ScrappleFace: News Fairly Unbalanced. We Report. You Decipher




Top Stories...




Hillary Prescribes 'Plan B' for Obama Post-Iowa

by Scott Ott for ScrappleFace · 37 Comments

(2007-12-12) — With the Iowa caucuses just three weeks away, advisers to Sen. Hillary Clinton say their original plan to deal with rival Barack Obama by ignoring him — a strategy dubbed “total abstinence” — has clearly failed.

Faced with the very real possibility that Sen. Obama could win in Iowa, and thus become anything from a mere annoyance to a real threat to her presidential ambitions, Sen. Clintonā€™s ‘Plan B‘ calls for “preventing the idea of a ‘President Obamaā€™ from becoming implanted in the minds of voters by creating a toxic environment for him.”

Campaign insiders said Mrs. Clinton often refers to her younger rival as “the youthful indiscretion” and says that sheā€™s committed to ending his nascent presidential hopes in Iowa or New Hampshire before his swelling popularity shows in national polls.

If “Plan B” fails, Mrs. Clintonā€™s advisers said, thereā€™s still the possibility that Sen. Obama could “wash out, or fall prey to an involuntary pull out.”

If none of those strategies succeeds in aborting his candidacy before the Democrat National Convention, sources said Mrs. Clinton is fully prepared to execute the final solution, a choice known as ‘Plan VPā€™.

Your Donation Fuels Family-Friendly Satire

Print This Story Print This Story |  RSS Feed

Related Stories...

FREE ScrappleFace Email Updates
Get free instant notice when new story posted. Emails contain unsubscribe link. Cancel anytime.

Tags: Politics

37 responses so far ↓

  • 1 boberinyetagain // Dec 12, 2007 at 8:47 am

    Always best to have a fall back plan. Good stuff Scott

  • 2 Ms RightWing, Ink // Dec 12, 2007 at 8:47 am

    O comments so far-kick things off, you say. Well how about a Hillary kick

  • 3 Fred Sinclair // Dec 12, 2007 at 8:51 am

    Plan ‘VPā€™ = Virtual President?
    Plan ‘VPā€™ = Violently Persecuted?
    Oh, yeah: Plan ‘VPā€™ = Very P***ed?

    Heirborn Ranger

  • 4 Ms RightWing, Ink // Dec 12, 2007 at 8:53 am

    Number 2 on Scrappleface is not so bad, but number two in Iowa, eh, not so good.

  • 5 Libby Gone // Dec 12, 2007 at 9:18 am

    I understand Shillary has consulted Planned Parenthood to have Mr Obama aborted in his 142nd Trimester. This would save him from suffering an “Unwanted Presidency”

  • 6 boberinyetagain // Dec 12, 2007 at 9:19 am

    She should concentrate on sucking up to the Supreme Court as itā€™s they that decide such matters anyway.

  • 7 JamesonLewis3rd // Dec 12, 2007 at 9:22 am

    I heard or read somewhere that the Clinton/Soros/Chinese Cabal is berserk with anxiety, throwing vein-popping tantrums and exploding with vitriolic fury because things arenā€™t going their way in the polls-typical.

  • 8 gafisher // Dec 12, 2007 at 10:12 am

    “… Mrs. Clinton is fully prepared to execute the final solution …”

    Yes, thatā€™s one terrifying but real possibility. I wonder whoā€™ll get to wear those spiffy VRWC badges.

  • 9 Fred Sinclair // Dec 12, 2007 at 10:44 am

    bya- #6

    I must have missed something - specifically just what did the Supremes decide - because if they did what you imply, we can save a lot of money and time by just canceling the elections.

    Heirborn Ranger

  • 10 boberinyetagain // Dec 12, 2007 at 10:52 am

    Fred, but we would miss the circus and thatā€™s the best part!

  • 11 mig // Dec 12, 2007 at 11:10 am

    Bill Clinton never understood the fundamental relationship between peace and strength.

    Neither does Hillary.

    Quote of the week
    ā€œI was in an elevator in a Washington hotel, packed with ā€˜peace activists.ā€™ They looked with disdain at my dress uniform. I queried the most boisterous among them, ā€˜If you were locked away in some God-forsaken hell hole of a prison in one of the ā€˜Stans,ā€™ who would you rather have coming to rescue you, buses loaded with peacenik protestors or helicopters loaded with gung-ho Marines?ā€™ The silence was deafening.ā€ ā€”Colonel (USMC), San Diego, California

  • 12 gafisher // Dec 12, 2007 at 11:48 am

    On the other side of the fence, given the effort Mitt Romney is putting into scuttling the Huckabee campaign, itā€™s interesting to read what Barry Goldwater said of Mittā€™s father (George Romney) regarding how Conservatism lost the 1964 Presidential race:

    “The press played a strong supporting role, but for the most part it functioned as a carrier of the destructive statements, devastating personal criticism, and outright falsehoods of my fellow Republicans.” [Barry Goldwater, "With No Apologies"]

  • 13 a440hz // Dec 12, 2007 at 12:10 pm

    So would Obama be a PBVP (Partial Birth Vice President)?

  • 14 JQ // Dec 12, 2007 at 1:58 pm

    Just in case discussion in the “Waterboarding” thread is over, Iā€™d like to refer at least JL3 to my response here.

    Hopefully the link works.

  • 15 JamesonLewis3rd // Dec 12, 2007 at 4:13 pm

    RE: #14~~

    I know nothing about you. You are relatively new here as far as I know. Hereā€™s what I do know:

    1) You mischaracterized my comment ;
    2) You deny doing so;
    3) Anyone who, like you, assumes (before the fact, even) that the USA is the bad guy seething with evil intent and our mortal enemies are the benevolent good guys is NO Conservative, is NO Republican, is certainly NO Patriot and is clinically deluded if they think otherwise.

  • 16 boberinyetagain // Dec 12, 2007 at 4:35 pm

    Time for a “cleansing breath” there JL3?

  • 17 The Moderate Voice » Domestic and international news analysis, irreverent comments, original reporting, and popular culture features from across the political spectrum. // Dec 12, 2007 at 5:07 pm

    [...] -MUST READ POST OF THE DAY is James Joyner who predicts itā€™ll be Senator John McCain defeating Hillary Clinton in 2008. (Joyner is a highly thoughtful commentator so donā€™t miss this one). -Taylor Marsh -Ed Morrissey -The Heretik -JammieWearingFool -Pollster.com -Scrappleface (satire) [...]

  • 18 JQ // Dec 12, 2007 at 5:12 pm

    I used to be more active here, but lately Iā€™ve been too busy to take the time to give my input.

    “Anyone who, like you, assumes (before the fact, even) that the USA is the bad guy seething with evil intent and our mortal enemies are the benevolent good guys is NO Conservative, is NO Republican, is certainly NO Patriot and is clinically deluded if they think otherwise.” (emphasis mine)

    Whoā€™s making the assumptions about whom? Considering that Iā€™ve said nothing to give anyone a reason to believe that I hold to any of the assumed beliefs above, I have to conclude that your stereotype cookie-cutters only come in two sizes: Extreme Conservative and Extreme Liberal; anyone taking any position in the middle ground is apparently tossed into the liberal camp.

    I consider myself a pretty conservative Bible-thumper who generally agrees with the principles of the Republican Party. However, I donā€™t live and die by the words which issueth from the mouths of Rush Limbough and Anne Coulter. There IS a middle ground, and I live there.

  • 19 gafisher // Dec 12, 2007 at 5:15 pm

    “Plan VP” sounds like a non-starter. Who could convincingly add vice to a Clinton administration?

  • 20 JQ // Dec 12, 2007 at 5:22 pm

    Along the same lines, I appreciate the fact that Boberin is still here after so many…has it been years now? While I usually disagree with him, he at least disagrees in a conversational tone, unlike several of the liberal trolls that have hit this site in the past.

    I also believe that there are such things as conservative trolls, as well. When your “conversation” deteriorates to the point of name-calling and over-exaggerated caricatures, you might want to take a look at yourself.

    Remember, the theme of this site is satire, the art of making a point in a subtle, thought-provoking manner. Iā€™m reminded of something about catching flies with honey…

  • 21 gafisher // Dec 12, 2007 at 5:30 pm

    Limbaugh and Coulter ARE the middle ground, JQ. The political spectrum has shifted so far that what used to be called “the left” is now considered “moderate” (your idea of middle ground, perhaps?) while what was once mainstream is now characterized as far-right.

  • 22 upnorthlurkin // Dec 12, 2007 at 5:37 pm

    Hey, JQ!! Arenā€™t you my neighbor up here from Montana? Good seeing ya again!!

  • 23 Scott Ott // Dec 12, 2007 at 5:47 pm

    [Editor's Note: To our faithful readers and commenters; Scott Ott, the editor, has just offered to give you his new 52-page, non-satirical eBook (and audio version) called "The Impossible Necessary Secret of Joy". There is a catch, but only if you want to be caught. Please take a look and offer your feedback so we can make this offer as effective as possible for as many as possible.]

  • 24 JQ // Dec 12, 2007 at 5:51 pm

    UpNorth: Yep, itā€™s me. Good to see Iā€™m not altogether forgotten.

    Gafisher: Please donā€™t get me wrong; I pretty much agree with the conservative Republican marching song.

    The only point Iā€™m trying to make is that we shouldnā€™t get so caught up in our respective labels that we fail to hear what our “opponents” are actually saying. It sometimes seems like regardless of what Boberin (for example) has to say, the fact that heā€™s a “rotten liberal communist tree-hugger” means that his words have no relevance or value. Thatā€™s simply not true; to dismiss peopleā€™s thoughts altogether simply because of their prevalent political leanings is the height of ignorance. (Shoot, I just used one of those liberal buzzwords; I guess now Iā€™m Nancy Pelosi…)

  • 25 hersheybosco // Dec 12, 2007 at 6:37 pm

    Well, anyway, getting back to Plan B, or more specifically Plan VP, Iā€™m not sure Barack would want Hillary as his Vice President.

  • 26 da Bunny // Dec 12, 2007 at 7:39 pm

    In Slickā€™s world, Hillary has to win, or else thereā€™ll be “Hell to Pay” for him. He knows that those whoā€™ve crossed the little lady have ended up at the morgue in the past.

  • 27 Fred Sinclair // Dec 12, 2007 at 9:01 pm

    If I could only find that magic lamp. Iā€™d rub that sucker and when the genie appeared Iā€™d wish for Ann Coulter to be President with Judge Janice Rogers Brown being her Veep.

    But God doesnā€™t need a lamp or genie - He will put in place whomsoever He choses and whoever that is, Iā€™ll pray for them.

    Heirborn Ranger

  • 28 camojack // Dec 12, 2007 at 10:00 pm

    Hereā€™s hopinā€™ she goes down in flames…

  • 29 MajorDomo // Dec 12, 2007 at 10:13 pm

    “…a choice known as ā€˜Plan VPā€™ ” Must have been a typo. Probably should have read “Plan VF”.

  • 30 onlineanalyst // Dec 12, 2007 at 10:29 pm

    Hillary wants Valerie Plame to be on her ticket?

    Look out, America! Two bottle blondes with scheming black hearts will be the death of us.

  • 31 JamesonLewis3rd // Dec 13, 2007 at 7:26 am

    Merry Christmas
    Happy New Year

  • 32 Libby Gone // Dec 13, 2007 at 9:42 am

    I second that.

  • 33 Ms RightWing, Ink // Dec 13, 2007 at 11:46 am

    New modem-olā€™Sony is blazing once again. But I ooopsā€™ed last week and eliminated the drivers to my CD units. Anyone know how to reload them again. sigh, I donā€™t want to call the Geek Squad

  • 34 conserve-a-tips // Dec 13, 2007 at 1:12 pm

    Well Helloooooo Scrappledom. Oh my. I got a hot shower today. Mmmmmmm. We have lights and heat and water and a refrigerator and a stove and and and….life is good.

    I will say that the pioneer life leaves something to be desired if your home isnā€™t totally set up to live that way all of the time. If not, you spend most of your day digging through stuff to use and improvising stuff to survive. Thank goodness we had kerosene lanterns and bowls and pitchers in each room, as well as lots of antique utensils that came in quite handy. What a week. Unfortunately, there are many out there who still donā€™t have power. I wish there was a way that I could post pictures. It was just something that was hard to believe.

    Anyway, just wondering, if Hillary is creating a toxic environment for Obama, does that mean she is required to purchase carbon credits to offset that polution? And if she resorts to ‘Plan VPā€™ does that mean that that it is just another plan to gain the White House, albeit, indirectly? As in taking over for a fallen president? :-)

  • 35 Ms RightWing, Ink // Dec 13, 2007 at 3:13 pm

    zip

  • 36 Ms RightWing, Ink // Dec 13, 2007 at 3:14 pm

    Oh my, I canā€™t download the new post. Hmm

  • 37 MajorDomo // Dec 13, 2007 at 4:23 pm

    Ms #33: Try the manufacturersā€™ sites. They probably will have downloadable drivers.

    Good luck!

You must log in to post a comment.