(2007-03-29) — Faye Turney, one of 15 British sailors and marines held hostage by Iran, confessed today that her group had not accidentally strayed into Iranian waters, as she had previously admitted, but were actually mounting an invasion of the Islamic Republic.
“On direct orders from Prime Minister Tony Blair,” said Ms. Turney, “my mates and I were about to hit the beaches in southwestern Iran. From there our orders were to drive directly to the heart of Tehran and raise the Union Jack, claiming Iran as a British colony.”
The confession, contained in a note to her Mum, also indicated that the 15 British seapersons were “eager to reclaim the heathen land of Persia for the Christians and Jews.”
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42 responses so far ↓
1 Scott Ott // Mar 29, 2007 at 1:04 pm
British Hostage Admits She Was Invading Iran…
by Scott Ott(2007-03-29) — Faye Turney, one of 15 British sailors and marines held hostage by Iran, confessed today that her group had not accidentally strayed into Iranian waters, as she had previously admitted, but were actually mounting an……
2 Anonymous // Mar 29, 2007 at 1:04 pm
Well, at least the West is doing *something*!
3 JamesonLewis3rd // Mar 29, 2007 at 1:06 pm
God Bless America
4 Shelly // Mar 29, 2007 at 1:12 pm
Finally, a soldier whose words boberin might believe!
From the previous thread, the reason I care:
http://www.gidiocese.org/wnr/2004/07/16/headline.htm
5 Shelly // Mar 29, 2007 at 1:53 pm
Need a giggle? Go to IMAO and read the trivia question.
6 diamond jim // Mar 29, 2007 at 2:02 pm
This invasion will only anger militant Iranians , cause them to hate the British even more, and probably fly jets into Big Ben and the Tower of London.
7 Darthmeister // Mar 29, 2007 at 2:10 pm
How dare the Brits try to use their new secret weapon against the innocent Iranian government - codenamed Zena the Princess Warrior now with naval accessories.
Well, the Iranians trotted out their Zena counter-measures and demonstrated in the process they sure know how to handle female invader infidels because they now have Zena in a hijab (not to be confused with a hajib.) But of course none of this violates the Geneva Protocols or the Hague Accords since liberals aren’t foaming at the mouth at how Zena is being humiliated and probably being “coerced” while in Iranian
captivitydetention.8 Darthmeister // Mar 29, 2007 at 2:13 pm
Iranians: GPS? We don’t need no steenkin’ GPS. Allah told us the infidel invaders were in Iranian waters.
End of debate.
9 JamesonLewis3rd // Mar 29, 2007 at 2:22 pm
I’d like to slap that grin off Schumer’s face. What a punk.
10 gafisher // Mar 29, 2007 at 2:52 pm
What’s got the Persians really mad isn’t the “invasion,” it’s the threat to bring this before the UN. You know, like the Dems want us to do so, um, our opponents won’t get mad …
11 boberinyetagain // Mar 29, 2007 at 3:40 pm
That sounds exactly like the Iraqi invasion of America that we’ve been discussing. A rubber dighy and 15 very tired terrorists.
But the biceps on those people will be something to be feared for certain.
12 Harry Daschle // Mar 29, 2007 at 3:41 pm
A famous line from “Jaws” comes to mind in responce to the “invasion” comment.
“You are going to need a bigger boat!”
Maybe the United States can help Blair with one,(or MORE), of ours?
13 boberinyetagain // Mar 29, 2007 at 3:43 pm
Let’s just pray that the Iranians don’t use our own newly defined “enhanced interrogation” techniques on those captives.
It would almost be worth it to hear you hawks scream about the “inhumane” treatment
(not really but almost…)
14 Harry Daschle // Mar 29, 2007 at 3:46 pm
JL3 re#9, You and me both! Closely followed by Al Gore right after he says, “The planet has a FEVER!”
I heard that Henry Waxman doesn’t really look as bad as he appears.
Seems back in the 60’s he was at a holloween party using one of those “bald head/glasses/mustasche” masks, and before he put it on, someone coated it with superglue.
Same thing happened to Senator Levin when he slipped his glasses half way down that STUPID LOOKING NOSE of his!
15 conserve-a-tips // Mar 29, 2007 at 3:47 pm
Yes, Boberin, I would hate to think that they would loudly play Jimi Hendrix to these poor people or make make them stay up for 48 hours…oh wait…that was college…never mind.
16 woodnwheel // Mar 29, 2007 at 3:50 pm
Shelly,
Assuming we read the same trivia question, I have to say that, while I’m no fan of Jim Webb, that was a little to far over the line for me.
Scott,
Another excellent piece. As for reclaiming Persia for Christians and Jews, I picked up a book a few days ago (”Prayers for the Assassin” by Robert Ferrigno) that has the US divided into the “Bible Belt,” based in Atlanta, and the “Islamic Republic of America,” based in Seattle. I will caution that I haven’t yet read more than the cover and the first few pages, so by no means am I recommending it (yet), but it’s definitely an interesting premise and not far beyond the realm of possibility. Anyway, just wanted to throw that out there.
17 British Hostage Admits She Was Invading Iran « tmq2 // Mar 29, 2007 at 4:04 pm
[...] British Hostage Admits She Was Invading Iran 29 03 2007 From ScrappleFace.com: [...]
18 Darthmeister // Mar 29, 2007 at 4:12 pm
That sounds exactly like the Iraqi invasion of America that we’ve been discussing. A rubber dighy and 15 very tired terrorists.
Ya still don’t get it, bober It wont’ be an “Iraqi invasion”, it will be Muslim militants in cells and lonewolfing it who are seeking opportunities each and every day to work their evil here in America. We must dry up their swamps abroad to limit their opportunties for training and to have a staging ground to export their evil here. It’s a very real threat made less so by the fact we have slaughtered tens if not hundreds of thousands of the crazier ones on foreign battlefields, thus reducing the finite number of jihadists willing to go to any extreme to kill western infidels.
Fortunately it appears, for the moment, that the jihadists are not as interested in piecemeal mayhem here in America but rather looking to for opportunities to commit “the big one”. And we don’t really know how many plots have been uncovered or defused thanks to the hard work of this administration, law enforcement here, and the American soldier abroad. If left unchecked by running from major battlefields where we kill these kooks in droves, jihadists abroad will waste little time in readjusting their aim to take on softer targets here.
It is entirely possible we have exhausted the jihadist movement to a large degree thus buying ourselves some breathing room, but even if one doesn’t believe Iraq is simply another front on the general war on terror, it would still behoove such a person to consider the very real possibility that al Qaeda and other terrorist groups will be great emboldened by our retreat from Iraq as a sign of weakness. It doesn’t matter what YOU think bober, what does matter is how the jihadists perceive a precipitous exit from Iraq. Remember, Osama bin Laden was emboldened after our exit from Somalia because our retreat after having our noses bloodied in the Black Hawk down incident in Mogudishu created in him the perception America and the American soldier are a paper tiger. And now politically-motivated DemDonks are hellbent on proving America is a paper tiger to today’s jihadists!
Direct quote from Osama bin Laden in a Frontline interview May 1998:
After our victory in Afghanistan and the defeat of the oppressors who had killed millions of Muslims, the legend about the invincibility of the superpowers vanished. Our boys no longer viewed America as a superpower. So, when they left Afghanistan, they went to Somalia and prepared themselves carefully for a long war. They had thought that the Americans were like the Russians, so they trained and prepared. They were stunned when they discovered how low was the morale of the American soldier. America had entered with 30,000 soldiers in addition to thousands of soldiers from different countries in the world. … As I said, our boys were shocked by the low morale of the American soldier and they realized that the American soldier was just a paper tiger. He was unable to endure the strikes that were dealt to his army, so he fled, and America had to stop all its bragging and all that noise it was making in the press after the Gulf War in which it destroyed the infrastructure and the milk and dairy industry that was vital for the infants and the children and the civilians and blew up dams which were necessary for the crops people grew to feed their families. Proud of this destruction, America assumed the titles of world leader and master of the new world order. After a few blows, it forgot all about those titles and rushed out of Somalia in shame and disgrace, dragging the bodies of its soldiers.
Notice the lies and historical distortions Osama engages in the bolster his revisionist history. Little different than what the liberal socialists do here in America! Liberal American-haters could have written this script for Osama.
So how will Muslim jihadists see our cutting-and-running from Iraq any differently, bober?
19 boberinyetagain // Mar 29, 2007 at 4:15 pm
CAT, so, you would not object in the least to those folks getting the same treatment as those in Gitmo? (and better example would naturally be the overseas detention centers we so humanely set up, or didn’t)
At that rate we could expect their release in 5 years or so…or not. Perhaps they could look forward to a secret trial in 5 years, perhaps not…
20 Fred Sinclair // Mar 29, 2007 at 4:16 pm
GOOD NEWS DEPT, (mine) I’m back from the cataract surgery, The surgeon said, “It couldn’t have gone better”. Bandages come off tomorrow, right eye surgery in about a month. For those of you who prayed for successful surgery. - thank you.
Heirborn Ranger
21 boberinyetagain // Mar 29, 2007 at 4:21 pm
They might see us as willing to mind our own business. We declared victory long ago, should left then, head held high.
Again, these terror cells are waiting for the war to be over? Why is that, exactly?
100+ civilians killed by terrorists in Philadelphia this year and it’s early yet, we don’t really get cranked up until it’s hot out.
and yet, i can/will/do go to Philadelphia for business and pleasure. Tell me about a real threat, not an imaginary one.
Angry folks armed with box cutters killed 3,000 of us. Do you really think the war has made us safer from angry folks with box cutters or are there even more folks even angrier now?
22 conserve-a-tips // Mar 29, 2007 at 4:32 pm
Woodnwheel, sounds like an interesting book. Wouldn’t that be poetic justice if the blue state liberals would be clamoring at the doors of us red staters in the Bible Belt, to get away from the Islamofascists?
Speaking of books, I was reading my Bible this morning and was studying the scriptures regarding Joseph in Egypt. The king had called Joseph in to tell him what his dreams had meant and Joseph does so. The following verse caught my eye: And all the countries came to Egypt to buy grain from Joseph, because the famine was severe in all the world.
How many issues today could that be applied to!!! Let’s see…global warming, the cry for the redistribution of wealth, class envy, evil big business, etc. and etc…
Oops. Gotta go. Shutting down the computer. Tornadoes on the ground. Bye!
23 JamesonLewis3rd // Mar 29, 2007 at 4:35 pm
Apples != Oranges
24 boberinyetagain // Mar 29, 2007 at 4:35 pm
CAT, yikes! Now there is a real threat to health and welfare, tornadoes! Be safe
25 boberinyetagain // Mar 29, 2007 at 4:46 pm
Good news indeed Fred, congratulations!
26 Shelly // Mar 29, 2007 at 5:24 pm
Fred, couldn’t be happier about your good news!
woodnwheel, you realize the Webb thing was referencing his own writings, don’t you? If he hadn’t seen fit to include that very thing in his own novel, I too would have found it over the top.
boberin, British sailors and marines are not terrorists. By your logic murderers and thieves should be treated no differently than police officers and fire fighters.
27 Beerme // Mar 29, 2007 at 6:15 pm
Shelly,
That’s moral equivalence for you!
Why exactly is Philadelphia such a horrid place-worse, even than Baghdad? Could it be the Christian evangelicals? The Neo-cons? Bush? Nah, it surely is those registered gun owners that are to blame…
28 camojack // Mar 29, 2007 at 6:18 pm
Maybe it was “P.M.S.”…a pre-emptive military strike.
29 GnuCarSmell // Mar 29, 2007 at 6:19 pm
RAF Commander M. Python warned Iran, “To avoid grievous flesh wounds, we demand that the pagans immediately and unconditionally release all British seapersons. Further impudence will unleash the wrath of highly skilled airpersons and special-opspersons.”
30 Beerme // Mar 29, 2007 at 6:22 pm
I think everyone should check out King-George.biz and give ET a welcome send-off…
31 Ms RightWing, Ink // Mar 29, 2007 at 6:38 pm
I recall something in the history books that one if by land and two if by sea. Hmm, how many lights do you think they had planted on the banks
Hey, if it worked for Paul, it could work for her.
32 Ms RightWing, Ink // Mar 29, 2007 at 6:42 pm
conserve-a-tips
I hope and pray that the severe storms in your area will have no affect upon you and yours.
33 GnuCarSmell // Mar 29, 2007 at 6:48 pm
Is it my imagination, or is that a deafening silence I hear coming from Human Rights Watch and Amnesty International?
I do believe subjecting prisoners to public display violates Geneva Conventions.
34 JamesonLewis3rd // Mar 29, 2007 at 7:48 pm
Yes, Convention III, Article 13~~”Likewise, prisoners of war must at all times be protected, particularly against acts of violence or intimidation and against insults and public curiosity.” (h/t Captain’s Quarters)
There are a couple of others they have violated but I can’t think of them right now.
35 mindknumbed kid // Mar 29, 2007 at 9:08 pm
Maybe the sane world did not do anything to make these Islamopunks, maybe they are just a bunch of Abdals.
It’s too bad all of us real patriotic Americans are too busy working our butts off to show up in mass to tell the sorry excuse for Senate and House leadership that we want to stay and fight in Iraq and take out Iran too, we want to deal with the situation there in a serious fashion.
10 to 15 million people camping out in DC for a week ought to get some attention.
36 mindknumbed kid // Mar 29, 2007 at 9:11 pm
That’s great Fred !! No hiccups,I assume.
37 conserve-a-tips // Mar 29, 2007 at 9:16 pm
Thank you Ms Rightwing, Ink and Boberin for your kind thoughts.
My family has been spared, but there are some hurting people today. Several people killed last night out in western Oklahoma and two in critical condition this afternoon here close in OKC. Lots of homes damaged and destroyed and stories to beat all stories. Just northwest of us, they interviewed a lady who heard a roar and she and her little girl stepped to her porch in time to see debris flying by. She grabbed her little girl and tried to get her dog to come into the house, but the dog was picked up off the ground and disappeared. She dragged her daughter to an inner room. When the tornado passed, she went outside to see the mess and miraculously, her dog had been deposited, unhurt, in the neighbor’s yard, among the ruins of that house. The dog was attempting to cross the road to get home. The news showed a semi-truck that was picked up and tossed on its side. I have not heard how the driver is. Some people were in their cars on the turnpike and their cars were turned all the way around backwards. These weren’t very big tornadoes by our usual standards, but they were still ugly. Tonight is going to be long and we still have the possibility of more tomorrow. March thru June in Oklahoma - what a trip!
38 mindknumbed kid // Mar 29, 2007 at 9:17 pm
Want to win the war on terror ?
Just send all of the PORK from the Iraq funding bill to the terrorists, dripping with fresh blood. That oughta be enough to make ‘em run….
39 conserve-a-tips // Mar 29, 2007 at 10:27 pm
mindknumbed kid: I have often wondered - if the liberals are so against our “hurting” anybody or getting our soldiers hurt, what would be wrong with loading up bombs with pig’s blood from packing houses and dropping those on areas or loading tanker trucks with pig’s blood and spraying houses, land, people and other buildings until they scream for mercy?? Iran would be a good place to start. Those British soldiers could just walk away while their captors would be jumping around or rolling in the dirt in hysterics. The Brits wouldn’t give a rip about being tainted by a pig.
40 Darthmeister // Mar 29, 2007 at 10:41 pm
Moonbats unleashed.
Rosie O’Donnell spews her venom and conspiracy theories to the delight of other moonbats in her audience. Unbelievable. On the one hand Rosie condemns how America has bought into this media conspiracy (apparently she’s such a moonbat that she believes the liberal media is right-wing … buwahahahahahaha, what is she smoking?) that America is “good” and Muslim fundamentalists are “evil”. It’s not right to “demonize” people like that she laments and then goes on to demonize the entire Bush Administration and applauds the witchhunts Democrats are conducting on “all those Republicans under investigation”.
bober, the British soldiers were illegally snatched on the high seas two miles outside Iran’s territorial waters and the Brits say they have satellite and GPS evidence. This means the Iranians broke international law in kidnapping these soldiers. Now are you going to believe the Iranians in this matter or the Brits?
On the other hand those at GITMO were captured by Coaltion troops ON THE BATTLEFIELD trying to kill our guys. Quit with your tiresome false moral equivalences, unless of course you are inadvertantly falling into Scott’s parody of believing those 15 British soldiers were on a secret mission to invade Iran and are therefore enemy combatants attacking Iran!
41 Darthmeister // Mar 29, 2007 at 10:57 pm
Again, these terror cells are waiting for the war to be over? Why is that, exactly?
You can’t possibly be that dense. Any number of terror cells have been broken up since 9/11 here in America and there have been any number of terrorist attempts that have been thwarted, some of which don’t even make print.
Even the Brits are kept busy arresting terrorist plotters and thwarting terror attempts. It’s very real but apparently you prefer your blissful ignorance of such dangers in your foolish complacency. Isn’t it ironic, there are men and women working the butts off and in some cases putting their lives on the line to keep mockers like you safe and here you are denying there is even a threat that we should worry ourselves about because we’re being too paranoid or something. Sheesh, what a blind ingrate. And what makes you so pitiable, bober, is your self-imposed ignorance. Believing the best about jihadists, as you apparently do, isn’t exactly a rational act.
42 Darthmeister // Mar 29, 2007 at 11:44 pm
Another WTC modeler “proving” 9/11 was an inside job because his model didn’t collapsed! Un-freakin’-believable.
What Popular Mechanics did in debunking the 9/11 conspiracy moonbats in 2005 doesn’t even slow these lunatics down. There is no way one can “scale down” the loads and the tensile strength of steel using the materials this moron used.
Also, steel doesn’t have to melt for it to suffer catastrophic failure, particularly when under a load. Temperatures as low as 1200 to 1400 degrees could have caused the precise failures we saw in the Twin Towers and then the pancaking effect is what caused the air to be violently pushed out the windows making it appear there was some kind of control demolition taking place. Drop a 4 foot by 8 foot piece of plywood just a few feet off the ground and just see the rather vigorous effect that has in pushing/displacing air.
Yeah, isn’t it amazing how the WTC were pre-wired for demolition and those were precisely the structures that two of four independently hijacked jetliners decided to crash into? Of course to the moonbat it means that the evil Bu$Hitler/Rove/Cheney/Halliburton cabal was also complicit in convincing 19 Arab men or the pilots themselves to crash jetliners into American building thus ending their lives in glorious jihad.
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