(2007-08-27) — Embattled Attorney General Alberto Gonzales submitted his letter of resignation over the weekend to President George Bush, who today announced he’ll fill the post with departing White House adviser Karl Rove.
The president said he selected Mr. Rove because “he meets the major qualification for the job by being one of the few unemployed, longterm Bush cronies available at the moment.”
Mr. Rove said he’s honored to accept the appointment to such a prestigious position, and he hopes he can “be effective at the attorney general’s main job which is to answer accusatory questions posed by Democrat lawmakers about perfectly legal activities.”
Mr. Gonzales, who has devoted the last year to fending off allegations that he fired eight political appointees for political reasons, said he’s leaving to “spend more time with family, away from the burden of a regular paycheck.”
He plans to write a tell-all memoir about his years at the justice department, tentatively entitled: “I Had No Idea.”
25 responses so far ↓
1 JamesonLewis3rd // Aug 27, 2007 at 8:47 am
God Bless America
2 JamesonLewis3rd // Aug 27, 2007 at 8:52 am
Good one, Scott!
Would that make the Democrats crazy or what!?!
The confirmation hearings are going to be a 3-ring circus no matter who President Bush nominates.
3 boberinyetagain // Aug 27, 2007 at 9:03 am
Excellent, funny stuff Mr. Ott!
4 Deerslayer // Aug 27, 2007 at 9:13 am
This makes allot of sense to me.
The only major accomplishment of this congress is continuous harassment of the administrative branch. (Their families must really be proud of them).
5 RedPepper // Aug 27, 2007 at 9:25 am
While the President’s loyalty to his long-time friend is admirable, Rove is simply not qualified for this exalted position; not only is he not an attorney, he is actually a college drop-out! The Dems are never gonna confirm someone as Attorney General who is not a lawyer!
I urge that President Bush nominate someone who is eminently qualified - a woman who graduated cum laude from Cornell, and received her law degree from the University of Michigan (where she was an editor of the Michigan Law Review) - Ann Coulter.
6 conserve-a-tips // Aug 27, 2007 at 10:06 am
RedPepper, I’ll second that! In reality though, it’s possible that the President might aughta appoint someone like Howard Dean (after sending out a warning to all of his constituents) as an in-your-face “Ok, boys, let’s see how you are gonna go after this appointment!!” It would be hillarious to watch the liberals try to figure out how they are gonna roast their poster liberal, who has “disenfranchised” the voters in Florida. I think it would be fun and might just give the President some long deserved amusement.
7 diamond jim // Aug 27, 2007 at 10:16 am
What W should do is nominate one of the many (all of them) attorneys fired during Clinton/Reno housecleaning . That would keep that situation out in front during the hearings..worth the risk of approval I think.
8 Just Ranting // Aug 27, 2007 at 10:20 am
Although I’d like to see Pres. Bush appoint a conservative to the post, the need for someone intimately familiar with border security. He will probably appoint someone who is very familiar with the reasons behind the influx of illegal immigrants to the U.S.; economic, social, cultural et al. Someone he has close ties to and trusts beyond all reason: Vincente Fox.
Now before you think this is a crazy idea, consider how strong Mexico’s immigration laws are. No immigrant is allowed to own property. No one can immigrate to Mexico who does not speak the native language, is not properly educated, and must prove they have no criminal record. Violators are imprisoned, expelled from the country, or both. There are no “anchor babies” in Mexico. If he can tighten Mexico’s borders so well, perhaps he can provide some leadership in Washington on these issues.
9 diamond jim // Aug 27, 2007 at 10:24 am
W should nominate one the many attorneys fired (all of them ) by Clinton/Reno during their housecleaning. That would keep that situation out in public during the hearings..worth the risk of nomination I’d say.
10 GnuCarSmell // Aug 27, 2007 at 10:34 am
In the spirit of compromise, Bush should nominate someone who will embody the values of this Democrat congress. And yes, Mike Nifong is available.
11 Darthmeister // Aug 27, 2007 at 10:45 am
Despite the fact the Leahy Inquisition didn’t find any wrongdoing on the part of AG Alberto Gonzales, it appears the inquisitors have gotten what they wished for. So I wonder, if what Mr. Gonzales did was so immoral or illegal in firing those DAs, will the principled congressional hyenas continue pursuing Mr. Gonzales in the name of peace, justice and the American way or will they slink off to the local pub to celebrate yet another chapter in the Donk’s political bread and circuses?
I didn’t particularly like Mr. Gonzales but its a shame he’s been hounded out of his position by a pack of slavering demagogues.
12 Darthmeister // Aug 27, 2007 at 10:49 am
Yes, Michael Nifong would be the perfect Demoncrap choice After all, Nifong was swift-boated by the vast right-wing conspiracy and is actually a fine and principled man who is very sensitive about race relations. He certainly has the support of at least 88 Duke professors - that’s saying something. And Ronnie Earl of Texas could be his assistant secretary.
13 Darthmeister // Aug 27, 2007 at 10:52 am
BTW, milblog BlackFive has this fitting tribute to Senator Warner.
14 EXT // Aug 27, 2007 at 11:28 am
How about NOT nominating a new AG?
Just have every detail referred to the oval office for action? After all, that IS the chain of command. The AG, and this is not a political statement, it’s a management analysis, reports to the President. When you’re on vacation, who addresses decisions you might have normally made? Most likely the next person UP the food chain.
Let the democraps howl about that! I don’t believe there’s any constitutional requirment that the President actually fill a vacancy!
15 gafisher // Aug 27, 2007 at 11:29 am
Of course Harriet Miers is an obvious choice, but RedPeper (#5) nailed it: We Want Ann!
16 da Bunny // Aug 27, 2007 at 11:35 am
Mark Levin would be an excellent choice for AG. Can’t you just hear him answering the lefties questions during the “confirmation” hearings? It’d be the best fireworks show, ever!!
17 Ms RightWing, Ink // Aug 27, 2007 at 11:49 am
Karl Rove? What is Bush trying ot do give Democrats sleepless nights. The first thing ou know they will, due to sleep deprivation , start telling the truth (by mistake.)
This post was written under sleep deprivation conditions, so I know how it can be. Zzzzz
18 beekabok2 // Aug 27, 2007 at 1:01 pm
I’ve got an idea. Why don’t we replace him with that strange little man that is the mascot for general insurance. It would be fitting since he is, after all, already a general. You also can’t see his eyes so he truly could claim that he “didn’t see a thing”.
BTW - went to the RUSH concert last night for my b-day (48) and man can they still rock!!
19 Gotcha // Aug 27, 2007 at 2:22 pm
Happy Birthday, Beek….a bit late! Tell me….what does a 48 year old wear to a RUSH concert?! I’m teasing of course…..(!)
20 Scott Ott // Aug 27, 2007 at 2:27 pm
This is a test.
If you clicked a button and made a contribution to ScrappleFace.com, you have passed the test. (Proceeds go to the ScrappleFace Enterprise Institute, a non-profitable foundation that provides nutrition, education, transportation and shelter for a family in rural Pennsylvania. Thank you.)
21 EXT // Aug 27, 2007 at 5:22 pm
Off topic….but this IS breaking news:
Democraps announce the agenda for the first night of their Hillary-fest:
7:00 pm Opening flag burning
7:15 pm Pledge of Allegiance to the U.N.
7:20 pm Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
7:25 pm Nonreligious prayer and worship
with Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton
7:45 pm Ceremonial tree hugging
7:55 pm Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
8:00 pm How I Invented the Internet - Al
Gore
8:15 pm Gay Wedding Planning - Barney
Frank presiding
8:35 pm Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
8:40 pm Our Troops are War Criminals -
John Kerry
9.00 pm Memorial service for Saddam and
his sons - Cindy Sheehan and Susan Sarandon
10:00 pm “Answering Machine Etiquette” -
Alec Baldwin
11:00 pm Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
11:05 pm Collection for the Osama Bin
Laden kidney transplant fund - Barbra Streisand
11:15 pm Free the Freedom Fighters from
Guantanamo Bay - Sean Penn
11:30 pm Oval Office Affairs - William
Jefferson Clinton
11:45 pm Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
11:50 pm How George Bush Brought Down
the World Trade Towers - Howard Dean
12:15 am “Truth in Broadcasting Award” -
Presented to Dan Rather by Michael Moore
12:25 am Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
12:30 am Satellite address by Mahmoud
Ahmadinejad
12:45 am Nomination of Hillary Rodham
Clinton by Nancy Pelosi
1:00 am Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
1:05 am Coronation of Hillary Rodham
Clinton
1:30 am Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
1:35 am Bill Clinton asks Ted Kennedy to
drive Hillary home
1:45 am Big Splash; America is safe once again.
22 prettyold // Aug 27, 2007 at 7:47 pm
How about John Edwards? He is unemployed, his health insurance probably is running out and we would have a pretty AG. A bonus would be not having to listen to his asinine blathering for the next year.
I’m afraid Congress would never go for Ann Coulter,and I don’t think she would want the paycut
23 Darthmeister // Aug 27, 2007 at 9:50 pm
John Kerry has let the last statute of limitation lapse on any defamation suit against Swiftboat Vets. If the Swiftboats lied, slandered and libeled Vietnam War veteran John Kerry (who also served in Cambodia), then he should have a slamdunk case shouldn’t he? Hmmmmmmm.
The must read link is here. Put up or shut up about being “swiftboated”, Mr. Kerry.
24 Ft. Hard Knox » Blog Honor Roll 08/27/07 // Aug 28, 2007 at 10:14 am
[…] 45 Excellent Blog Designs …a little inspiration to give our blog themes some character. Gonzales Quits, Bush Appoints Rove Attorney General (Satire) Rove hope he can “be effective at the attorney general’s main job which is to answer accusatory […]
25 conserve-a-tips // Aug 30, 2007 at 2:28 pm
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