(2009-08-05) — Just hours after former U.S. President Bill Clinton left North Korea, successful in securing pardons for two American journalists, the official news agency of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea (DPRK) announced that President Kim Jong-Il has offered “a large reward” to any citizen who captures an American so he can trade the hostage for a visit from Paula Abdul.
Ms. Abdul, who yesterday announced her departure from the hit TV series ‘American Idol’, “should have some time on her hands now, like Bill Clinton does,” according to the KCNA news agency. “She would be assured a private audience with the Dear Leader, and be treated like a head of state, just like the American president.”
Mr. Clinton and Mr. Kim reportedly discussed a wide-range of global issues, and in accord with a pre-negotiated agreement, Mr. Clinton autographed Mr. Kim’s copy of the DVD ‘Wag the Dog.’
North Korea plans to launch several more ballistic missiles this month to “celebrate our Dear Leader’s magnificent power in compelling President Clinton to appear before him, and as a means to induce other celebrities to come to Pyongyang.”
40 responses so far ↓
1 JamesonLewis3rd // Aug 5, 2009 at 8:33 am
God Bless America
2 boberinyetagain // Aug 5, 2009 at 8:56 am
And East Timor, never forget to ask for blessiings for East Timor…ever
3 onlineanalyst // Aug 5, 2009 at 9:05 am
I’m more than skeptical about the WH’s denial of its role in the release of the kidnap victims. The deniability is less than plausible. What were the terms of this release?
On the other hand, was Billy J trying to expiate the sins of Albright’s concessions to Li’l Kim? What did we give away to NoKo during those golden years?
Li’l Kim may have wanted an evening with Michael Jackson as part of the negotiation, but Jackson was unavailable for comment. And while Asians may be partial to blonds for their exoticness, Bill was not able to trade Hillary for the hostages. Li’l Kim recognizes color from a bottle, shrewd bargainer in human lives that he is.
4 Laughing@You // Aug 5, 2009 at 10:09 am
The Lord be praised!
Euna Lee and Laura Ling are home! All America rejoices.
Laura Lee said this morning the she and her sister were awaiting transfer to a hard labor camp when they were told that they must attend a meeting. Being fearful, they did not know what to expect. When they arrived at the meeting place they were taken to a door.
When that door opened, they saw former President Bill Clinton standing before them, and they knew they were going to be freed from their harsh captivity.
This writer was still wondering what would have happened if Dumbyah was still president, when it was learned that there had been a mix up. It seems when the North Korean’s said they would like to meet the former president as a condition of release, they actually meant they wanted to get their hands on the “presidiot”.
Thankfully, Mr. Clinton was able to explain that Dumbyah had joined the cryptkeeper in his famous “undisclosed location” in fear of being ask to make the trip, stating instead, “He had other priorities”.
Everthink?
5 Laughing@You // Aug 5, 2009 at 10:12 am
North Koreans
that she and her sister
6 Laughing@You // Aug 5, 2009 at 10:47 am
Say, y’all remember when Dumbyah was about as far along in his first term, as President Obama is now, when the Chinese shipped that big U. S. Navy Airplane home in pieces?
Dang, weren’t those the days?
Everthink?
7 onlineanalyst // Aug 5, 2009 at 11:09 am
#6: This event occurred, of course, after the Clintons “sold” a number of “secrets” to the Red Chinese.
Was Billy J just looking out for his buddy algore, whose Current media, were responsible for the kidnapping to begin with?
Why has Obamao dismissed federal prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald, who was probing corruption in Illinois and in the Daley machine in Chicago? Was the probe getting too close to the Beer-Diplomat-in-Chief?
8 onlineanalyst // Aug 5, 2009 at 11:23 am
In re the NoKo hostages and Billy J’s role, I think that John Bolton has the better argument.
9 Laughing@You // Aug 5, 2009 at 11:32 am
“This event occurred, of course, after the Clintons “sold” a number of “secrets” to the Red Chinese.”
Where did you get this?
“Was Billy J just looking out for his buddy algore, whose Current media, were responsible for the kidnapping to begin with?”
Responsible? Where did you get this?
“Why has Obamao dismissed federal prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald, who was probing corruption in Illinois and in the Daley machine in Chicago? Was the probe getting too close to the Beer-Diplomat-in-Chief?”
I bet your sources in all of these have something in common; they are from Wing-Nut sites.
OLA, you seem to be an intelligent person, don’t let paranoia distort this blessing.
At least view these sources with reasonable skepticism, and be slower to state their propaganda as fact.
If you fail to do this, you could windup completely whacked.
Everthink?
10 Darthmeister // Aug 5, 2009 at 11:34 am
I wonder what kind of quid pro quo arrangements Mr. Clinton arranged with Kim Jong Mentally Il to get the journalists released. I guess the rest of the story is yet to be told.
However, I wished Mr. Clinton had been just as diplomatic with the Branch Davidians while they were under siege by Jane el Reno’s FBI/ATF/Delta Force assault troops. Given what just transpired in NoKo, I guess if the Davidians had been journalists they would have gotten more help from President Clinton before they were incinerated.
It’s interesting how liberals are always blah-blahing about the importance of communication and diplomatic kowtowing when it comes to vicious regimes yet when it comes to “understanding” and “compromising” with their own conservative countrymen all we get is snarling and vicious hate and the backside of their night sticks. Witness how the Dems have operated behind closed doors, locking out Republicans and conservatives whenever they can. Go figure, but I guess that’s what double-standard hypocrites do.
11 Laughing@You // Aug 5, 2009 at 11:41 am
“John Bolton has the better argument.”
That’s all he has, an argument. That’s all he has even had, and that’s all he ever will have.
That will be his little monument, he will never have a non-destructive answer to anything.
Still he has his few admirers. The few, the arrogant, and … the insane.
Everthink?
12 Laughing@You // Aug 5, 2009 at 11:43 am
“I wonder what kind of quid pro quo arrangements Mr. Clinton arranged with Kim Jong Mentally Il to get the journalists released.”
Only Drudge knows.
Everthink?
13 Darthmeister // Aug 5, 2009 at 11:44 am
I guess Bill Clinton is trying to undo the real Clinton legacy.
Apparently its working with the Obamabots.
Information that should be found at a real Clinton Memorial Library.
Having said that, I still wouldn’t mind going fishing or pheasant hunting with the man. At least he’s more genuine American then the fraud Obama.
14 onlineanalyst // Aug 5, 2009 at 11:59 am
L@Y: Demonstrate with facts that my remarks are not accurate rather than mocking the statements. Your debate skills would improve exponentially with a little research.
Here is a little tidbit: “Blame Clinton, not China for the Security Leaks at Los Alamos”
15 Laughing@You // Aug 5, 2009 at 1:01 pm
OLA,
Why is the burden of proof mine?
American jurisprudence places this responsibility on the accuser.
In this treasonous issue you must make your case beyond a reasonable doubt. You must reach this high standard because you make a charge of a Capital crime.
You not only continually post charges that no prosecutor would endorse, but that no reputable news source would even publish.
Your sources are as bogus as the charges, of late, about the president place of birth.
Again, and again, courts have rejected these claims, yet the sources like the ones you cite continue to post them. Sites which incite the simple-minded and fearful to violence based on lies and bigotry.
It is not my burden to to prove you wrong, it is yours to validate your sources.
Your debate skills would improve exponentially with an increase in your understanding of logic.
Everthink?
16 upnorthlurkin // Aug 5, 2009 at 1:10 pm
Just wondering if old Slick hit on the two chicks…?
17 onlineanalyst // Aug 5, 2009 at 1:23 pm
L@Y: Your reasoning skills would increase if your reading comprehension and critical thinking skills would improve. Work on that will you?
BTW What court cases that have “prove<n) me wrong" are you citing? Link, please.
I don't have a "problem" with Obamao's "place of birth." I have a problem with whether Obama had dual citizenship when he was adopted as Barry Soetero in Indonesia and how he traveled to Pock-ee-ston when Americans were prohibited from traveling there. On what kind of passport did he travel?
This administration is by far one of the least "transparent. It is corrupt beyond contempt, relying on thug and fascistic tactics to impose its will. Nixon never had an enemies' list as lengthy as the failed presidency of Obama.
18 Laughing@You // Aug 5, 2009 at 4:52 pm
Naw, “Old Slick” went to North Korea, not Argentina, or Appalachian Trail Hiking!
So long as he leaves the Congressional Pages alone, and stays out of airport restrooms maybe you Republicans shouldn’t worry so much.
Then again, if he starts paying call girls, or fooling with one of his campaign workers wives, and bribing people to cover it up, maybe you should be a little concerned.
Until then keep on pointing!
Everthink?
19 Darthmeister // Aug 5, 2009 at 5:46 pm
… push.
20 Darthmeister // Aug 5, 2009 at 5:53 pm
Rasmussen: 71% of Americans Say Obama’s Policies Have Driven Up Deficits
That is, Obama has deepened the recession that Democrat majorities laid the groundwork for two years previously in Congress.
21 Darthmeister // Aug 5, 2009 at 9:21 pm
Apparently there were some quid pro quo machinations with the release of the “journalists”.
With Obama involved, he’ll embolden the likes of Kim Jong Il. Eventually there will be NoKo nukes on the event horizon I bet.
Maybe NoKo will become the 59th Amerikan state.
22 papanick // Aug 5, 2009 at 11:39 pm
OMGoodness….
I forgot all about Clinton’s double wide trailer, Library. But what do you expect for Trailer Trash.
23 papanick // Aug 5, 2009 at 11:45 pm
L@Y
You always sign off “ever think”
Well, why don’t you be the example
and think about yourself, as in the wrong.
We know the truth and he is
Jesus, the son of God. Not abunch of goons
in the White house.
24 papanick // Aug 5, 2009 at 11:49 pm
Bilbo doesn’t go anywhere unless he’s paid.
So kimmi will have to pay Paula to visit.
Wonder what here share is of Her Concert apearances?
25 camojack // Aug 6, 2009 at 12:26 am
Straight Up?
26 Laughing@You // Aug 6, 2009 at 12:53 am
papanick
“And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.” Matthew 7:23 KJV
Don’t let your pride puff you up so.
“Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.” Proverbs 16:18 KJV
The true believer has nothing for which to be proud, but much for which to be grateful to the Lord.
The spirit of the anti-Christ rules the Religious Right.
“Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.” 2 Timothy 3:5 KJV
Everthink?
27 JamesonLewis3rd // Aug 6, 2009 at 5:18 am
C. H. Spurgeon
28 Scott Ott // Aug 6, 2009 at 5:43 am
[Editor's Note: ScrappleFace is the world's leading family-friendly news satire source. Lately, family, there's been way too much fighting at the dinner table. The vast editorial staff at ScrappleFace will begin exercising its paternal discretion to hush conversation that spoils the meal for everyone. If you feel you must fight, get your jackets on and take it outside. Don't bother complaining about why a particular comment was deleted. The VES@S doesn't play favorites, and won't respond to such inquiries.
Keep in mind...some day each one of us will stop breathing, grow very still and our livers will cease production of bile. Your relatives (Mom, spouse, children, siblings) may Google your name (even your screen name) eager to virtually reconnect with the one they miss so much.
Now is your opportunity to write in a such a way that your relatives will miss you even more. Better yet, write in a manner that makes your ideological opponents mourn the loss.
Perhaps before that day, a post will appear here announcing the passing of a Scrappler upon whom you showered gallons of vitriol. If you have an astute conscience, you might wish at that time that you had tapped the 'delete' key more, or paused for a cup of Bosco before clicking the 'Submit' button.
Consider that our opponents are also persons with families, and needs, and emotions. Hiding behind a pseudonym of bravado is a human who needs dignity and love. Thank You.]
29 JamesonLewis3rd // Aug 6, 2009 at 5:46 am
Thank you, Scott. God Bless You.
30 JamesonLewis3rd // Aug 6, 2009 at 11:57 am
I like intensedebate.
31 Upnorthlurkin // Aug 6, 2009 at 1:18 pm
This is a test isn't it?! I'm getting too old for all these new-fangled gadgets!
32 Maggie // Aug 6, 2009 at 2:22 pm
Help!!!! What is happening to Scraappleface?
33 Upnorthlurkin // Aug 6, 2009 at 3:03 pm
Well, you did beautifully, Maggie! Now you just need an "avitar" so you don't look like a bank robber….
34 JamesonLewis3rd // Aug 6, 2009 at 4:28 pm
Yes, another czar has been introduced.
35 Maggie // Aug 6, 2009 at 4:31 pm
I'm so confused: have I entered Obamaland?
This is the 3rd time I've tried to post .
36 Upnorthlurkin // Aug 6, 2009 at 6:06 pm
It's easily understood, Darth…Those who believe in nothing will believe anything. It' especially true for these Obot trools(that's combo troll/tool)
37 Upnorthlurkin // Aug 6, 2009 at 6:07 pm
It's easily understood, Darth…Those who believe in nothing will believe anything. It's especially true for these Obot trools(that's combo troll/tool)
38 Darthmeister // Aug 6, 2009 at 5:13 pm
[Editor's Note: Here's a sample of how a comment could be made a bit more civil.]
Projecting again,
neverthink? You really ought to get a mental health professional to check that out since youonce again can't get the facts right. The shoe is actually on the other foot,it is lying liberals and the Democratic Party that embrace the spirit of the anti-Christ.Look at all the fawning Obamabots[supporters] on your side of the aisle who thinks Obama is some kind of messiah …a classic earmark of the "spirit of the anti-Christ." No cigar for you, chump.Leftist ThinkProgress Blog Dupes Liberal "Mainstream" Media With Faux Protest Story
Figures. And now it turns out that it is the Democrats, led by none other than their fearless messiah Mr. Obama, who are "astroturfing" and are doing so from the top-down. Whatever union mobs and radical left-wing lunatics that Mr. Obama can agitate in hopes of intimidating genuine grassroots opposition to the healthcare [abomination]
Obamanationwill once again demonstrate the fascist nature of the closet brownshirts who inhabit the Democrat Party.39 SaneScrappler // Aug 6, 2009 at 9:19 pm
"Those who believe in nothing will believe anything."
Lurch,
Who whispered that into your ear? Was it Satan (The accuser of the faithful)?
Everthink?
40 RAM1 // Aug 8, 2009 at 6:58 am
Scott, I haven't had BOSCO in years so I clicked the link. Then I saw this item listed:
Bosco Sugar Free Chocolate Syrup
One (1) 18oz. Bottle
That is almost sacreligious!!!!
No baby boomer would use ANYTHING but "full strength" BOSCO!!!
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