(2006-12-21) — Clinton administration National Security Adviser Samuel ‘Sandy’ Berger today said he “still can’t say for sure” what happened to several classified documents he removed from the National Archives in October 2003, but that they may have gone up in smoke.
Mr. Berger, who was convicted of the crime, fined $50,000, sentenced to 100 hours of community service and barred from the Archives for three years, allegedly smuggled out some of the documents in his socks.
Today his attorney released a statement from Mr. Berger in response to this week’s report on the Inspector General’s probe of the case.
According to Mr. Berger’s own account: “Twas nigh upon Christmas, and down in my socks I secretly stuffed those archival docs. My stockings I hung by the chimney with care, in hopes that the FBI wouldn’t look there.”
Later in his testimony he admits the documents may have fallen from his stockings into the fireplace: “As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly, when they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky; so up through the chimney in ashes they flew. Thus my secrets were safe, and Bill Clinton’s were too.”
A spokesman from the Inspector General’s office expressed skepticism about Mr. Berger’s new story, but said “it has a ring of familiarity.”
In unrelated news, the New York Historical Society announced today it would launch an investigation into the disappearance of its copy of Clement Clark Moore’s poem A Visit from St. Nicholas.
31 responses so far ↓
1 JamesonLewis3rd // Dec 21, 2006 at 8:41 am
God Bless America!
Merry Christmas!
2 Hawkeye // Dec 21, 2006 at 8:46 am
Merry Christmas to all, and to ALL a good day… or, something like that!
(:D) Regards…
3 Hawkeye // Dec 21, 2006 at 8:49 am
Hmmm. I think the “Grinch” stole my post.
4 Maggie // Dec 21, 2006 at 9:04 am
Merry Christmas!
Even more incredulous, his security clearance was suspended for only 3 years instead of being revoked permanently.
OT…..Officers Ramos and Campion are headed to jail in Janurary unless Pres.Bush pardons them.You remember these border guards who were sentenced to a long prison term for shooting an illegal drug smuggler who was fleeing back across the border into Mexico.
Go to grassfire.org and sign the petition requesting Mr Bush to pardon these men.
5 gafisher // Dec 21, 2006 at 9:07 am
Clement Moore did much to damage the history and tradition of Nicholas, a real person and Church father who rose to legendary status in the centuries after his death. Ironically, in the oh-so-politically correct area of Europe in which the tradition was most dearly held, Nicholas’ companion, Swarte Piet, is being eradicated for no reason but that he is a Moor.
Sandy Berger should expect coal in his stocking.
6 Analchord // Dec 21, 2006 at 9:17 am
If this planet had been saved by Christmas, and the three wise men (obviously Islamic Jihadists in waiting), had converted their hoards of ne’er do wells into christians, as Scott’s Al Jezeera video pretended, then the Cold War in 1961 might have gone something like this. (imagine an entire planet of catholics true believers):
“Sir, we have something on the radar. It appears to be three Hail Mary’s and a Glory Be. Coming in over the Bering Straits and the ballistical retrace shows it’s origin is Moscow.”
“What’s the reliability?”…….”95%”……..”Are you sure? The last time you thought it was Hail Mary’s it turned out to be three God Bless You’s from a Kruschev sneezing fit”……..”no sir, we’re sure this time”.
“What do you think, Genera Bishop?”……”Mr President, I’d launch a full retaliatory rosary immediately”…….”Then what do you think the Russians will do?”……..”Well sir, the russians will send a novena.”……”A novena? Then we’d have to respond with a Stations of the Cross, which might invite an entire High Mass in reply, is that what you’re suggesting?”……….”Well, sir, I would think that cooler secular heads would prevail by then, sir..”
President Kennedy pounds on the table with his fists. “Cooler Secular Heads? Stand down! We are not going down this path. We’ll just absorb the prayers and accept the good wishes of the Russian Orthodoxers.”
At that point the joint chiefs of staff rushed President Kennedy with holy water batons and annointed him with oil, and started cannonization proceedings.
From that day on, everybody remembered what they were doing on the day President Kennedy was made a saint.
7 sojourner // Dec 21, 2006 at 9:22 am
I thought Scott was making up the part about Burger only getting community service and a fine and not being able to access MORE classified documents for three years. This rat destroyed vital information, and was given a free pass. Truth is sometimes stranger than fiction.
8 TouchyFeely // Dec 21, 2006 at 9:42 am
Lawyers - especially Washington lawyers - and the professional courtesy they extend to each other in the form of “these laws don’t apply to us” - are destroying this nation.
9 onlineanalyst // Dec 21, 2006 at 10:10 am
Through the Landmark Legal Foundation, Mark Levin has been pursuing securing copies or originals of the “disappeared” “Burglar” docs through the FOIA. However the Clinton administration has been stonewalling.
My, my, there was plenty of hauling ashes by the Klintoon Kabal. What a legacy!
10 onlineanalyst // Dec 21, 2006 at 10:19 am
Yesterday a freeper posted a photo of the Klintoon Trailer-Trash Presidential Library, wondering if it was the trailer referred to in the IG’s report.
Another poster at CQ suggested that the trailer on Pa. Ave. could have served as a “drop” to spirit the annotated documents out of the National Archives. An alternated theory is that sanitized documents replaced the ones that disappeared.
Off topic: Has anyone heard from MsRW,Ink? Her email is bouncing back because her mailbox is full.
11 nylecoj // Dec 21, 2006 at 10:40 am
an entire High Mass in reply
Analchord that was hilarious
12 upnorthlurkin // Dec 21, 2006 at 10:47 am
OLA, I’ve been trying to call Ms. RW for three days now. All I get is what I assume is an answering machine that’s not programmed with a message or not set up to take messages…I’m awfully worried. Anyone out there near Barberton, OH?! A computer crash I could understand, but no phone?!
13 GnuCarSmell // Dec 21, 2006 at 11:33 am
“Step away from those highly classified documents! Spread-eagle on the floor! Now give me twenty-five push-ups or I’ll shoot you off to community service!”
Oh, the indignities a Clinton loyalist must suffer!
14 RedPepper // Dec 21, 2006 at 11:35 am
upnorth: The telephone answering machine could also be full …
15 seneuba // Dec 21, 2006 at 12:10 pm
This seems like something George Costanza (Seinfeld) would do.
16 Shelly // Dec 21, 2006 at 2:51 pm
What a terrific piece, Scott! How many of us have also accidentally stuffed important documents into our pants and socks, and then accidentally destroyed them. If I had a nickel for everytime I heard that story…
17 antodav // Dec 21, 2006 at 2:54 pm
I always thought he hid them in his pants…oh well, whatever. Nice one. Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.
18 camojack // Dec 21, 2006 at 4:11 pm
He was chubby and plump - a right jolly old elf;
And I laughed when I saw him in spite of myself.
19 GnuCarSmell // Dec 21, 2006 at 4:34 pm
National Archive librarian whispering to security guard: “Either Mr. Berger is trying to smuggle a top-secret document out, or he’s awful excited to be here.”
20 Terry Cowgill » Blog Archive » Can Sandy “B” Saved? // Dec 21, 2006 at 5:52 pm
[...] I remember thinking at the time that this was a sad end to an otherwise fine career. The 1963 graduate of Webutuck High School has become a laughing stock. If you don’t believe me, do a Google Image search using his name and see what turns up. And parodies such as this one from Scrappleface and the one below are everywhere. [...]
21 Beerme // Dec 21, 2006 at 6:13 pm
If they actually did go “up in smoke”, I’m sure Sandy, in fine Clinton tradition, did not inhale…
22 mig // Dec 21, 2006 at 6:24 pm
Oh so now this is news. Why? It should have been BIGGER news 3 years ago! There should have been more outrage in the media. Billboards with his picture on it. Waterboarding! Snowboarding. uh, no scratch that last one.
23 Maggie // Dec 21, 2006 at 6:29 pm
Cute, Shelly….re # 16
Also Mig……Waterboarding and Snow boarding ……hmmmmm?…..not a bad idea.
24 camojack // Dec 21, 2006 at 7:13 pm
Mary Christmas!
25 da Bunny // Dec 21, 2006 at 8:33 pm
ola, don’t you mean the “Clinton Library and Massage Parlor?”
26 Libby Gone // Dec 21, 2006 at 9:45 pm
How I steal from you
yo run a tun rotund,
my socks I fill for for you
Bill Clinton ton ton.
Shillary wants to be
President de de
why do we
need to be
even thinking’bout this
Thoughts should be on
Christmas.
27 mig // Dec 21, 2006 at 10:20 pm
And he hung the stockings by the chimney with care…
heh heh heh… oh good grief!
28 conserve-a-tips // Dec 22, 2006 at 12:05 am
Heh guys. Been running like a chicken with my head cut off, trying to get ready for Christmas tomorrow night (yes, Virginia tomorrow night) because all of the kids will be other places on Christmas Day. AND the daughter bought a house that we have to have painted and ready to move into by next weekend. So, I am afraid that I have bypassed my beloved Scrapplers for Christmas pandemonium. Will be on the road come Saturday on a 16 hour trip and will check in with y’all from the laptop. Have a wonderful Christmas. Oh, and Scott, I loved it. Am sending it to my best friend.
29 Harry Daschle // Dec 22, 2006 at 6:36 am
It’s getting to where you cannot stuff anything down your pants anymore!
Next time Sandy, (or his buddy Lee Hamilton), should take a turkey and stuff it.
One off topic thought.
I, (being a male), have always been told women are more mature than men. If that’s true, how do you explain The View and their audience which are 99% women laughing at Rosie and her childish, (and actually cruel), comments?
30 Analchord // Dec 22, 2006 at 7:43 am
The cacophony of clucks + chirps by those roosting hens on the View is why we men would rather spend our lives ensuring that Paris and Brittany wear panties than listen to one minute of those magpies on the View.
31 Darthmeister // Dec 26, 2006 at 2:25 pm
What I want to know is this: When those documents Sandy Burglar burgled went up in smoke, DID HE INHALE?
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