Yes, gafisher. They're also the ones not wearing the "purple SEIU" t-shirts, or the "red" ACORN ones. Red IS a fitting color for the ACORN commies.
49 RAM1 // Aug 9, 2009 at 1:49 am
That is true Darth. I also understand he has personally been retraining "Bo" how to place his "business" in strategic places on the White House lawn so it can fertalize Michelle's victory garden.
Someone needs to tell him though, a good dog trainer can teach "Bo" WITHOUT actually "going" on the lawn to show the dog how to do it. The pictures of O-blah-blah without a shirt were sickening enough, we do NOT need any without his pants!
I guess Biden, Obama, and Gates doing "number one" behind the trees,near the garden, during the beer summit altered the places "Bo" was doing his "number two".
Apparently a dirty mutt CAN teach a new dog, old tricks.
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