(2008-04-03) — Democrat presidential candidate Sen. Hillary Clinton today announced that her new ‘jobs plan’ will create steady income for 3 million Americans by allowing unemployed people to earmark Congressional spending for their own “personal pork barrel projects”.
“When I’m president, every American will have the same unchecked power that I used to secure $296.2 million in federal tax dollars for projects in my home state last year,” said Sen. Clinton. “Earmark spending helps me keep my job, and soon it will provide similar benefits for millions of others without the stress that comes from finding work, or running a profitable business.”
Under the terms of Sen. Clinton’s Personal Income Guarantee plan, after Congress passes its annual budget, unemployed citizens and ‘citizen-equivalents’, can designate funds for their own ‘projects’ without legislative review.
In a rare display of unity, Democrat rival Sen. Barack Obama, who last year tallied $97.4 million in earmarks for Illinois, endorsed Sen. Clinton’s proposal, and suggested that “she introduce the bill in 2009 when she becomes Senate majority leader.”
Republican presidential nominee Sen. John McCain, who had no earmarks in 2007, rejected the plan, saying, “I believe in self-reliance. If you want a good job, with a guaranteed income for life, here’s some straight talk: It’s up to you pull yourself up by your own bootstraps and get elected to Congress.”
18 responses so far ↓
1 JamesonLewis3rd // Apr 3, 2008 at 6:58 am
“Power to the People, Right On.” ~~John Lennon, 1971
God Bless America
2 gafisher // Apr 3, 2008 at 7:00 am
“… projects in my home state …”
Illinois, Arkansas or New York?
3 Fred Sinclair // Apr 3, 2008 at 7:04 am
“….in 2009 when she becomes Senate majority leader.†O.K. but I think she has other plans. It’s my prayer that both Mrs. Bill Clinton and Mr. B. Hussein Obama are in line at Manpower, hoping for a temp slot, in 2009.
Heirborn Ranger
4 gafisher // Apr 3, 2008 at 7:05 am
Ooh! Ooh! How’s about we find some obscure piece of legislation and attach a rider that demands the right to “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness?” Kinda crazy, I know, but if we’re going to ask, we might as well ask big.
5 Ms RightWing, Ink // Apr 3, 2008 at 7:26 am
Oh boy, my bank will now offer a Pork Account
6 camojack // Apr 3, 2008 at 7:29 am
Now I’ve got a sudden hankering for bacon…
wv: 338 narrowly…escaped!
7 boberinyetagain // Apr 3, 2008 at 7:31 am
A pig in every pot. It has a nice ring to it. A job’s a job.
Very funny Scott.
echelon albert…I got nothin’
8 FM - VRWC (founding member - vast right wing conspiracy) // Apr 3, 2008 at 7:39 am
Great one. We need a Congress full of earmark opponents - that’s why I’m with Club For Growth endorsed http://www.ChrisHackettforCongress.com
9 Hawkeye // Apr 3, 2008 at 7:52 am
TOO Funny! Lots of good lines. Another classic Scott. Only one exception… I’m rooting for Hillary to become Senate MINORITY Leader (heh-heh).
chances earnings — couldn’t be more appropriate.
10 Maggie // Apr 3, 2008 at 7:53 am
Hey! I need new tires………
11 boberinyetagain // Apr 3, 2008 at 7:59 am
Maggie, write it up, it’s that simple! You are empowered!!
paterno without…a football team is like a day w/o sunshine (or a day w/o pork barrel spening perhaps)
12 wildhowd // Apr 3, 2008 at 8:11 am
Will the citizen-equivalents be required to have their pork projects here in the USA or can we have the funding electronically transferred to Mexico City Banks for projects in their home nation or other qualifying nations banking systems. Does this include citizen-equivalents who are in prison? What about citizen-equivalents who currently have jobs using someone elses social security number, surely they should qualify. Please immediately raise the rate of my voluntary contribution to the IRS so that more funding will be made available.
13 gafisher // Apr 3, 2008 at 8:28 am
Eerie. If this link works, does anyone else think HRC is trying for a WFB look?
14 boberinyetagain // Apr 3, 2008 at 8:30 am
ga, don’t know what she’s going for but it sure is scary!
and playoff…and playoff…and playoff, over and over and over…
15 gafisher // Apr 3, 2008 at 9:07 am
Whether it’s Hillary’s earmarks or your own Congress Member’s “constituent assistance,” remember that every penny Congress spends is taken not from some independent fountain of funds or even primarily from “the rich” but from taxpaying Americans like you and me. Here is what one former Commissioner of the IRS said after studying his Agency for three years:
For the sake of the Country, for the sake of those who come after us, for the sake of history and respect for the Founders who pledged their “lives, fortunes and sacred honor” to win our freedom from tyranny, support the Fair Tax.
16 mindknumbed kid // Apr 3, 2008 at 5:47 pm
I may just support supercHillary if she can pull this one off, after all, it is very difficult to pull yourself up by the bootstraps, there are so few seats available in congress. Now if McSham can get a bil pased to open up a few hundred thousand more seats in the Senate…..
17 MajorDomo // Apr 4, 2008 at 12:10 am
Personal Income Guarantee plan… the PIG plan. Grand name for a national pork project! Great stuff, Scott!
Well, it’s not too far off the mark, either. The Democrats have been wobbling toward this ultimate vote-buying scheme for decades.
18 A Clinton Plan for the Economy // Apr 6, 2008 at 11:17 pm
[...] Satirical Clinton Economic Stimulus Plan: Earmarks for all. Share and Enjoy: These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and [...]
You must log in to post a comment.