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After Green Speech, Hillary Returns from Europe on Bicycle

by Scott Ott for ScrappleFace · 41 Comments · · Print This Story Print This Story

(2009-03-06) — U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton delivered a bold challenge in the European Parliament Friday, encouraging her audience to “never waste a good crisis” and seize this moment of global turmoil to build less carbon-dependent economies.

To demonstrate her commitment to clean, green transportation technology, Secretary Clinton will abandon her State Department jet and return to the United States astride an experimental flying bicycle.

The bike, built with a $735 million government grant as part of the Kansas-based ‘Project Elmira’, is just one of many advanced energy-security solutions that make up what some have dubbed ‘The New Green Deal’ of the Obama administration.

Like most green initiatives, the flying bicycle “requires some getting used to,” said a State Department spokesman. “But when you look out your window and see Hillary Clinton pedaling by in the clouds, laughing with joy, you realize the future is closer than you think.”

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Tags: Global News · Technology · U.S. News

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41 responses so far ↓

  • 1 onlineanalyst // Mar 6, 2009 at 9:15 am

    I think that I will reprise the “Fat-Bottomed Girls” reference here,

    The only thing Green that this administration is sponsoring is Land of Oz fantasy. It’s certainly not real cash for the serfs.

  • 2 Maggie // Mar 6, 2009 at 9:25 am

    The bike must be a broom with a banana seat.

  • 3 DasPoetica // Mar 6, 2009 at 9:30 am

    She doesn’t even remotely look like Margret Hamilton!

  • 4 boberinyetagain // Mar 6, 2009 at 9:36 am

    Now Maggie, that isn’t nice…accurate perhaps…but not nice

  • 5 gafisher // Mar 6, 2009 at 9:53 am

    “I’ll get you, my Party!”

  • 6 gafisher // Mar 6, 2009 at 10:01 am

    Wait a minute — seems to me the adventure began with a house dropping on a witch, not the other way around …

    Ah, but this is the Less than Frank OBauma version.

  • 7 boberinyetagain // Mar 6, 2009 at 10:01 am

    And your little dog too!

  • 8 gafisher // Mar 6, 2009 at 10:36 am

    En toto.

  • 9 JamesonLewis3rd // Mar 6, 2009 at 10:38 am

    Green Speech + The Hill & Bill Show = The Exorcist + The Wizard of Oz
    :shock:
    Not a pretty picture.

  • 10 Left Coast-Right Mind // Mar 6, 2009 at 11:09 am

    I’m sure the sky-writing of “Surrender America” is just a coincidence, right?

    Somehow, I don’t think Obama’s slogan, “Now that’s a President of a diff’rent color”, is going to work too much longer, even if it did get him elected.

    But if Secretary Hillary did have to pedal some of the way back to Washington, her legs would probably look a lot like Michelle’s arms.

    But a valiant effort Mr. Ott, and unlike some of your other articles, we knew right away that this was satire due to the fact that the rules that elitists of Obama’s character (or lack thereof) and his minions do not apply to themselves. In fact, Hillary probably came back on two private jets, one for her and one for her luggage.

  • 11 ‘After Green Speech, Hillary Returns from Europe on Bicycle’ | The Daily Scroll // Mar 6, 2009 at 12:07 pm

    [...] ‘After Green Speech, Hillary Returns from Europe on Bicycle’ March 6, 2009 ScrappleFace [...]

  • 12 JQ // Mar 6, 2009 at 12:27 pm

    Duh da-duh-duh duuuh duh…Duh da-duh-duh duuuh duh…

    Awesome stuff, Scott. I seriously can’t get that picture out of my head now.

  • 13 Deerslayer // Mar 6, 2009 at 12:30 pm

    Let’s see…651,000 jobs shed in February but we expected closer to 700,000. Does that mean that we “saved” 49,000 jobs already?
    I’m still trying to figure out how the disappearance of 10.3 trillion dollars from the stock market is actually making my life better.
    Guess back in my college days when my advisor said that to complete my Economics Minor, I should take a course in Imaginary Numbers.

  • 14 boberinyetagain // Mar 6, 2009 at 12:31 pm

    JQ, long time no read…how the heck have you been?

  • 15 boberinyetagain // Mar 6, 2009 at 12:33 pm

    Deer…I’m still trying to figure out how the disappearance of 10.3 trillion dollars from the stock market is actually making my life better.

    silly person, that 10.3 trillion you don’t have to worry about…ever again. Consider yourself truly blessed

  • 16 RedRum151 // Mar 6, 2009 at 12:35 pm

    From the linked article: “Europe has already laid out plans to cut carbon dioxide emissions to about a fifth below 1990 levels in the next decade …”

    Piece o’ cake. Their economies are ALREADY about a fifth below 1990 levels . . .

  • 17 JQ // Mar 6, 2009 at 12:51 pm

    Boberin- Pretty good. I’ve got Scrappleface on my RSS reader, so I never miss an article. I just can’t afford the time it takes to follow a thread of conversation through this forum. Maybe it’s a touch of OCD, but I can’t put it down once I pick it up again.

  • 18 JQ // Mar 6, 2009 at 12:54 pm

    Deerslayer, if you makes you feel any better, just remember that the 10.3 trillion dollars were never really there in the first place… :)

  • 19 RedPepper // Mar 6, 2009 at 2:06 pm

    Deerslayer: Chaos Theory is another field of study that might have been useful, IMHO.

    Meanwhile, back in the jungle, investors are looking for new cliffs to hurl themselves (and their stocks) from; the Dow has lost another ~50 points so far today.
    But hey! look on the bright side - every day it gets cheaper for the government to buy more stock in these failing enterprises in order to “bail them out”. For example, Citigroup closed at $23/share on 10-1-2008, at $14.68 on 11-4-2008, and at $1.02 on 3-5-2009; this despite the ~$50 billion the government has commited to “bail” them out (so far …).

    Silly me; I always thought the idea was to fix the hole in the bottom of the boat first.

  • 20 boberinyetagain // Mar 6, 2009 at 2:14 pm

    JQ, my thought exactly…it was never there to begin with, just a ponzi scheme. Like the “Madoff billions”…the lions share of that was never there to begin with…but the loss, real or imagined…still stings a tad.

  • 21 Deerslayer // Mar 6, 2009 at 2:29 pm

    Perhaps it wasn’t there (it actually was but that’s another topic) but I could have sold some and bought a new GM vehicle last September and today I’d have to sell it all to buy new tires for my existing vehicle. BTW, today you could buy GM for 1.3 billion dollars and they are asking the American taxpayer for about 10 billion.. It’s time for someone to wake up and say enough

  • 22 boberinyetagain // Mar 6, 2009 at 2:59 pm

    yawwwnnn…ENOUGH

    That oughtta do it…

  • 23 gafisher // Mar 6, 2009 at 3:53 pm

    “I would like to present you with a little gift that represents what President Obama and Vice President Biden and I have been saying and that is: … OVERCHARGE!
    . . . . . . . . . . . . . Secretary of Mistakes Hillary Clinton

  • 24 boberinyetagain // Mar 6, 2009 at 4:27 pm

    She does seem to be on a roll of late. Been hanging around bit Biden too much

  • 25 Ms RightWing, Ink // Mar 6, 2009 at 4:57 pm

    Scott:

    Hillary + bicycle=A hot day in Kansas. Boy I saw that one coming.
    *********************************************************
    Department of Spoofs and Fakery
    Last known address: Somewhere in Chicago or Washington D.C

    Dear Mr. Obama

    If you were truly president then why is your name still not corrected on any spell check?

    A wise general in the early 1900’s once said:

    “A mouse trap: easy to enter but not easy to get out of.”
    Arthur James Balfour

    I am not going to take a paragraph to explain one sentence.

    As Always, diligent and a strong patriot

    Ms RightWing , Ink

  • 26 Libby Gone // Mar 6, 2009 at 6:57 pm

    Hopefully she won’t encounter any turban u lances…..

  • 27 mindknumbed kid // Mar 6, 2009 at 7:03 pm

    So when the mess- sigh-uhhhhh rides this new bicycle does it fly through the air or travel on the surface of large bodies of water?

  • 28 mindknumbed kid // Mar 6, 2009 at 7:06 pm

    Ms RW, I don’t want his name corrected on my spell check, history will reveal that Barack Obama will always be just plain wrong.

  • 29 Newsman // Mar 6, 2009 at 7:09 pm

    Sheesh, where is Nancy Reagan and her soothsayers, tea leaf readers and assorted horoscope fortune tellers when we need then ?

  • 30 mindknumbed kid // Mar 6, 2009 at 7:10 pm

    Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain - so that is who is in charge of what is on the teleprompters!

  • 31 mindknumbed kid // Mar 6, 2009 at 7:12 pm

    Newsman - Late night talk radio, they brought out the tarot cards last night…

  • 32 mindknumbed kid // Mar 6, 2009 at 7:29 pm

    I guess anyone can be President. You get a staff of speech writers and a teleprompter! Ignorant in the area of economics? No problem, just think of everything you ever wanted to do and have them work it into speeches as to how you are going to fix things regardless what common sense tells you about the negative impact of doing it. Not sure about entertaining dignitaries? No worries, nothing entertains like CD’s and DVD’s, if the recipient doesn’t share your taste in movies or music at least it was inexpensive and if the recipient has enough clout they can get them exchanged or refunded at Walmart! It’s all in the ability to articulate, not in having something to articulate. This Obama fellow is lowering the bar, come 2012 we may see the likes of Britney Spears on the ballot, providing that she can read…

  • 33 mindknumbed kid // Mar 6, 2009 at 7:32 pm

    New course at all major colleges next semester - Teleprompters 101.

  • 34 mindknumbed kid // Mar 6, 2009 at 7:58 pm

    re#23 - Symbolism over substance…

  • 35 Ms RightWing, Ink // Mar 6, 2009 at 8:25 pm

    I stand corrected from a fellow Scrappler . The above quote (re:25) was actually spoken by Clara Lucas Balfour (1808-1878), the English temperance leader.

    Sorry

    Gee I wonder if I will ever say anything that will go down in history. Eh, likely not.

  • 36 Fred Sinclair // Mar 7, 2009 at 2:06 am

    In this day and age with the usurper and his gang of henchmen (henchpersons?) daily spreading their muck of ‘doom & gloom’, an exciting ray of sunshine breaks through and stands out like a diamond in a barrel of rhinestones.

    Five More States Invoke the 10th
    by A.W.R. Hawkins
    Posted 03/04/2009 ET
    Updated 03/05/2009 ET

    Last week, HUMAN EVENTS reported that eleven states, Washington, New Hampshire, Arizona, Montana, Michigan, Missouri, Oklahoma, Minnesota, Georgia, South Carolina, and Texas, had all “all introduced bills and resolutions” declaring their sovereignty over Obama’s actions in light of the 10th Amendment.

    These actions are in response to the Obama administration’s faux-“stimulus” legislation which directly assaults the rights of states to reject the money coming from the federal government. So far, several Republican governors — among them South Carolina’s Mark Sanford and Louisiana’s Bobby Jindal — have said they would refuse all or part of the stimulus money because of the constitutional infringements and because of the additional unfunded liabilities they impose on the states.

    This week, HUMAN EVENTS is happy to report that five more states have decided to invoke the 10th as well.

    These five — Tennessee, Kentucky, Kansas, Indiana, and West Virginia — have all begun their action under the 10th Amendment in a bid to protect themselves from what they view as nothing less than an unconstitutional usurpation of power on the part of the Obama administration.

    Arizona, Georgia, Indiana, Kansas, Kentucky, Michigan, Minnesota, Missouri, Montana, New Hampshire, Oklahoma, South Carolina, Tennessee, Texas, Washington and West Virginia.

  • 37 Laughing@You // Mar 7, 2009 at 2:46 am

    “I guess anyone can be President. You get a staff of speech writers and teleprompter!”

    By gosh, I think you have discovered the key!

    I guess old McDuffy and sassy Sarah didn’t have speech writers and teleprompters,

    Too bad you couldn’t have told somebody before Bobby Jindal made such a fool of himself, and the party, in that “Republican Response”.

    “Ignorant in the area of economics?”

    Your numbness, since you pretty much have a lock on ignorance of most things; everthink maybe you should throw your halo in the ring?

    L@Y

  • 38 R.A.M. // Mar 7, 2009 at 5:00 am

    Shrillery should have taken her hillbilly hubby with her. I am sure he couldn’t have offended the European’s any more, although I am NOT willing to place any bets on it! ;-)

    I see, (as usual), all the MSM story’s are painting a happy face on Hillary’s gaffs, saying how fast she recovered from them.

    Wouldn’t you think that with all the people the government has at it’s disposal, they could translate a few Russian words from English and get it right?

    Reminds me of the “I Love Lucy” episode when Lucy net Ricky’s Uncle for the first time and trying to greet him in Spanish called him a fat pig.

    The only difference is Lucy was “acting” and Hillary is just a lib moron, appointed to her job by another lib moron!

  • 39 R.A.M. // Mar 7, 2009 at 5:07 am

    As I said on another thread, for at least the last 8 years the left-wingnuts have howled that our image overseas was being damaged by Bush yet, in the space of a few days, Obama has offended Gordon Brown and Hillary has offened Russia, and MOST of Europe with her “claim” that America’s democracy outdates their’s!

    Good job libtards! :lol:

  • 40 gafisher // Mar 7, 2009 at 5:38 am

    You’re living in the past, l’@choo (gesundheit!) Re#37. Time to gut up and admit Obama’s multiple and continuing failures are his legacy and nobody else’s.

  • 41 LAUGRAT // Mar 8, 2009 at 2:20 pm

    ?PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN?
    “I am Oz, the Great and Terrible,” said the little man, in a trembling voice. “But don’t strike me-please don’t-and I’ll do anything you want me to.”
    “I thought Oz was a great Head,” said Dorothy.
    “And I thought Oz was a lovely Lady,” said the Scarecrow.
    “And I thought Oz was a terrible Beast,” said the Tin Woodman.
    “And I thought Oz was a Ball of Fire,” exclaimed the Lion.
    “No, you are all wrong,” said the little man meekly. “I have been making believe.”
    “Making believe!” cried Dorothy. “Are you not a Great Wizard?”
    “Hush, my dear,” he said. “Don’t speak so loud, or you will be overheard-and I should be ruined. I’m supposed to be a Great Wizard.”
    “And aren’t you?” she asked.
    “Not a bit of it, my dear; I’m just a common man.”
    “You’re more than that,” said the Scarecrow,; “you’re a humbug.”
    “Exactly so!” declared the little man, rubbing his hands together as if it pleased him.
    “I am a humbug.”

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