(2002-11-15) — The FBI put out another, more specific, terrorist alert today. U.S. intelligence agencies believe that Al Qaeda terrorist network plans a spectacular attack of global magnitude in the next few days. Satellite phone ‘chatter’ and interviews with prisoners at Guantanamo reveal that Usama bin Laden’s forces will pelt the planet with burning rocks.
“We expect a barrage of flaming projectiles raining down,” said an unnamed intelligence agent. “We could easily see thousands per hour during its peak.”
United Nation’s Secretary General Kofi Annan said, “Citizens of earth are helpless to repel such an attack. We don’t even have time to pass a resolution condemning it.”
Bush administration officials, however, privately rebuked the FBI for releasing the terrorism alert.
“Apparently the bureau is listening to chatter, but not reading the news,” said White House spokesman Ari Fleischer. “If they were paying attention, they would know about the annual Leonid Meteor Shower.”

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