(2008-05-12) — Under pressure from Sen. Hillary Clinton, the state of West Virginia today launched a public service TV commercial reminding white Democrats that they can “make their mark” rather than signing their names in the precinct register for Tuesday’s primary.
The move follows Sen. Clinton’s recent remarks that much of her support comes from whites who work hard and don’t have as much education as backers of rival Sen. Barack Obama. The little-known “Festus Provision” of the state’s election law allows voters to make an “X” in the precinct register to record their presence at the polling place.
Meanwhile, the Clinton campaign has unleashed a barrage of TV and radio ads highlighting the difference between the candidates with the slogan: “Pick the Longer Name.”
The Obama for America campaign, struggling to connect with an electorate comprised largely of bitter West Virginians who cling to their guns and religion, today plans a “white wine and brie” skeet-shooting reception at St. Vegan’s Unitarian Universalist Church, near downtown Nitro.
53 responses so far ↓
1 onlineanalyst // May 12, 2008 at 9:08 am
Other ads bring back that famous scene captured on YouTube, where Hillary! bellies up to the bar and sips (?) her shooter.
WV: Switzerland stake — how waitress writes Swiss steak for the WV voter torn between Obamarama and Her Thighness
2 Mustard Seed // May 12, 2008 at 9:22 am
Good Morning Scott: Don’t forget,
“He never failed me yet!”
3 gafisher // May 12, 2008 at 9:27 am
Most people say it’s Hillary who’s playing ketchup in this race, but in what may have been a tribute to the Heinz-heiress wife of veteran Democrat Presidential loser John Kerry, Obama told an Oregon audience last Friday [Reuters] “I’ve now been in 57 states, I think — one left to go,†adding “Alaska and Hawaii I was not allowed to go to … my staff could not justify it,†after hearing laughter from the audience.” So that’d be 57 visited plus one left to go plus two not allowed; sixty states in all. Could Obama pass a citizenship exam?
4 Jules Crittenden » Heart of Darkness // May 12, 2008 at 9:34 am
[...] here’s some useful news. Scrappleface: White Hillary voters will be allowed to sign “X” on West by God Virginia precinct [...]
5 JamesonLewis3rd // May 12, 2008 at 9:34 am
TOO funny!
I actually LOLed OUT LOUD! (a la Adrian Monk)
What an excellent schematic of Elitism.
Thank you, Scott.
6 Fred Sinclair // May 12, 2008 at 9:49 am
WEST VIRGINIA IS A FANTASTIC STATE!!!
When I was in the Air Force I had a room-mate “Gary” - He was from Cucumber, W. Va. (and yes, for anyone in Rio Linda, there IS a Cucumber, W. Va.) not loaded up with “formal education” but Gary was one of the smartest men I’ve ever known.
What we down in Texas once called “Plain old everyday, common horse sense.” Over the years I’ve known many folks from W.Va. - I have yet to meet one I didn’t like.
And they laughed along with (not ‘at’) Festus, same as everyone else.
The only thing I find to be incredulous is that there is any Democrats in the State! All the ones I’ve met were rock bottom, hard core, Conservative, Republicans.Guess I must have been traveling in the ‘right’ circles.
Heirborn Ranger
7 Fred Sinclair // May 12, 2008 at 9:57 am
I dogpiled “Obama’s fifty seven states”, scrolled down to BizzyBlog ” Old Media Ignores Obama’s 57 States,’ But Couldn’t Get … and got to see the video of his comment. What a hoot!
At least his party has the correct animal as their mascot.
Heirborn Ranger
8 Maggie // May 12, 2008 at 10:02 am
Uh,how do you spell it?
9 Fred Sinclair // May 12, 2008 at 10:05 am
JL3rd #4 - Since Chucking my TV (I no longer have one) the only thing I really, really miss is Adrian Monk. But I found that I can get his website and there is 6 or 7 complete programs I can watch for free, 24/7.
Heirborn Ranger
10 boberinyetagain // May 12, 2008 at 10:07 am
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Funny Stuff Scott!
Mornin’ gang
now brighton…because if not now then when? hmmmm?
11 boberinyetagain // May 12, 2008 at 10:09 am
Y’all seem to be ignoring several states…
confusion
consternation
denial
the list goes on, there have to be at least 60 states he could have found himself in…
weeks earmarked…for more election nonsense
12 boberinyetagain // May 12, 2008 at 10:10 am
moderate already…
13 RedPepper // May 12, 2008 at 10:24 am
Sign with an “Xâ€, eh ?
Like Malcolm X , f’rinstance ?
Speaking of “chickens coming home to roost†…
14 Libby Gone // May 12, 2008 at 10:38 am
Putting the X in Elexion?
15 boberinyetagain // May 12, 2008 at 10:47 am
No, no…it’s an “X”tra special election with lots of “X”tra special choices
the brush…like the larch perhaps but not as funny
16 Amused Cynic » Blog Archive » The lead-up to the WV primary…Scott Ott reporting….. // May 12, 2008 at 11:24 am
[...] stuff from Scrappleface. White Hillary Voters in WV Can Use X for Signature by Scott Ott for ScrappleFace · (2008-05-12) [...]
17 onlineanalyst // May 12, 2008 at 11:31 am
Best Madame Hillary! impersonation evah! The voice, the gestures, the schtick… on target.
WV Brooklyn pitching… and everyone got out of Dodge(rs)
18 Southern Appeal » ScrappleFace on the WVA primary // May 12, 2008 at 11:51 am
[...] Funny stuff. PermaLink | | Trackback/Pingback (0) [...]
19 Hawkeye // May 12, 2008 at 12:11 pm
“X” marks the spot!
at Hollow — Sleepy?
20 boberinyetagain // May 12, 2008 at 12:18 pm
Hillary is nothing but a xanthippe but she’d rather be known as being xenial.
To the democrats she’s a xenobiotic. hopefully she has at least a little xenophobia, couldn’t hurt.
She dislikes the UN, considers it xenocracy.
But she’s really just a xanthoderm xanthodont. Too bad for her
21 And We All Came Together And Said, “F#*k It, McCain!” « The Reluctant Optimist // May 12, 2008 at 12:24 pm
[...] and here is some more good stuff at Scrappleface. Read and laugh. Possibly related posts: (automatically generated)Why the f**K is McCain getting [...]
22 Don Surber » Blog Archive » X voters // May 12, 2008 at 12:46 pm
[...] Scrappleface explains why she’ll do well in West Virginia. And it is all true! [...]
23 da Bunny // May 12, 2008 at 1:48 pm
“…little known ‘Festus Provision’…”, “Pick the Longer Name,” “St. Vegan’s Unitarian Universalist Church.”
This is beyond funny, Scott!
24 Ragnell // May 12, 2008 at 2:04 pm
With apologies to Rudyard Kipling the poet; here is my reworded version of his poem “the White Man’s Burden* which praised the “benefits†of colonialism. The new “Sahib†or “Bwanna†is our left-wing media and their cronies out to correct(deconstruct)those vulgar Appalachian savages from their “unenlightened†worldview:
The Left Wing’s Burden
Take up the Left wing’s burden
Send forth the same old breed -
Go bind your journalists to brief exile
To serve your hillbillies’ need;
To wait away from starbucks
On fluttered folk and wild -
Your captive, sullen peoples,
Half devil and half child.
Take up the Left-Wing’s burden -
In condescension to abide,
To veil the threat of exposure
And hide the evidence of pride;
By duplicitous speech and lies,
An hundred times mad plain.
To take another’s profit,
And steal another’s gain.
Take up the Left-wing’s burden -
Our savage campaigns for “peaceâ€
Shut down those coarse distractions
And bid “bitter†ignorance cease;
And when your goal is nearest
The presidency for others sought,
Watch guns and Small-town Folly
Bring all your hope to nought.
Take up the Left wing’s burden -
And reap an entitled reward:
The blame of those ye enlighten,
The hate of those you deconstruct
The vulgar cry of the working class ye condescend
(Ah, slowly!) toward the light: -
“Why brought ye us from bondage,
“Our loved Appalachian night?”
Take up the Left-wings burden -
Ye distort what Obama meant -
Nor call too loud on freedom
To cloak your true intent;
By all ye preach or publish,
By all ye leave or do,
The silent, sullen peoples
Shall weigh your party and you.
Ragnell
All Hail the new “Bwanna” Media
Do they need some native appalachians to haul their monthy supply of Starbucks out to the “Heart of Darkness†land?
*The White Man’s Burden http://www.poetryloverspage.com/poets/kipling/kipling_ind.html
25 boberinyetagain // May 12, 2008 at 3:37 pm
I wonder if a picture of an X would be considered photo ID?
not sprague…I may be a lot of things but Sprague isn’t one of them
26 prettyold // May 12, 2008 at 3:51 pm
Guess where there are 57 States?
Here is what it says on Yahoo,
“….. it was probably a Freudian slip for the 57 Islamic states (countries…..”
#300,000 serves to get any politician to follow you anywhere.
27 Beerme // May 12, 2008 at 5:16 pm
Ragnell,
Bravo! Finely done.
28 mindknumbed kid // May 12, 2008 at 5:32 pm
Fred, you must run in some odd circles, I spent my first 25 years in West Virginia, got edjucated in WV public schools. While there are a lot of good people there, the most of the population is hard-core democrat, but since I left it has changed somewhat, thanks to Reagan and Rush, for the most part. I think a lot of the people there just go to the polls and dutifully pull the “D” lever, even though they do not live their lives anything like they vote.
29 JamesonLewis3rd // May 12, 2008 at 5:56 pm
American Thinker reminded me of something I think we should keep in mind when it comes to BO and “diplomacy”—his apostasy (a capitol offense which the Muslims remember for infinity).
But, there is, of course, the quite feasible inverse possibility that he is a mole.
30 Fred Sinclair // May 12, 2008 at 6:44 pm
mkk #26 - Gary’s main claim to fame (and in my betting days I won a LOT of money, betting on him) was that he could drink beer faster than any other human being, he could suck a can of beer empty (crushing the can inward) in 2.8 seconds.
The Army (from the nearby Army Hospital at Landsthul) would come over to Ramstein Air Base to challenge him (they lost 100% of the time, but they kept coming, fortunately some people never learn)
They had one Sgt. “Big John” who was 6′4″ and 280 lbs. who didn’t know how to quit. Once after a dozen losses, he challenged Gary to two pitchers of beer, each. Since I knew Gary would win, I didn’t consider it really betting. Gary sat pitcher #2 down empty while John still had half a pitcher. I doubled my money on that last bet - $160.00
Like you said, “odd circles”.
Heirborn Ranger
31 camojack // May 12, 2008 at 7:26 pm
Excellent!!! Hey, whatever it takes…
Libby Gone // May 12, 2008 at 10:38 am
Putting the X in Elexion?
Good one!
32 Fred Sinclair // May 12, 2008 at 7:29 pm
They probably drink a lot of beer in W. Va.
Probably don’t drink much Evian Phrench water tho…..
Heirborn Ranger
33 mindknumbed kid // May 12, 2008 at 8:26 pm
They even drink a version of ethanol there in WV that has more kick than a mule. Country singer Brad Paisley is a West Virginia boy, he sings a song called “Alcohol”, and another one called “Whiskey Lullaby” (duet with Allison Krause, the sweetest voice known to mankind), so it is fair to say that liquor in West Virginia reeks as much havoc as it does any other place on the planet.
34 JamesonLewis3rd // May 12, 2008 at 9:03 pm
George Thorogood has a couple of good Alcoholic Anthems.
(I sang along to this one a time or two back in the olden days).
35 Ms RightWing, Ink // May 12, 2008 at 9:18 pm
I can almost see the capitol of West Ginny from the balcony of the bunker-Akron, Ohio.
The used to teach the 3 R’s in our local schools. Readin’, ritin’ and Rt 21. (the old two lane blacktop running from Akron to West, by God, Virginia).
Back in in the pre-Mexico factory days, also known as the Industrial Age, folks down south used to drive up to the rubber shops, work for a few weeks, go home for the weekend and either disappear into the hills or send their brother Floyd up to take their place.
There was a well worn path between here and West Virginia and/or Kentucky. Some never went home and their legacy has not changed much in the last 50 or 60 years-neither has their DNA. If their gramps was from down West Virginia way, that makes them from there also.
Some sociologists say it could take 150 years or longer for them to get W.Va out of their system
36 Ms RightWing, Ink // May 12, 2008 at 9:33 pm
The West Virginian and his gal were embracing passionately in the front seat of the car.
“Want to go in the back seat?” she asked.
“No,” he replied.
A few minutes later she asked, “Now do you want to get in the back seat?”
“No,” he said again, “I wanna stay here in the front seat with you.”
What’s the most popular pick up line in West Virginia?
Nice tooth!
How can you tell if a West Virginian is married?
There is tobacco spit stains on both
sides of his pickup truck.
Why did God invent armadillos?
So that hillbillies can have ‘possum on the half shell.
Why aren’t there drive by shootings in West Virginia?
Because the cars are on blocks and the houses are on wheels
Sorry, after years of blond and Swede jokes, it is time for another group to be the blunt of the jokes
37 Ragnell // May 12, 2008 at 9:48 pm
BeerMe,
Thank you sir,
I was hoping that people would understand the Kipling reference and its connection to elitism then and with today’s media elites .
All I need is to find a copy of that old victorian picture that often shows up next to “White Man’s Burden”. Have you seen it? It’s a print showing the white “savior bwanna” leading the childlike African people onward into the light. -It’s obnoxious-It had the same message as Kipling’s poem. “We know best how to take care of you; ‘the ignorant children’, think for you, run your lives…”
Just sign your X and we’ll take over everything from now on
It would be funny to take that print and photoshop Obama’s face onto the savior bwaana’s head, and then surround him with pint-sized west virginians and kentuckians.
Ragnell
38 Ms RightWing, Ink // May 12, 2008 at 9:51 pm
This has been a favorite story for a couple of years. I shared it at the Mother, Daughter banquet last Friday and as always, it gets a lot of laughs. Humor can be clean!
************************************************
So there was this lady in West Virginia who had been saving her money for a number of years in order to get an indoor bathroom built onto her little shack. After being lucky enough to get her $300 dollar stimulus check from President Bush she finally realized her dreams were within reach-but she still needed about a thousand bucks.
So that Friday she gets up early and heads down to the county seat in order to get a loan. After she arrives at the bank she walks right over to the vice president’s desk and rather bravely states she needed a loan for a thousand bucks to get indoor plumin’.
The banker looks at her and clears his throat.
“I’m sorry mam, but we have a certain protocol in banking before we just hand money over. Now, let us start over, you are a new face here and I’m afraid I don’t recognize you-where have you been doing your business before today?”
Well the poor lady blushed a bit and quietly answered the banker
“Tell ya the truth, behind the bushes.”
39 debass // May 12, 2008 at 10:08 pm
Ms. RW,
The toothbrush was invented in WV otherwise it would have been called a teethbrush.
They can’t solve crimes their either. There are no dental records and the dna is all the same.
40 JamesonLewis3rd // May 12, 2008 at 11:30 pm
Back in the day, I heard at least one Columbusite say that Columbus (120-30 miles from the border) would become a ghost town if all the hill folk headed back to the woods. You sure didn’t want to be in the southbound lane of route 23, 33 or 62 on a Friday night.
It was a fun place to grow your hair long in the mid-60’s, I’ll tell ya.
Full Disclosure: In 1967, while I was on leave between Basic and AIT, I (age 17) married a wonderful and beautiful young lady (age 15) from Maysville KY.
41 Ms RightWing, Ink // May 12, 2008 at 11:35 pm
All quiet on the hilly front?
42 Ms RightWing, Ink // May 12, 2008 at 11:36 pm
again. Out da**ed spot
43 mindknumbed kid // May 12, 2008 at 11:37 pm
I spent a lot of time on the back roads of WV, a lot of it in a truck haulin’ milk or water, one day I had a DHL package to deliver, way out in the sticks southeast of Weston where my dad had hauled milk when I was a toddler, sure enough, the package was for one of the dairy farmer’s daughter- in-laws. I’d say it was around 35 years after dad had been hauling milk in that area. We used to run the ridges of the northern panhandle, picking up milk and taking it to Garvin’s Dairy, (Wheeling)and then to United Dairy in Martins Ferry,Oh), all ther was to that area was the river bottoms, a big, tall, steep, cliff-like hill, and the hilltops, once you left the river there was no flat ground, the narrow little back roads in Wetzel County would have a few “switchbacks” as you ascended and there was a place or two you could look out the passenger window of the truck and see somone’s house vitually straight down 300 feet or so. Some guys took Cluster (real first name) Williamson up in that area to deer hunt, he went back to the pickup truck after a short time, said “if you shoot one on the ridge the meat would be ruined by the time it tumbled to the hollow, and if you shot one in the hollow it would be too much work to get it up to the top”.
I loved truckin’ in those hills, it was not for the faint of heart. Liquid load and no baffles in the tank, good place to learn how it’s done!
44 Fred Sinclair // May 13, 2008 at 7:46 am
mkk #40 - Ahhh - Good ole Cluster Williamson. Is it OK if I don’t inquire as to his middle name?…….good, I won’t.
Interestingly enough, B. Hussein Obama is currently sporting an American Flag, lapel pin; in spite of his earlier comments on the subject,
Strangely - it seems he is becoming more and more committed to making himself more and more unelectable. Almost like someone has put a ‘bug’ in his ear about what people who cross ‘the smartest woman in the world’ can expect.
I received an email with a list of 47 people who didn’t know what to expect, and found it interesting enough to post, but I won’t.
Apparently there are a bunch of deaths tied to the Clintons. Maybe whoever researched this is trying to infer a connection that doesn’t exist. Maybe once you reach a certain level of political power, you become associated with so many people that of course there will be a few of them who die for one reason or another. The more people you know, the more dead people you will have known.
It’s possible that all 47 deaths are nothing more than pure coincidence.
Heirborn Ranger
45 Ms RightWing, Ink // May 13, 2008 at 8:25 am
Don’t forgit to vote often t’day. The Rockefellers will be be handing out a bucket of worthless coal to every voter. Vote often ’nuff and you may git ’nuff of what you used to do for a living before them Rockeyfellers took it away.
46 Fred Sinclair // May 13, 2008 at 8:55 am
bya #23 - boberinyetagain - You deserve an award. (I never thought I’d ever assemble those words into one sentence!) but give credit where credit is due - you cracked me up with that “photo ID?” comment yesterday, I’m still laughing.
Actually, I stopped reading ‘troll’ comments awhile ago but that one somehow caught my eye - glad it did. Thanks - I only read it early this morning, but it got my day started with a good laugh.
Heirborn Ranger
47 boberinyetagain // May 13, 2008 at 9:17 am
Thanks Fred, even a blind squirrel finds an acorn once in a while.
strawbridge chant…we hate Macy’s, we hate Macy’s?
48 Fred Sinclair // May 13, 2008 at 11:11 am
A slight “jump start” on our upcoming Saturday - Truly a day of thanksgiving and appreciation for our 100% Volunteer Military Forces [not "drafted" like so many in past wars, but volunteers, who additionally; so very many of them re-volunteer to return for additional tours in Iraq and Afghanistan]
SALUTING OUR MEN AND WOMEN IN UNIFORM
This Saturday, 17 May, is Armed Forces Day, first set aside in 1949 by President Harry Truman to recognize the unification of the Armed Forces under the Department of Defense and to acknowledge the extraordinary dedication of America’s uniformed Patriots standing ready in harm’s way at home and around the world.
We cannot really appreciate them enough - so to all that are serving and/or have served………Thank You.
Heirborn Ranger
49 boberinyetagain // May 13, 2008 at 11:42 am
Fred, since it’s just you and me I won’t tell anyone you found my post amusing if you won’t tell anyone that I agree with you re: #36. I believe I’ll hug my daughter extra hard on Saturday.
Yeah troops!
rusher left…all the other rushers are gone, now there’s only one…
50 boberinyetagain // May 13, 2008 at 12:28 pm
Idiots…flaming idiots…
WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The Senate voted on Tuesday to suspend oil deliveries to the country’s Strategic Petroleum Reserve until crude prices fall below $75 a barrel, repudiating the Bush administration’s policy of boosting the stockpile at time of record oil and gasoline prices.
bengals company…sigfreid and roy perhaps?
51 J. Cougar Melancholy // May 13, 2008 at 12:38 pm
Shrillary reminds me of that one night stand that just won’t go away. She’s like Glenn Close in “Fatal Attraction”…”I’m not going to be IGNORED, America!”, but she just keeps popping up out of that tub repeatedly. It shouldn’t be long before she realizes Obama is the man to take down old man McCain.
52 Darthmeister // May 13, 2008 at 5:30 pm
Hmmmm, I guess the white Hitllery WV voters would merely be honoring Malcom the Tenth when they sign with an “X”.
Terry McAuliffe: “Media in the tank for Obama.”
Buwahahahaha! How does it feel dealing with a biased media, sir? If the lamestream media wasn’t “in the tank” for Obamessiah they’d be in the tank for sHrillary. Of course your observation is merely one more bit of proof as to just how left the liberal media truly is.
I truly believe that the lamestream national news media represents one of the greatest threats to this constitutional republic. Where else do about 75% of the American people get their information about the world around them? In their case, media perception is reality.
53 Darthmeister // May 13, 2008 at 5:31 pm
… pushin’ on up!
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